20 Dec 2013

Watch This : The Explanation Why Straight Men Have Gay Sex

Category: Watch this !

In my yesterday’s post, I got many comments about some guys that were mad at me for hooking up with straight or married men. In this video above (that one of our member sent me) there is a clear explanation from a psychologist why straight men sometimes are curious about having sex with another man, whether this man is gay or not. They are not necessarily gay because they have 1 experience like some of you might think.

Watch this video and let me know your thoughts.

Dave

86 comments for Watch This : The Explanation Why Straight Men Have Gay Sex

  • I guess I am all out of excuses to give gay sex a try.

  • Dave,
    The reason why so many people attacked you yesterday was not the fact the other guy was ” straight”, to an extent is was, but the main reason was because he was married.. Instead of you stopping and thinking and be like oh wait he’s married, I better leave him alone. You the the total opposite. You thought with you penis, basically said screw the fact that he’s married and convinced him to jack off with you. Now this may sound harsh but I don’t sugar coat nothing… I personally don’t know you but if I heard that you hooked with a married man, IN MY EYES you nothing but a cheater, scum, or the dirt I walk on(yes that includes those in open relationships, dping 3somes/group sex).. Yes i said that. It shows the lack of respect you have for yourself, his wife, the marriage. Not to mention that you played right into the negative stereotypes of gay men. By your actions yesterday you made good, honest men like me look bad and trashy.

  • He is 100% right. Now I don’t feel so alone.

  • My experience with married straight men has been that their wives do not like to perform oral sex on them. Where as gay men have no problem with oral sex. All men like to have their penis sucked. And if their wife is not doing it for them, they are getting it somewhere else. More than likely from a gay man.

  • This Video Is So True. I Am A Gay White Male 46 Years Old 5’10″ and weigh 335 lbs. Even At My Heaviest weight of 489lbs I was Having Lots Of Safe Sex With Married Men. I Mean, Very Hot Stud Type Married Men with Hot Wives. I Found Out That After Most Women Walk Down The Isle They Feel That They Have The Ring So They Never Have To Give Another Blow Job Again. Guys Also Feel That A Blow Job Is Not Sex Or Cheating. ( If President Clinton Could Say That Why Not Them ) Married Guys Also Try To Just Stand Still And let The Blow Job Happen. No Touching Of The Head And Some Times I Have To Undo The Pants And Pull Them Down. I will Admit I Hook Up With 3 to 5 Married Guys A Week. Something Less but Most Of The Times More. Yes, I Do Place AD’s On Craigslist and Other Gay Web Sites. Or They Find Out About My Oral Skills From Friends or Co-Workers That Have Stopped By For Service. Let’s Be Honest Guys Just Like To Have Lots Of Sex Or At Least Most Of Them Do.

  • simple—”st8″ men as well as gay or otherwise are horny as hell and want to get off and if only another man is at the right place at the right time…

  • Dave to me the issue isn’t with sleeping with a straight male. Its all of this hype for sleeping with a married man. If you do it knowing that they are in a committed relationship how can so many guys be ok with that. Plenty of guys work so hard to find a healthy relationship just for people to disregard it. You knowingly partake in someones deceit. On top of that it gives such a negative connotation about the gay community that we have no morals or boundaries. Helping a straight man explore his sexuality is one thing, but exploiting a married mans curiosity for your own satisfaction is just not something I will ever be ok with.

  • Because we are gay men living behind a facade of a straight guy.
    Got married, had kids. Didn’t want the stigma that came with being gay
    In the 1980′s time frame.

  • I agree. Men are getting curious about being with another man. Some of them are not getting anything at home so they will look to a guy for a quick hook-up. With another woman there could be problems with her going to the wife. There feelings get involved When it comes to oral sex some women don’t do it or do it well. Guys know guys can do it better (so they have heard). I think the so called straight guys that are curious should experiment. Many of them get married and down the road end up getting divorced because they are not really happy in their straight life. They think their feelings will go away if they get married but down the road they start looking. They experimented when younger and liked it

  • They have sex for all the reasons the Doc mentions ….and because they are horny! And because they like to have their dicks sucked. And if they are fucking pussy, they can’t be THAT gay!

  • I can’t believe you posted this. Another lackluster attempt. #kathygriffinslowclap

  • Its all about being in the right moment at the right time, I’ve been fuck by some straight guys.

  • Come on now. There may exceptions but most likely these men are gay. Who are we fooling here? And a married man looking for sex on craigslist hookup ads are a concern to the wife no matter if it is a man or woman he’s interested in.

  • Joe Kort is a psychotherapist, who is gay. He will spin the why straight men have gay sex thing 180 degrees both ways. It is his professional selling point to do this. I have friends who are gay (Ok call it bisexual), who are married to women. When I write a list of all my friends that I know are gay that are married to women the character to stands out the most is their strict Christian upbringing and active participation in church, church groups and church activities. Yet I am talking to at least one of them every two weeks telling them that you made your bed now you have to lay in it and deal with the fact that you brought children into this world so you need to ensure that they are happy and stick it out no matter the fact that you want to jump into bed with a man. Having children change everything and I don’t care how unhappy my friends are, the most important thing is that their children should not be unhappy because daddy wants to suck dick.

    So all this explanation about why straight men have gay sex…. if you are straight you would not be having gay sex. We can’t have it both ways…. because then being gay becomes a choice and not who we are as individuals.

  • I have always wondered about why I fantasize about cock but prefer women. The beach example is perfect. Its so great because I wonder where this attraction to cock comes from but in all aspects like relationships, the beach, porn and sex I think about women. I guess it is ok to love women and cock at the same time.

  • It doesn’t really matter what this quack says. You will continue running around with married men (Gay or straight) and don’t care if you ruin a family, mess up their lives, or fuck up their kids lives. Hell, you probably wouldn’t care, if the dude said ”lets fuck on my sons bed”. But you are a blogger for a4a and this place isn’t really a place where people have morals.

    You and other guys on here pride on sleeping with married men. And ”straight” men and probably underage and young guys too. This is just the type of place a4a is if you stay here more than a few days.

    A blogger for a4a having no morals is as shocking as the dude from Duck Dynasty not caring for homosexuality.

  • This troubles me because it’s not evidence that straights can be curious and still be straight. It’s evidence that more people are bisexual than are willing to admit.

  • Im very interested. Im a married man with kids. I love my wife and would never leave her for anybody! Yet i only watch gay porn. My fantasies are of men. Yes she knows all of this cause i don’t keep secrets from her.I want to be normal but i crave big cock and muscles like women crave chocolate. What’s my deal??

  • I’ve hooked up with a few married men, and from my experience, I think what they like is the taboo of messing with a guy when already involved with a woman. Typically they will want you to be the female role sexually so they won’t like reciprocating, so the sex itself isn’t that different (assuming they have oral/anal with their wives, which I’m sure most do). The marriage factor makes the “naughtiness” level of having sex with a guy higher than it would be for other men, gay or straight. And naughtiness leads to horniness (usually).

  • So where’s the explanation??

  • Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

  • I don’t think you need to ‘explore’, and expose, everyone’s interests, curiosities and tendencies…then classify them or sensationalize them.
    It’s tedious. It’s nosey. It invites gossip.
    We are all different. Just leave it that.
    My thoughts.
    cheers.

  • The ONLY REASON why a straight guy would have any sort of gay sex is because he is NOT STRAIGHT…i dont even understand why this is even a topic..i mean ive read where str8 guys do gay porn for big bucks,but if they were TRULY heterosexual,they would never do it..end of discussiob

  • No, they aren’t necessarily homosexual. Many of them were touched in their youth and feel they have to recklessly act out the very thing that harmed them.

    It’s also an ego thing, having another man submit to you; gives a false sense of power.

    The reasons stated aren’t necessarily objective; some men are homosexual but repress their sexuality to fit in with the majority as to not deal with the prejudice, discrimination or because of whatever idea they were conditioned to believe about homosexuality.

    I live in the inner city; many of the guys that have hit on my have wives and girlfriends and are sure to hit on me when no one is looking (for the record, I dismiss them as I like unattached thoroughly homosexual men); they have awful opinions of gay men, yet there seems to always be an exception that they try to sexually pursue.

  • There really is no ‘good reason’ to be party to a ‘straight’ man that wants anything to do, sexually, with another man.

    The example of a married man: Either his relationship is disfunctional, in which case you are adding to it by enabling him to cheat on his spouse, or (according to this video) is re-enacting sexual abuse from his youth. Neither are bound to leave you feeling like you’ve done him a lick of good.

    Even if he is after casual, NSA, ‘hit it and quit it’ sex…still, can’t leave you feeling very good about yourself, can it? To know someone doesn’t really view you as a person, but as a ‘thing.’ a glorified fleshlight. At best, it’s risky to have sex with someone that is completely unconcerned with your safety or well being.

    The best case scenario in this is if you stumble upon a single ‘curious’ or ‘bi-curious’ man. In which case, you now get to be his grand experiment. He doesn’t honestly want you, he wants the novelty of you. You are his sexual disneyland. A brief excitement. A footnote in his memoirs.

    And if you’re comfortable with that, fine. I personally think I’m worth more than what I can do in bed, but maybe I’m just unique. I just happen to think that a few blissful moments of involuntary muscular contractions are cheap, and my self-respect isn’t.

  • That was the same tired BS stuff i hear everyday from people.

    ****Newsflash****
    If you sleep with men you gay, not bi(that doesn’t exist to me), or straight. YOU 100% ABSOLUTELY GAY!!

    Another thing. I have to agree with Seth and his comment on this but i will add something else to his remark..
    1. Marriage is not just a piece of paper.
    2. Why would you disrespect another person’s relationship & degrade yourself at the same time just for 15 mins with a married guy?
    3. Open marriages/relationships are nothing but breeding grounds for STD’s & divorces/ broken relationships.
    4. A4A is not a hook up site.. Do a search on google, bing or ask.com. Its a dating site, just cause you use it for meaningless sex does not mean we all do.
    5. Lastly, why would I or any respectable man what to have sex with some married guy/ open relationship person? If you in that situation where you have to bring other people into your sex life, to me that means the sex with you suck, point blank.

    What that guy said in the video is BS (again).. Same lame excuses closeted gays give every single day. In order to move forward we as a community need to stop thinking with our dicks and start using our heads that are on our shoulders. Until you start loving yourself, being honest with yourself, and stop with your labels, we as a community cannot move forward.

  • Seth: for me marriage is not important. But that’s me. I am willing to fight for my gay friends who want to get married though. And if jerk off with a married man (whether it is a fantasy or the reality) it’s because I like it, and he does like it as well. So the blame shouldn’t be just me. He is equally responsible for his act and he was curious to try. And FYI I didn’t tell you if he has an agreement with his wife that allows him to have sex with guys… I’ve met straight/bi whatever u call them, and their wife didn’t have them to have sex with girls, but only with men, because it would be pure sex and no “date”
    Anyways, I understand where u are coming from, the only difference is that people perceive things differently, and that’s why you have to be open about it.

  • The real issue here why “straight” men have “gay” sex. The issue (problem) is the insistance on polarity by those who use those labels. “Straight” men MUST only have sex with women; “gay” men MUST only have sex with men. Sexuality, like many other human factors, isn’t polar, clean cut, or black and white. In hair color, some guys are blond, some dirty blond, some brown … all on a spectrum. In sexuality, some guys prefer sex exclusively with women, some with men or woman, and others with men only. The issue isn’t who’s having sex with who. It’s polarity and labeling.

  • Come on now guys. This is the same Dave who showed a lack of respect for monogamous GAY relationships and used similar arguments to try rationalizing helping gay men step out the boundaries of those relationships. So is anyone really that surprised he has no respect for the women on the other side of straight ones or the children who might be result of those relationships? It’s that same blase ‘I don’t care as long as I get my own horny wants met’ attitude that gives the bigots out there ammunition to keep trying to put anti-gay laws in effect against us and continues to make it harder for those of us who want to build our own stable relationships and by extension for those who desire to have children, stable families.

    And I’m sorry Dave, but the whole ‘I’m not the only one to blame’ excuse is a cop out to keep from taking ownership of knowingly and willingly taking part in such off base, questionable behavior. I mean, let’s get real here. No one is saying the married or otherwise already attached man is blameless. But just because he has no respect for his relationship doesn’t mean you have to make yourself a willing participant in his foolishness. Just because these guys say their wives, boyfriends, husbands, etc. made an agreement doesn’t make it true. These guys can and do lie about that. And even if they are telling the truth about it, it DOES NOT make it right especially if children are involved. It just shows these guys will readily take advantage of a partner’s lack of self esteem that they deserve and can find a partner who has finally grown up and will put in the work and effort required to make a stable relationship work. Yes we’re adults free to make our own choices, and it’s true that gay men do and will have their fun. However, the more grown up among us get to a point where we realize that choices do have consequences and that it’s better to leave the NSA stuff for when you’re single and not in a relationship or marriage. So make whatever choices you will, but how about you grow up and realize your choices still have consequences and that not everyone wants the lines between the playing that you do when you’re single and actually building healthy, stable relationships blurred and muddied. If you can’t own up to the consequences of your actions and choices, and the negative responses are part of those consequences, then maybe you shouldn’t share them so freely.

  • First, I think all of these responses go to show how difficult it is to define sexuality. The gay/straight debate to me is more about what sex you are more likely to find an emotional connection with. In other words fall in love with. Sex and love should be kept separate. The fact that a straight male can have sex with another male is more about what makes us horny than it is sexual preference. With the internet and a society that is becoming more open, sex is truly in the midst of a revolution. It would be interesting to see how many more high school and college guys are hooking up with each other just for the sake of sex. I bet the number would be shockingly high.

    Also, with gay sex, no one accidentally gets pregnant.

  • Jay in Chicago : I understand your point, but my opinion is different. And I don’t understand why you associate that with anti-gay laws, wow!
    You think straight people don’t fuck around and have open relationships or don’t cheat sometimes? Of course they do…and it’s their problem.

  • Straight guys will tell me that they will have oral sex with their wives, but the wives won’t suck their cocks, or if they will, they don’t really know how to please a man orally. So, they seek out a gay who knows how to please. I have been doing a married man for about twenty years now. On Saturday mornings when his wife is out grocery shopping, he comes to me for oral pleasures he cannot get at home. Of course, I am always happy to oblige him.

  • *yawn* This whole issue was pretty much explained by Alfred Kinsey’s research many, many years ago. Check it out.

  • @Antonio and his opinion of bisexuality: Too bad objectivity doesn’t agree with you.

    Saying that bi doesn’t exist is the equivalent of saying homosexuality doesn’t actually exist; furthering the backwater idea that homosexuality is a deliberate sin against God and that we all choose to be gay as an act against nature.

    We can’t move forward as a people by pretending certain parties don’t exist.

    Pro-tip: Nature isn’t uniform; some people are born hetero, some are born homo, some are born bi, some are born asexual and some are born omnisexual; that’s just the way things are and have always been.

    While I don’t understand why anyone would pride themselves on sleeping with a married or otherwise emotionally unattainable guy, I don’t believe they’d be at fault for choosing to sex with him; especially if he’s the one who is married (it’s his responsibility, not the gay man he has sex with).

    Random chain of thought:
    I’ve known three guys that have all acknowledged to me that they were touched in their youth by older men (usually family members or friends of the family) and they seem to reveal this personal info with me on the 1st date.

    They claim to be homosexual and actively pursue homosexual relationships but their never seems to be a sexual attraction to the guys they choose to sleep with; it seems that they’re psychologically stuck in a circle, acting out only what they’ve experience rather than what they truly desire and feel.

  • Don’t blame Dave for playing with another man….married or not, the man is a man

    Instead, blame the married man!!!! Dave’s not the cheater or the slut bucket,….the MARRIED MAN is!!!!

    Geez guys get the priorities correct here

  • Oh, the lengths people will go to in order to justify their sex drive.

    If you’re not too classy to be the ‘other woman’ then by all means, keep on slaking your lust with whatever warm body you can find. In the end, it really says more about your self-worth than it does about the politics of sex.

    Sure, a lot of guys online say they have an ‘arrangement’ with their significant other. A lot of guys say they’re HIV negative too, but does that mean you bareback every tom’s hairy dick?

    For that matter, how do you even know they’re ‘straight’? The line “I’ve never done this with a man before” is right up there with “He’s not gay, he’s in a fraternity” or “stop, it’s too big!” For all you know, Mr. ‘straight’ could be the biggest, gayest slut on the face of this god-forsaken rock and it’s just all part of his game to get yet another notch in his bedpost.

    This is all just one big delusion that insecure people use to feel better about themselves. “Look, normal people want me too, not just the freaks like me.”

    Maybe cancel a few online subscriptions and put it towards a good analyst.

  • “hetro-flexible”?! That’s a new one.

  • If you don’t get that fucking with some straight woman’s man is part of the motivation these folks have used they’ve used for those laws against us then you haven’t been paying attention to what’s been going on. Where do you think the whole gay people are destroying the family fabric nonsense in this country and in other countries came from? They look at some gay men such as yourself being all too willing to think with their hormones and screw around with married men simply assume that stereotype is true of all gay men. And did I say there aren’t straight folks who cheat or fuck around? No. So let’s not pull that detail out as a means to deflect attention away from your own responsibility for your own individual behavior.

  • Finally! The video that opens up people to see that human sexuality isn’t as black and white as they would like it to be. I really hope people take those points and stop trying to label in clear definitions. There is always a grey area.

    It makes me happy that I have been telling people this for a long time. YAY!

  • ”For that matter, how do you even know they’re ‘straight’? The line “I’ve never done this with a man before” is right up there with “He’s not gay, he’s in a fraternity” or “stop, it’s too big!” For all you know, Mr. ‘straight’ could be the biggest, gayest slut on the face of this god-forsaken rock and it’s just all part of his game to get yet another notch in his bedpost”

    THIS RIGHT FUCKING HERE. Guys here lie like it’s a religion. So, there’s no telling if he is full of shit. Hell, i think some guys will say there ”married” or ”straight” when there not. Just for a fetsih… that is how pathetic some people will go with it.

    Men can say there in an open relationship, not gay. ”never done this before”. But half the time it’s probably bullshit. Come on i’m 23 and know that! you older guys i would figure could get hip to that fact by now.

  • I don’t care how you slice it, dice it, puree it, if a man has sex with another man he is gay. And one experience especially if he likes it usually leads to another and another. A straight man as we know it will shudder at the thought of sex with other men. It’s not possible in their world. A man who wants to or has thoughts of or does have sex with men has had to fantasized about it and now carries that fantasy out. These are gay traits and should not be labeled as any different than gay sex..sinple.

  • As a married man, I find Kort’s article quite enlightening. While there are many intelligent and thoughtful responses here, I think it is important to remember that there are many shades of gray in human thought and behavior. If any of you were from the same genetic makeup as me, and were raised exactly the same as me, then you could make an accurate statement about why I do what I do, or think the way I think, or have the attractions that I have. Some aren’t even aware of these things about themselves. In the end, I think it makes sense to keep one’s mind open about all the possible explanations for thought, behavior, etc.

  • Opinions are like assholes – everybody has one. And boy are there some assholes here.

    First off A marriage is a commitment between two people and it is defined by the parameters that they set within their marrage The only two people that have a commitment / ANY stake in that union are the ones that are married. If Hubby wanted to jack off with another dude… What is the big fucking deal? it’s not liek actual sex happened. I could be more bothered if our hero pinned the “straight married” dude down and had his way with him. that didn’t happen. So get over it.

    The bottom line is that whether you believe in ANY marriage or not, Sex and Love are two different and distinct thingI don’t know how many circle jerks i have had over the years – in school, college , in late night parks gyms or truck stop rest rooms… Just because i was getting off, doesn’t mean i loved the man in the body next to me.

    It take a lot to earn the things from me that constitute love. Love is seperate and apart from relieving some tension. and simple truth guys… if a man has a chance ot get off, 9 times out of 10 he is gonna take it. Wife hate giving head? he’s gonna find a faggot or a hooker to slob his know. Wife suddenly don’t wanna fuck you anymore… MOSt men are gonna find something war wet and alive to stick his prong into.

    and you know what? This “Judea Christian Protestant-catholic “Western” way of viewing the world… – you know , the one “true “way” to view anything because all other ways that are much older and experienced are disgusting” attitude that many of you have makes you nothing more than hypocrites. Just because you got married… no matter WHO you married…. you didn’t go blind… you’re not dwad, and your dick… its gonna get hard for other people- besides the one you said “till deat us do part” to…

    grow up, put your big boi panties on… and get a life.

  • Jay many guys and girls in hetero couples have different limits in their relationships. Some even let the other sleep with others. This is not your business.
    I have no idea what’s the relationship with his girl, I don’t give a fuck!
    If he accept to jerk off or sleep with me, I assume that he is responsible for his act.

  • EXACTLY you don’t give a fuck. I really think you would be ok with some crazy shit. You would probably jack off with him, in his house, on his kids bed. And you wouldn’t feel remorse cause that’s the type of person you are.

    You probably have no problems sleeping with guys in relationship with men either. What if the guy told you ”yeah brah I’m in an open relationship” and his partner comes to you heartbroken and wants to whoop your ass? his guy was probably full of shit and didn’t care about his partners feelings.

    If karma comes to bite you… and one of the men or women come back to do you harm for fucking with their partners. You deserve it.

  • It’s because not even straight men want to eat the same thing for dinner every night…I mean c’mon! I don’t blame them either!!

  • When a man comes to my door I don’t care if they are str8 gay or whatever as long as they know what they want. The majority of men I meet are str8 married with kids, I don’t specifically go after them but they are specifically looking for me and my ass. It’s amazing how many want to fuck bare back, just don’t understand that to take the chance of bringing something home to the wife and kids is beyond me. The upside of it is I am very very masculine and can fuck just as well as I can get fucked that once they see how they can fuck me I would say 3 out of 4 want me to try and fuck them, now some of these str8 want it bareback as well, makes no sense but with some of the most gorgeous str8 bubble butts presents themselves and you know in your heart you will be the first one in there I might bareback if I cant find a condom fast enought lol and my last test was negative. and at my advanced age and fucking for multiple decades, you can tell if someone has a virgin ass, hardly used, moderately used or is just a plain bottom boy

  • My therapist says you know you’re a sex addict when you start having sex w people who you’re not physically attracted to in order to get off. Seems logical. The straight guys just want a blow cause they’re addicts. So what does that make guys who give it to them?

  • Dave-Nice going bud! Like I said yesterday-you probably did the guy a huge favor-glad you looked up the references. Its pretty amazing to me that so many guys are so judgmental about hooking up with a married guy. If you both had fun and were safe then it was a decision between two consenting adults. No one else’s opinion matters. I find it hilarious that guys that have never been married themselves are so protective of the institution of marriage and all assume that that the married guy knew he was into guys before marriage. Your fans should also checkout the Kinsey Institute website on how sexual preferences can vary and fluctuate over a lifetime. Hang tough buddy!

  • I think the issue yesterday was not having sex with straight guys but having sex with married guys, that’s what upset people so much.

    Sexuality by itself is fluidic, whether male or female sexuality. Men are as curious as women in terms of wondering about an experience, thinking about the same sex, etc. It doesn’t bother me that straight men want to experiment or get curious. But if they’re married, that bothers a lot of people. I think some gay guys are always after the straight”trophy” and they set themselves up for failure because they hope it will turn into something but it never will. They don’t want a “gay” guy because they still believe on some level that it’s socially wrong or something, so if they got a straight guy, who is accepted by society…somehow this is better. But you know, they’re never going to really BE with you.

    So there’s a difference between being someone’s experiment and messing with someone’s marriage, I think that’s what people are saying.

  • Did you really post this?
    #kathygriffinslowclap

  • Well this video explain a lot of things to me, I never though I was into guys until I went to college, my first time was with my roommate, we came back from a party, anyways, I live str8 live, used to have a gf and mess around with my roommate, we did this for 2 years straight I felt so comfortable with him, cuz we trusted each other, he moved away and I started to look on cl, look at gay porn, my thing is I don’t have emotional feelings towards guys I just see guys as a sexual pleasure thing, and I don’t hook up with gay guys, only look for other str8 bicurious guys, that are single or have gfs,not into married guys. I’m str8 yes! sex is sex, sex with women more passionate and sex with guys is more aggressive and I like both, you can wrestle with guys, idk it’s hard to explain, probably many gay guys won’t understand this but there are a lot of guys like me out there.

    Bye

  • This video is a kindhearted attempt to even out the stress given to men not completely on the Gay side of the spectrum. I reach out my big arms to men all over the world struggling with living their truth. There is only one explanation for why people do anything sexually. It feels Great! You dont deserve an award for surppressing your desires and vice versa. All those that fold their arms and grumble “just come out”, mean well. But we all know its not simple. And in some places down right dangerous. I encourage every unmarried person to fully embrace and communicate their desires. Before they ruin some poor innocent childs life.

  • “If he accept to jerk off or sleep with me, I assume that he is responsible for his act.”
    And some gays just don’t understand why they don’t get respect.

  • Ok not my business yet you made it my and everybody else’s business when you posted this situation online. A priceless response if I ever heard one. You don’t get applauded for your behavior then all of a sudden it’s nobody’s business. As I said before, if you can’t take the heat when not everyone agrees with your behavior and doesn’t applaud your actions like you were hoping, then you shouldn’t broadcast it to everyone. So when one of these dude’s significant other, be it an angry wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or husband comes ready to whoop your ass because you want to play this ‘he’s responsible for his act’ bit, that won’t be any of our business either.

  • Example 1 – Got invited by guy who already had a girlfriend. But she refused to do some of the activities he liked. So I rimmed, fucked, fingered, fisted him.

    Example 2 – Guy’s wife and kids are in city 3 hours away, but his job is here, so he has an apartment for the week, goes home to family on weekends. Sometimes he wants some fun.

    Not for me to judge them, I’m just acting as a toy.

  • i love how the more and more we get accepted by mainstream society, the more pious and slut-shaming most gays become. I say leave that man alone and for ya’ll to stop judging and clutching at your pearls and purses.

  • I’m married. Met a guy online. He is good looking, popular, has a good job and a very good looking girlfriend. We both like to get together occasionally for “guy time”. Neither of us wants to change the status we have with our women. We have been seeing each other for a couple years. I have talked with several guys who are in similar situations or wish they were. Gay? Straight? or what?

  • It’s been a while since i’ve read any of joe kort’s books, but I’m pretty sure that ‘don’t have sex with heterosexually-identified man’ is pretty high up on all of his Ten Smart Things lists.

    And I know that ‘don’t have sex with anyone involved with anyone else’ is way up there too.

  • I saw this vid yesterday and said to myself…this comment section is gonna be good. Bwahahahaha!!!
    This doc dropped some true shit. Curiosity got me into this game and ‘satis-fuckin-faction’ has kept me in it. I’m addicted and I’m married. After trial and error, I only seek other DL/married dudes. Married or single, the common denominator is the person that has to bust a nut with another of the same sex. It is what it is.

  • @Dave, I think so many ppl are judging you becauseyou admitted he was skeptical, and said no, and made excuses sevral times yet u still pursude him, and “had to have him”, even after he said no. He did at least try to use his better judgement, and not violate his vows.

  • Tyson : U ok?

  • I hate to burst this gay fantasy but straight men definitely do not have gay sex do not have gay sex. Bisexual or closeted gay men might, but if a guy is really straight he definitely won’t have gay sex. I’m not sure why gay men dwell on this fantasy.

  • Im not gay, i just like sex with men… Was married, faithful,etc. Its sex, but i do have an issue with married, partnered men going outside the respects of that bond, unless they both participate…with that being said, i dont think men as a species are capable of a true monogamous relationship. We arent wired that way… Just my 2 cents worth…

  • Just as some of you want to play this ‘I love how the more gays are accepted in the mainstream the more pious and righteous gay people become’ nonsense, I love how the more we become accepted the more of you think it’s ok to throw away your sense of right and wrong and become sexually desperate, no moral having whores. As someone else above so correctly said, it’s too many single men out there who are ready and willing to go fucking around with these married and attached men as if they’re the fucking last men on earth. Of course a lot of you clowns will learn the hard way when you’re in your 50s, 60s and older and desperately alone, unable to find anybody willing to fuck with you because you burned all your bridges in your youth. I see it all the time among plenty of older gay dudes here in this city. They had that same I can do whatever the fuck I want as long as I get laid and bust a nut attitude when they were young and now they’re old and lonely because everybody picked up on what they were about and don’t want to have a damn thing to do with them.

  • I’m with Dave on this one. I have no qualms about sleeping with married or engaged men – married or engaged to men or women. I don’t actively seek out men in relationships (relationships as in engaged/married to men or women), but if things click, I will have sex with a man in a relationship. For me it’s not a fetish or a moral issue; if I’m horny and so is he and we can take care of each other, why not?

    Also, I agree with Sean. Most men who’re in relationships with women, seem to interested in bareback sex. I’m a slutty top and majority of the men I have barebacked have been married to women. I have been the “first” for a lot of these men. They seem to have lower inhibitions than a lot of self-identifying purely gay men.

  • @blog,

    You are to blame for or take respondsbility for atleast 90% of what happen. You continued to persuade him to jack off with you just so you can get your rocks off, even after you knew he was married. What does that say about you as a person, that you willing to have sex with a guy who is involved(whether married or not)? What you did was dead out wrong! Cheating is cheating no matter how you try to sugar coat it. He was not right either, but you (again) are responsible for 90% of what happen.. BTW thanks for making good, honest, decent, men like look unmoral, promiscious, non committed bastards by your actions. I appreciate the negative stereotype you portrayed that I fight everyday to break..

  • @ blog..
    what makes it right for any man to go behind his wife’s back and cheat (whether gay or str8)? You knew this man was married and still hook up with him, so what does this say about you as a person and about your morals? Your actions ( and everyone who has done it before) makes you look cheap, desperate, untrustworthy, among other things.. Your actions made the gay community look like we are a bunch of unmoral, unethical, homewreckers. Instead of promoting a positive image of us, you did the opposite and made me and every other decent gay man out there look and feel like shit.. The point is, you should never mess around with a guy thats taken/involved/married or however they wanna call it. Karma is going to get you back big time.. Next time think before you act.

  • Fascinating thread. What disturbs me the most is the gross oversimplification of human sexuality. If you like cock you are gay? Hogwash! Perhaps it is gay man’s truth to have passed through a period of calling themselves ‘bi’ as part of their development. This does NOT negate this reality for others. Sexuality exists on a continuum. Those who live within the shades of grey do not have it easy. That is what this thread is ultimately about. Be thankful if your world is black and white!

  • I believe everything he said was “dead on”. As a former married gay man the most commonly asked question I get is “How’d I get it up?” and the answer is “It was sex, and I’m a man”. Not that EVERY man will have sex with anyone, that is what the Kinsey scale explained many years ago. Unfortunately the Gay community is a label driven society, and we want to believe any man engaging in ANY kind of sex with another man is “gay”. The truth is in the video, we all KNOW men are hornier than women, so enjoy the sex without the labels, leave them for the grocery store!!!

  • I have been providing oral service to married men and guys whose gf’s won’t suck for over 15yrs, with and without my pvt GH.. They come to me for stress relief, NSA, discretion and know that there will not be judgement but encouragement to express what they desire sexually. These men need guys like myself to have on the side when they need that extra attention.

  • I think that the accusation that gay men are reinforcing a stereotype if they have sex with a married man should dropped. A gay man may choose not to have sex with a married man because they don’t feel right about it and not becuase they don’t want to reinforce a stereotype.
    Infidelity is infidelity no matter with whom.

  • Wow joe, way to be scientific. As another psychologist let me put in the two cents a psychologist should give. The idea of gay or straight is extremely new to humans. Sure men have been having sex w men since the beginning of time. This does not mean they are gay though. First, the idea of being gay is a social identity, it is the label and meaning we make out of same sex activity. Not all people are interested or feel this label speaks to them. Second, there is sound research that those we are sexually attracted to and those we fall in love w are different parts of the brain. A man can be sexually attracted to men but may only fall in love w women. Calling him bisexual usually suggests a stigmatizing idea he has not come to full terms w hi sexuality: not true. For you hooking up w men, ultimately it is his decision to engage in behavior, though you get to decide if it fits w your ethics/values. End message, don’t engage in judgment and bigotry that has been so harmful to you.

  • Slut shaming? No.

    If you want to be a slut, then by all means, be a slut. But even sluts can be selective about who they sleep with. Even sluts can have standards.

    The excuse “He makes his own decisions” is just an easy way to assuage your guilt over quite possibly being a home wrecker.

    And yes, as the gay community progresses, we mature emotionally. It’s what people do. Would you rather be stuck with a peter pan complex? Never serious, superficial and youth-obsessed? It’s a very exhausting thing to try and keep up that pace forever. And look at the advertising focused towards gay men: Boner pills, hair plugs, pos-t-vac and ‘singles hotlines.’ (Let’s not act like we don’t know what those really are. There’s a reason it’s a 1-900 number. Just sayin.) Society still views us as vain, superficial, promiscuous and desperate for approval.

    Let’s face it, we don’t exactly present evidence to the contrary when it’s a successful ad campaign.

    As for the issue of Sex Vs. Love.
    Where do I start? True, you can have one without the other. I’m not foolish enough to argue against that, and yes, I’ve had some pretty awesome sex just for the hell of it.
    Maybe it’s because I want something more out of life than one random encounter after another, but it always left me feeling a bit used. Not a feeling I enjoy.

    As I said before, if you want to be a slut, be a slut. The world needs more sluts. (The porn industry is the 3rd largest grossing in the US, by the way. They make more annually than Wal-Mart, Starbucks and McDonald’s combined. And they have a constant need for an influx of sluts.) But have some standards. Try showing just a moment of empathy for the significant other of your potential fuckbuddy. If your new trick indeed says he has an ‘arrangement’, I say make him prove it. And if you’re in a relationship with someone and you have one of those arrangements, maybe have the same thing in place so that other sluts can fuck your partner with a clear conscience. Don’t just take his word for it and expect him to ‘be responsible for his own actions.’ Speaking as someone who has been cheated on in the past, it takes two to tango and both are just as guilty. Take some steps, cover your ass, or don’t be surprised when your friends show surprisingly little sympathy when you get your tires slashed.

  • Who cares if he’s straight or not? Labels on sexuality are about as useful as nipples on a statue. The issue is knowingly hooking up with a married man. We, as “alternative sexualities,” want to be respected in the community while disregarding the moors and accepted social conventions of said community. Utterly ridiculous. Put your dick back in your pants, you scabies ridden hooker.

  • After reading the comments, I’m really discouraged by all the trash that truly believes infidelity is ok, either by encouraging it or participating in it. Flame me, call me judgemental, but the truth is exactly as I’ve presented it. You have no respect for your fellow man, you’re concerned only with you and what you want, and thus deserve the scorn, ridicule, and ostricism from those of us that do.

  • I love how, conveniently after a day of abuse, this guy suddenly has “an agreement” with his wife. You’re quite pathetic. You started this thread with brass and daring, but when it turned against you… Now you’re searching desperately for any excuse that won’t make you look like the cowardly, self absorbed sex addict you are.

  • jace : u are funny, I didnt say he had an agreement, I said ” what if he has an agreement…
    Im not a sex addict I actually very rarely have sex, as I prefer having sex with someone I find very hot, instead of having sex for having sex.
    And I love masturbation too:)

  • seth : lol, so dramatic

  • “Straight” men have gay sex for one reason… they’re not straight. Straight men don’t have gay sex; Bi men do.

  • This is a ‘HOOK UP” site for God sakes!! If you don’t want to hook up with someone because they’re married than don’t. Why else are ‘YOU” a member of this site. This is what is intended on sites like this. “Man Up!” What men choose to do whether married or not is their choice. Those of you complaining, bitching & bashing Dave’s choice to engage in sexual activities with a married man was consentual. This married man seeked out for affection from another man, gay, bi, or str8, married or single. If you feel that strongly about how morally wrong it is, that’s your choice & opinion. Obviously you have no idea what it’s like to be married, otherwise your married ass woudn’t be a member of this site. So you have no room to judge! Thank God there are guys like Dave who enjoy spending some time with a married man, I would think the gay community would want all the support they could get. The question should be, can those of you crying like little bitches handle a real man! A married man who’s not afraid of (a) pussy!

  • why do people use the word “SLEEP” with another person? i hate that! do we SLEEP with someone and have SEX at the same time? i think not. but then again i’m sure there are men that are asleep when sex is performed on them….doesn’t say much about the giver now does it …..

  • After reading all these comments i feel bad for Dave. I get why you are all mad but i have had my fair share of sex with straight men. They were all people i had known for a really long time and eventually the curiosity got to them and they could trust me.

    I will not say this guy doing what he did is Dave’s fault. The married guy had the ability to make his own decision, if it wasn’t Dave it would have been someone else.

    I believe the bigger issue is allowing men to feel comfortable expressing the need to experiment. Most women have a chance to do so. Most men do not until late in life. I believe that is the issue.

  • If you will give me the leisure of generalizing, wimmin are lousy at sucking dick, so a man might go out to seek what he desires.

    To some, its not sex if there is no penetration so mutual jerking off certainly doesn’t count. Some say blow jobs don’t count, and I tend to agree. Only if there is penetration is it sex, imo, and that of others. Not sure if I’m off topic in this regard.

    As far as being gay, it is how somebody identifies himself. A fellow may not identify as being gay, but if he fucks or gets fucked, he is certainly a MSM – a man who has sex with men.

  • There is nothing straight about gay sex. Even if it is only getting some head. You know that it’s a guy sucking you yet you are still able to get erect, maintain the erection, and have an orgasm. This may not mean they’re gay but they certainly do not qualify as heterosexual. Just my opinion…

  • i’m a str8/bi male…and i identify the theory explained in the video.
    in public, i constantly yet discreetly look at women and think of sex with them.
    and i never really look at men publicly in the same way.
    but i do have sex with men because it is easier and less complicated.
    hot both ways…but one is less involved.

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