7 Aug 2013

Fantasy : Fetishes And Sex

Category: Fantasy

Let me start out by saying I am pretty basic when it comes to sex, fucking, sucking, kissing, rimming etc.  Now that’s not to say I haven’t tried other things,  some I have liked, some I would like to try again and others will remain a memory.  For me it’s a trust thing.  

Let’s say I meet someone on A4A and we get to talking.  He sees I have misc. fetishes in my profile and asks what that’s about.  I tell him I’m into [insert fetish here].  He says that’s hot and wants to hook up.  Now, having just met him, do I let this total stranger come over and [insert misc. act here] or do I tell him that I’d rather meet up at a public place so we can see if there is a connection.

So that’s my question to you,  if you are into [insert fetish here] do you let a potential partner you just met online do this with you or do you meet up a couple times to build a trust level. Obviously, some fetishes are more complicated than others and require a level of trust and some knowledge of what you are doing while others don’t need much thought.

Comments? Thoughts?

g skorich AKA eastvalley

39 comments for Fantasy : Fetishes And Sex

  • I’m pretty much into the mild fetish activities like handcuffing someone to my bed and having my way with him.

    I don’t do pain, blood or fisting. I just don’t like the idea of sticking my hand up some guys rear. It is so gross when feeling the man’s inside.

    The most extreme I have done with a guy is holding his dick as he pees in the komode.

  • This depends on the act and your comfort level.

    I think fetishes raise the red flag on a first meeting – they generally don’t involve anything resembling safe sex. I’d be really reluctant to get into it on a first meeting.

    After the first meeting if you have a comfort level with each other, go for it!

  • I’m just gay, so fucking and sucking is all I’m about, no perversions like rimming, sucking feet, scat etc., for me, nor anyone I care to be with. Those things aren’t gay, they are psychological quirks done by as many straights as gays.

    I always meet a perspective sex partner in public a couple of times first while I have plenty of sex partners I do trust to have sex with in the meantime.

    Luckily I have never been that desperate to get my rocks off that I would do anything with anyone (no matter what they look like) without knowing something about them first, going by what I see in person, not text in their profiles.

  • Good luck with the trust issues, it takes just one wrong guy to screw up your life for a moment of dangerous exciting sex games.

  • Think about it this way. Some things you do that you consider normal while having sex, may be a fetish to someone else.

  • I enjoy a bondage fetish, but absolutely have some discussion before I invite someone over. There’s a lot to sort out with someone you don’t know before you both agree to move forward. And of course you sometimes get the “endless emails” complaint (often after only 2 or 3) but it’s more important we both feel comfortable going forward and have a “sense” of each other. And discussion can be an aphrodisiac as well.

    My stock response to the endless email finger-pointers is usually “impatient in conversation, inpatient in bed”. Does anyone really want that?

  • My fetish is very dark pubic hair , almost black pubic hair . Black pubic hair is better . And smell all any type armpits hair less or hairy either one . When I saw dark pubic hair really turn me on ;-)

  • How soon we get into whatever depends on what that whatever is, and how comfortable we are together. However, this is why I remove misc fetishes from my profile. I assume every sex partner of mine will have at least one fetish or kink. Guys usually seem to have some fetish, and especially with us gays and bis being really in tune with our sexuality (it set us apart early on, so we seem to become introspective about it), we acknowledge it pretty easily. Not to mention we’ve announced to the world we like dick, so expressing how we enjoy it to those dick-havers is easy. (And if you haven’t made that announcement, any fetish will be irrelevant, since I wouldn’t be touching you.)

  • I agree with you. I would like to believe other guys who are into misc activities would just meet in a public place and see if there is a connection first?
    I find in that kind of sexual activity there should be some sort of trust involved in it?
    Everybody is different though. Some may like just doing it rith then and there? And others may want to meet first before doing it.

  • Personally festish should be discuss in a space that is confortable …public would be a good start ..although i entertained someone at my house an i told them about my fetishes..agin it all about convo and gut feeling …if not sure dont do it ..get to know him first..

  • I love slurp sperm all men . Urine smell also . When they start shoot cum in my mouth and when I smell urine so much turn me on and make my d*ck get hard

  • I’d say, its all about the chemistry. The aura, presence and demeanor of someone might make a fetish such as water-sport..a multiple orgasm activity.

  • Depends on the fetish. I won’t let a guy I just met restrain me in anyway. Last thing I want is to be tied down only to find out he has a live of guys waiting to use me or he might rob me beat me and leave me for dead. But other fetishes like leather spanking I’m okay. I was with a guy a few times that liked you to grab his nut a punch them as hard as you could repeatedly while he jacked off. So it all depends on the fetish. I have 4 FWB that I would trust with anything. But the occasion hook ups I don’t trust

  • If you were not into any fetishes at all and met someone online, would you invite them over for sex immediately or want to meet someplace public, maybe more than once, to see if there is a connection. Most men agree that, if you want sex as just sex, you don’t need connection. You just need attraction. It doesn’t matter whether you have fetishes or not. But if you want connection, then you meet a few times and see if you have one. And it still doesn’t matter whether you have fetishes or not.

  • i like anon sex, so its all about meeting strangers and taking total advantage of their wants and needs

  • Being into a serious fetish so I always meet somewhere first. This is for both of our trust levels and also to see if there is really a connection. I’m usually the top in my scene so I want to make sure the other guy is comfortable.

    Even just meeting for non-fetish sex – I like to meet out first.

    95% of the time there is a connection. It is worth the time to avoid the other 5%

  • Well I guess a trust level must be reached before fetishes are tried. I wish guys were more open to try new things and be more considerate of those who are not looking for sex. But apparently as long both have sex without the trust being established, that’s ok and fine. To me that is backwards. Rust must be reached with both parties regardless if it is sex or fetish. It’s only fair, right?

  • I never thought i had any fetishes till i met someone who enjoyed having his nipples played with. Just touching them made him almost orgasmic. I think if a certain thing that really floats your boat, that can turn into a fetish. It’s really not a bad thing, to like something done to you, or you get off on doing something nasty or kinky for a man. All you have to do is ask for what you want, i’am sure there is someone who’s into it.

  • “fetish” is a rather broad category… how can you even know what someone is into unless you discuss it?

    I don’t really think I have anything that would be considered a fetish by definition… but to each his own I guess.

    In this discussion, this is the definition:

    Fetish: an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

    Nope, none of that here.

  • i love mens bare feet i get a boner lookin at sexy bare feet i lick cum off the toes and the men moan in delight any guys wanna try let me know im a pro

  • I began meeting others who were intrigued, if not in-tuned, with my fetishes, at the rise of the AOL and Yahoo! chats, and I have yet to meet anyone I was afraid of, or questioned. Though, my fetishes include some pretty intense scenarios, a level of trust is ALWAYS built prior to the actual meet. I am honored to say that some of the guys I have met- who still like tying me up, ripping my clothes, and abusing me- are my friends. Of course, there is always a risk factor when you meet someone online for the first time. One rule of thumb- if the meeting does not take place at your residence, or somewhere you are not familiar of, then make sure you scope out all other exits in case things get out of control. If the fetish scenario is really intense, then be sure all parties agree on a safe word. Getting to know someone online is not all that bad, nor is it all that risky. Most gay men are passive anyway, even if they are a bit brutal while playing :)

  • When I first entered the world of gay sex, I thought I had very bland fetishes. They were quite ordinary, and I seldom got to do them. Then I met this couple on a hookup site, and after a phone conversation with the dominant, I drove to their house. And wouldn’t you know that at the first meeting, he brought out his toys!
    Scared me a little. I wondered what I had got myself into, and having no experience with dildos, I worried I wouldn’t be good enough. However it was all very safe and educational, and with repeat visits, I got to explore the gamut of sex games and activities. Really worth the experience because it helped me figure out what I like and what I don’t like. Now when I do “misc fetish”, I show my portfolio to my prospectives and go from there, so whatever they think they want to do, I can say “Oh yeah, I’m experienced at that.”
    And it’s nice to know what I’m doing. Beats not having a clue when staring at that gaping hole with a rubber glove and a tub of Crisco at your feet…

  • As you can probably tell by my handle I am into enemas. However, they appear to be a long lost fetish from decades ago. Would love to keep it alive with the new generation but have had zero luck with it.

    Obviously, this fetish does require a mutual comfort-level and would not be something I’d partake in during the 1st meeting.

  • It depends on the fetish, I would NEVER allow myself to be restrained by someone I’ve never met. I’d have to know someone over a period of time before that would happen. I can’t for the life of me, understand how on earth people just throw caution to the wind like that. I just have foot fetish, clean only, can’t go wrong there.

  • I have fetishes but none that I’m willing to admit to esp. On the first date. Nothing tho that can get me or anyone else in trouble.
    I would like to find someone that was into the same as me but that is difficult.
    I would like to find just ONE normal DEDICATED responsible gay guy on this site but has proven difficult. They just say and do all the WRONG things. Getting back to fetishes if you have one and don’t want to talk about it and its a huge secret don’t put it in your profile that you have one!!! Just sayin!

  • I love to be surprised in the room im submissive so i like to be handle by a aggressive creative booty fetish top

  • I’m honest up front about my fetishes and need a guy to be into it. Love having sex in basketball shorts, jerseys, wife beaters, under armour, other gear. If a guy isn’t into it, it won’t work

  • according to Webster’s, a fetish is:

    c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.

    think most of the above are just preferences, not “must have” fetishes

  • I have a fetish and tell any guy that wants to get together about it before we meet… Mine is simple,,, I love a guy that wears jeans and leather boots… or knee rubber boots for me and love him to take them off and put one over my face for me to smell and taste while he fucks me if he does…I love the smell of leather boots fresh off his feet…thats not too quirky I dont think… other leather is o k,, but give me the old dirty worn boots and im ready for it…..

  • The only fetish I have is a foot fetish.. I love playing footsies. I won’t smell or lick feet that’s kinda of nasty for me, but I love the way another man’s feet feels against mine. Especially twink feet.. ugh, so smooth and warm. But again, just my opinion.

  • What is fetish? Wikipedia defines “sexual fetishism” as “Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation.” Therefore, if I enjoy situation where I simply engage in the standard gay practice of mutual masturbation, fellatio, and sodomy…I have a fetish…hmmm?

  • Oh…btw fellas! Being gay is considered a fetish! Therefore, embrace your fetish!! ;)

  • I will never just invite someone over. I had a friend that did that and the first time got badly beaten, robbed and raped….Sexy mens feet and hot underware / jocks are my favorite, but you will never get an invite to my place till we have met in public ( my favorite bar ) and at least 1 friend sees me with you

  • just do it and if he don’t like it, he can leave

  • Here is what I say no matter what you and this guy are planning you meet up a few times before doing anything sexual with him you need to know the person and what you are getting yourself into this guy could be a complete looney toon or there just for another gay bashing believe it or not guys it still happens so I would say use your head and be careful no matter what the situation is

  • I am into fetishes but a friend was recently studio enough to let a guy cuff him to the bed rails and the guy was a first time meet from a4a. The guy proceeded to spank him but then he lubed him up and went in raw my friend struggled and begged for him not to this however seemed to be a turn on for the guy he fucked him raw came in him twice. My friend was a mess afterwards he cried all through it and after it it he is a mess all now

  • Remove my full name on the above comment

  • My profile pretty much says what I mean. BJ’s to go! Oral only. But 1/2 the time they always say next time can you fuck me or can I fuck you. Sorry, Oral is my “hobby” right now. It’s what I like and what I want to do. Only twice did I follow up letting a guy sit and ride my cock. But my direction was only if he was facing me and jerking his cock til he came all over my face. Sometimes I don’t even care about cumming myself. I get off on watching a guy cum with his cock in my mouth. Cock and cum get me hard.

  • I am like you Swirly, I love sucking cock. I tell the men and it is in my profile oral, and I tell them no anal, but they always want to fuck me. I too love when a man cums in my mouth/throat. I don’t want recip from the men I suck. But, that is hard for some men to understand. I get off sucking his cock for a long time and then let him cum where he pleases. Hairy is my fetish. I love hairy men.

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