Lately I’ve been going through a lot of trails in my life and am very happy to have my support system of friends with me, but on a regular basis I wish I had more “gay” friends. I just wish I had a group of friends I could hang with on a regular basis to just relax and blend in with when it comes to sexuality and relationship problems. (Don’t get me wrong straight friends are great but start talking about a rimjob in front of them……) But there is a “large” problem with finding friends in my rural area of Florida.
I weigh about 277 pounds.
You see it all the time in profiles. (Taken from actual A4A profiles)
men of color need only apply
if you’re over 60 go die already and stop hitting on me
foreskin is gross
I could go on with this list as you all know.
So why is it a problem that I’m a big guy and how does it challenge making friends? Well you all know the answers. I’m surrounded by a bunch of beach cut skinny gays who won’t be seen in public with me. And I’ve never NOT been welcome with other bears but the age difference just makes it awkward socially to be around men 40 years my senior, and most of them are just trying to get into my pants……
I’m working on two articles that deal with two VERY common groups of people inside the gay “community”. One is all but shunned and ignored ALL THE TIME, while the other is just silently judged. Those will be coming out in the next week or so, so keep your eyes peeled. This is just a general thing.
So whether it’s online, on an app, at a bar or just on the streets we have all seen fellow homosexuals. Chances are we’ve nodded or said a silent hello, or sent something through an app. BIGGER chances are if you saw them with a group of friends, you and your friends judged and make superficial remarks about them and let them walk by. Commenting on how femmy they walked, the backpack they had, their hair, weight or some other physical characteristic. Then the group moved it’s “Mean girls” gaze elsewhere to start on someone new….. and that’s totally normal. Groups feel comfortable when making fun of an outsider. But why? What does it truly accomplish? As a group or alone what does your negativity do ?
Gay on Gay Bullying is the highest recorded type of bullying that most gay teens and adults face.
What did that guy EVER do to you? What is so great about you that gives you the right to JUDGE let alone mock someone else?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m fucking amazing. But so are you. And so is he. And her. Them. That group over there. We are all fucking amazing people. So why go on with these fickle mind games? YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE ON THIS PLANET!
With the latest FB craze of the red HRC logo showing “Unity” for equal rights put things in perspective for a few people. The profile pictures all changed to the same thing. Because we are all the same. Same humans. Same life. Same Love. We are all the same and here’s the biggest news flash.
AMERICA ISN’T GOING TO TREAT ANYONE EQUAL, WHO TREATS GROUPS WITHIN THEMSELVES UNFAIRLY.
The African Americans won their civil liberties by uniting and fighting one front against racial oppression. Yes people now see it’s wrong to segregate people on race and are now getting the message on marriage rights. But that doesn’t mean we’re on the right track.
We are a nation divided by catty titles, superficiality and pop culture. On the inside a polar bear daddy and a twink are the same person. Don’t compliment the muscle bear in the gym for his new fuchsia gym shorts then shoot down the young gay guy you see with a pink purse. And it doesn’t matter who’s better between Madonna and Lady Gaga WE CAN’T FUCKING GET MARRIED!
Because we are not united. The gay “Community” isn’t equal or just inside itself.
More gay teens try killing themselves not because of the “Straight” people. But because another gay person said or did something to them. The fact that people who are JUST LIKE THEM. Won’t give them the time of day. And then reject them based on superficiality.
We are Brothers and Sisters in arms. Fighting for the basic human right of love and all you and your local bar do is fight about who was the best drag queen.
Put your equality where your mouth is and start loving ALL people. Not just the ones you deem attractive. Race, weight, age…. None of that matters.
So stop your hate. Quiet your disrespect and silence your judging. We are all the same fighting for the same thing and NOTHING will change until WE as the “Pseudo-Sexualities” untie under our flag and treat each other like the family we truly are.
You are all awesome and beautiful. In our lifetime we are going to see Gay Marriage. But lets not stop there.
Equal Love for Equal Lives.
Drake aka Crayak