21 Sep 2011

News : Military Men Coming Out

Category: News

After countless men and women have been keeping their sexual orientation a secret and after a heated debate the 18 year old “don’t ask, don’t tell” law has been repealed. The repeal went into effect at 12:01am this morning. For the first time in almost 20 years, the men and women in the US military are now free to declare their sexual orientation without risking their military careers.

For a first-hand look, on this first day of freedom, check out this video of a soldier telling his father he is gay for the first time. I was moved watching this soldier come out to his father, what impression did the video have on you?

Stephan

54 comments for News : Military Men Coming Out

  • I remember when I had to come out to my family in AL!

  • this video was touching and moved me. I am glad this rule/law was repealed. we as Americans should be able to express ourselfs openly. after all isn’t that what America stands for: us to be ourselfs, Freedom, justice, and eqaulity for all, non racist?

  • Ya know… I think it was great and a wonderful thing,,, ( I hope that it is for real and not something that was staged,, ) When I first saw this it brought tears to my eyes,,, His Dad was really a great guy for saying what he did and in loving his Son… I wish more people would get on the train of life and just believe in each other,,, it is a lot to ask but it just takes one at a time to make it work,,,

  • This was really touching. I wish my coming-out experience was like his. At least they still have a good relationship.

  • I wish i was as brave :/

  • I watched the Youtube clip this morning, it was very moving. It reminded me when I did my coming out to my dad. He was very supportive of me. I am sure of what he did, will open the door for a lot children and their parents. I am also in the service. I never had to tell anyone, they just guess by themselves because of the way I carry myself. But they never asked either.
    I say thank him for doing what he did. He is a leader for his moral and personal courage, his selfless service, his duty, his honor, his integrity, his respect, and his loyalty.

  • I really think is good to know that there are still parents that do care about their kids and will love them no matter what. Congrats to all the military service men and women that can know serve freely and be able to be who they are.

  • wow I was nervous for him, I even had a few tears. very inspiring to be brave and not be afraid to be yourself gay, straight or bi.

  • For a man to confess that he is gay, it really shows he’s a real man.

  • Wow I almost cried.

  • Awesome young man making the best decision of his life. I’m very glad to hear the sincerity of his father’s voice on the other end. In the perfect world this would be a great thing when it comes to acceptance. Unfortunately not everyone is going to have his success. My heart was racing right along with him. Thank you for your service young man and to all the other military – str8 & gay!!!

  • OMG!!!!… My heart was RACING when I heard that phone ringing.

    It made me remember how I told my dad.

    My dad was a cowboy, in the service, worked on the oil rig, put himself though school had 3 wives with plemty of kids and has a girlfriend. My dad to ‘me’ is a def of a real masculine man. I was so scared when I told him. I thought he was gonna kick me out.

    Put when I told him, he knew and told me he still loved me and gave me a hug.

    I’m so glad everything went well for this soldier. I’m so glad the law was changed. The soldiers, men and women just want to serve their country. INTOLERANCE NEEDS TO STOP!!!!….

  • i was moved when i watched this

  • Very powerful, I expect it will bring back memories for many of us, regardless of whether or not in the military. Oh, and if his Daddy won’t love him, I will!

  • Military is marching out of the closet! Gays have always been in the Service! The only difference is now, it is acknowledged! Gays Work side by side with Straights! In the business world And it is working fine and even fun! The Military is just another paid job ! The bigger issue is: Military Equipment that really works & back to Winning Wars Again!

  • I may have been born this way! ? But my parients had a lot to do with my selection of life style! And few parients take responcibility for my roll-model choices!

  • Very insightful and informative thx for informing us on this important matter!!!

  • This was the cutest thing ever.. I loved you’re the dad was able to confidently say, “I love you” to his son. I’m so happy for him! :)

  • I know the feeling.

  • Moms will always know :P, when i came out to her she said she already knew (0_o) haha

  • This was very moving and I am so proud of this soldier!!!!!!

  • This left a big impression on me it takes a lot to do that .I am very proud of him for coming to his dad and to know his dad still loves him even he is gay .

  • It was a wonderful thing. Congtrats to him AND his father!

  • Bravo… Very brave.

  • I am military and it is a relief that we dont have to worry about getting kicked out for being who we are.

  • bravest man I’ve seen in a while…(is it wrong to want to see him without his shirt?)

  • I think a lot of us saw this video. My dad passed away before I could tell him. To be honest I don’t think I could ever had told him. What’s funny is after he passed away we found out that his brother was gay. It was only after he passed away that I felt comfortable to come out to my family. I did it through a long email letting everything out. I have a large family so it was a bit tough. Even though 2 of my siblings had a problem with it they all love me just the same. It was hard to sit there and wait for their reply emails, wondering if your family would still love you or not. Was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. What made it tough was that no one had a clue.

  • Very brave young man! I am happy for him coming out and telling his Father. Here I am 50 years old and still don’t have the balls to tell folks. I wish him all the best. Oh, by the way – vey nice looking you man too!

  • I love this video. He’s a cutie pie too!

  • i watched this video on a different site and i too was moved it feels amazing that ppl r finally seeing homosexuals r no different than other ppl. i just wish my family will b as accepting as his father is the day i decided to tell them.

  • It was moving to see a young man be so brave & all ready accepted within the military

  • “I still love you son.” I bawled like a baby from that point on through the whole video. I had to watch it a few times to hear everything that was said.
    His Dad ROCKS!!!!!!

  • This seriously touches my heart. I was blessed with amazing parents who did not care what my sexual preference is. So many homosexual people would kill to have understanding parents like this. We lose so many people a year because of suicides due to being gay. Everyone one should know that you are aren’t alone. Someone ALWAYS cares.<3

  • My heart goes out to you and your family. You have a great dad. Serving in the military is a sacrifice and an honor. Thank you for sharing this moment.

  • What a great father to love his son without condition of his orientation.

  • Oh man! He had me as nervous for him as I was. By the end of the video, I had tears of happiness. He can live his life now openly and proud. What a way to go!!

  • this was very touching i wish i was that brave…dats wassup that his dad was cool bout it

  • Very inspiring. Also, to answer the question from above… yes, this is real. I personally know the guy. You can find a series of videos on YouTube leading up to this. His name on there is areyousuprised. and for the guy who wanted to see him with his shirt off, find him on Twitter. his info is on his youtube profile. there is a pic you will like showing his progress in working out.

  • I think this was one of the best videos that I have seen on YouTube of all time. I still have not told my father. My mother treated it like a death in my immediate family while my grandmother supports me fully.

    Good on you soldier. You are a pillar of strength for our community and our country. Thank you for speaking out for those who can’t or those who fear more than rejection.

    Much love!

    Jeff

  • Two thoughts:

    1. I’m pretty sure we’re going to find out in a few months that this was staged. It’s simply too odd. If he had spent four hours “hemming and hawing” as he claims he did, it’s difficult to believe that he’d blurt out “I’m gay” within 15 seconds of calling. That *might* have been his dad on the phone, but I’m near certain the call was scripted either way.

    2. The repeal of DADT is great and all, but I think all of these soldiers who are suddenly coming out in droves (and feeling they can now post profiles on A4A in uniform, etc.) are going to be shocked to find to find themselves on the wrong end of a dishonorable discharge in about 18 months (if not sooner*) when a Republican takes the oath of office in 2013. Our economic mess is going to take several cycles to correct (that’s if it can be corrected) and a renewed homosexual witch hunt will be seen by the public as the new President “doing something” (even if it’s realistically meaningless).

    *The elimination of DADT doesn’t mean being gay and a member of the military is immediately okay any more than teaching tolerance makes high school magically safe. We’re going to see a great many soldiers who to date had spotless service records, suddenly drummed out of the armed forces for any number of trumped-up charges simply because “gay” is no longer available as a rationale.

  • Steve is right in grew with 3 branches of military in fact the repeal of DADT gives licesnce to the witch hunts of old the reasons will be vague but thenresultsnthe same dishonorable discharge it’s a job you do what your job tells you or you get a new job that’s the freedom America is founded on until the people change and middle America is beimg becoming more Entrenched it will not be safe if there is such thing as secure

  • My dad is gay, one of my brothers are bisexual, and I am gay. Our family is an interesting bunch. However, I think the interesting part was when our father came out to us… It was shock, amazement and .. ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST…

  • So Steve….you think that the american people will be stupid enough to put a republican president along with a republican congress….? If so….you will see the end of the civil liberties …

    About the video…I too thinks that was staged but true.

  • Wow I was so moved by this that tears came to my eyes, what a beautiful moment, the world needs more parents like this!

  • I was soo touched by this video.. I really wish I could do this at tell my family.. but it truly is difficult.. especially when you are from a conservative town in Texas.. Im happy for him and will say that he’s giving me a little boost of confidence..

  • So….When is this man coming home so I can give,him the biggest diamond wedding ring in the world? No, I am NOT wealthy, just in love with him for his courage to not only tell his family for the first time but taking 4 hours how to tell him in front of the whole world as to be an example of working out his fear to live in the truth. If I was to marry him, there would be that added plus of having well thinking in-laws as well. FROM ALABAMA!!! That Southern drawl (from any state) sends me through the roof which makes another reasons to have his baby. What? I can’t have children? Well,…I’ll give him whatever else he wants, that;s for sure!!!

    In all seriousness, I DO consider him a hero just by this one act of love for himself and for us all. If you do read this, Soldier, I love you with pride, honor, and deep compassion as a brother of not only my lgbt family, but as in my family of human beings because this video you filmed of your self in this intimate moment I shall NEVER, EVER forget!!!!!!

    Thank you :)))))))

  • I’m in the military and have been open about my sexuality to some extent with close friends. It is a relief to know that I won’t get kicked out of the service. The repeal hasn’t changed me one bit in regards to disclosure….it’s still my business, and i don’t owe an explanation to anyone regarding my sexual preferences. As for the idiot posting about the end of the repeal with a Republican president, guess you forgot it was a Democrat who put this sham on the tables in the first place…slick Willie Clinton. So get off your high horse and start living in the real world instead of living by your misguided “us vs. them” drivel.

  • I came out to my parents by accident. I carelessly left an intimate letter to a guy (who is now my ex) I was seeing, who had to move away due to his financial situation, in my room and my mother to found it. His leaving hit me real hard. I was a little graphic in my letter to him (sexually). So imagine my embarrassment when my mother found it and gave it to my father to read. This was the second time this has happened. My father was in the military at the time so you know he did not take it too well. The first time (it was to an old lover of mine in high school) he made me read the letter to him which was followed by a slap to my face that sent me flying through the air and landing on my bed! He then pulled out a rifle and said “The next time you put your d*ck up someone else’s a*s this is going right up there with it!!” Well that didn’t stop me.

    The second time wasn’t until 4 years later after we returned from a 2 year stay in Korea (Wow! Did I have fun with the lonely GI’s!). I didn’t have to read it to him this time but I had a choice…stay home and “play straight” or go live with my uncle, who is also gay. I chose to go live with my uncle. That same night I was supposed to go to the local gay club with some friends who stopped by to pick me up. This happened within minutes of my parents finding out about me. I figured everything was okay since I was moving out anyway. I came downstairs ready to go, only to find my friend standing there watching my father polishing his rifle!! He asked me if I was sure I wanted to go out. I said yes. He repeated the question still polishing the rifle. I figured I had better say no. I walked my friend outside apologizing to him about what had happened. He was pissed! Well 2 weeks later I was packed and ready to go join my now ex-lover to live with him. He took me in with open arms. We were together for 18 years. I didn’t really have anything to do with my father for a long time. Every time he would call he wanted to know if I had a girlfriend yet. You don’t know how bad I wanted to say “No, I have a boyfriend!” but he really put fear in me because of what he did. It took a while before I was able to really stand up to him.

    Now today, my mother, 2 brothers and my sister have really accepted me for who I am. I have also come out to my coworkers. My father (who I found out recently is my stepfather. I haven’t had the guts to inform my real father) and I are not that close but occasionally he will call to say hi and see how I’m doing and has visited me on 2 occasions since I moved away from home 26 years ago. I’m single still looking for someone and my ex, who is bi, is now married with 3 children who love me to death.

  • Oops I made a mistake in my last comment…I chose to go live with my now ex…not my uncle. Sorry about that.

  • Hey man let me first say hats off to you for serving our country. I know this is a year later but I am from good ole Alabama too so hang in there man like the videos keep em coiming if you ever Home look me up I am in NW BAMA Muscle Shoals. Look me up and will go have a beer.

  • In response to Steve and NavyBrat: It is hard not to think/fear that these servicemembers are painting themselves into a corner. But the likelihood is should that repeal happen it would have to have some sort of grandfathering protection for those members that responded under the law that allowed their actions. I don’t see a repeal being passed through both houses of congress without some type of protection for these men and women. As a former member of the US Navy who had the job of preparing the paperwork required for discharge in these situations, I can also tell you that in many, many of these cases, there is a loophole having to do with stupid semantics of wording that can determine whether someone gets an “honorable” or “general” discharge versus an “other than honorable” discharge. Depending on that wording, they are supposed to base your discharge on your service record and that’s it. Of course we are all aware of the great divide between what should or is supposed to happen and what DOES happen.

    Either way, this soldier was brave and so was his father. I admire them both.

  • I wish I was there to offer him a hug at the end. He could have really used one.

  • Great job, bravo for all you courage in all you do. thank you

  • omg Larry your story was hilarious.. lmfao.. Your father was a real dick, lmfao.. I can’t

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