9 Mar 2014

Speak Out : I Don’t Like Anal Sex

Category: Speak Out


Hi Guys, I hope you are enjoying your weekend so far! I received an email from one of our members and he wanted me to publish it on the blog. If you would like to submit a text, a blog post, a sex story, ask a question to other members etc, feel free to send me a note at blog at adam4adam dot com. See Shaun’s question below!

“It kind of feels like I’m the only one who is gay and not into anything anal.  Like all the other stuff, sucking, kissing, touching, masturbating but anal doesn’t turn me on at all.  Is there anyone else out there that feels the same way?


121 comments for Speak Out : I Don’t Like Anal Sex

  • Been told as far as anal goes I’m just not wired for it.

    Have tried it several times with good buds. None of them are hung like horses, things are taken slow, lubrication and condoms included. Sometimes there’s virtually no feeling to it. Sometimes it’s painful. If a good bud wants it, being a “team player” I’ll put up with it. I do enjoy hearing and seeing them work themselves up to cumming and the cool down that follows. Sometime I wonder, though, if anal is nothing more than creme brule or Starbucks … people get all raved up about them when actually they’re just not all that big a deal.

  • He is certainly NOT alone. I’m the same way. Had it plenty of times (always safe) by guys who were great at it, and guys who were not… but I came to the conclusion that I’m just not all that into it.

    I’m extremely hygienic, so the “prep time” takes a while. It ruins any spontaneity, and quite frankly can leave you sore for hours/days on end. Just not my thing. There’s other ways for gratification. I understand that that doesn’t work for everyone, but to each his own.

  • Even though I am older in age… I do not get turned on by anal either.. thank you for your comment because I was thinking the same thing. “Am I the only one feeling like this?”

  • No you are not the only one out there that does not care for anal sex but most guys out there anal is all they want.I prefer oral and anal is alright from time to time but I would not be upset if never had anal at all.Almost everyone I hear from wants to be fucked the first meeting.I will not fuck until after at least four hook ups so I can get to know the guy first.I moved to Ohio 17 months ago and have yet to hook up with anyone because I will not fuck the first meeting and mostly because I will not hook up with bottom or bottom vers guys.Feel for you because I,m nin the same boat.T

  • My experience with anal has been as a bottom. I did not like anal with my last boyfriend. His technique was piss poor, and sex was pretty unsatisfying. The thought of sex with him always made me tense. But my first sexual partner was always a good experience. I was young and eager for the experience. So I guess the moral of my story is a lot depends on what you go into it with.

  • I would venture to say that you’re not really gay then.

  • feeling the same pal in a world full of gay men that always want to fuck!!!!!

  • Hey Shaun~~ you’re NOT alone there, buddy! There are SO many guys ‘not into anal’, but with a caveat: Guys seem to be so fucking *desperate* that they’ll take ANYTHING these days.

    I only say this b/c I’m poz and only play safe, and have actually had guys ASK me to BB with them, which I won’t do.

    I’ve also been asked to “infect” guys which I’m incapable of doing since I’m on HIV medications since they’ve been available and have never had a “detectable viral load”.

    With the STD’s out there and the inability of gay men to be able to tell ANY truth when it comes down to brass tacks, I’ll just use my hand and call it a day…… ;))

  • My assumption is that you still come at it from a bottom-like standpoint, which is virtually the same deal, but without the explosive payoff at the end. We can all masturbate alone much more effectively, and ‘fore’play is termed as so for a reason – it builds certain desires prior to something else a little grander.

    BTW, there are lots of service oriented guys out there who only want to suck you off and/or do foreplay-esque things. That’s why the term ‘service’ exists as well. I’ve experienced that lots of times before, but as a basic top who has an ass fetish, of sorts, I can’t help but want to grip a waist from behind and essentially ‘own’ another man for a short-term love-a-thon.

    I definitely hope you find what you’re looking for, though. We all have needs and preferences to attend.

  • You have to want to penetrate something. If not ass (which I personally don’t judge you, I agree with a lot of what you said) then it has to be vagina. Oral is great but it’s not enough.

  • I agree I dont like anal never have liked it, I dont like to top either
    Have always been oral , and lets face it shoving anything up your ass is not only painful but is bad for the body, its an exit only.

  • Hi Shaun!

    I happen to think anal sex is disgusting and painful. I tried topping a guy once and pulled out all shit-covered which was traumatic, needless to say. But I’m right there with you on everything else…can’t get enough of sucking dick and, ironically, EATING ass…keep your chin up, Shaun! You’re not alone!

  • I happen to be a big fan of anal. I like the idea that another guy will submit to me and let me penetrate him. It’s a power thing with me I guess. The feeling I get when I am pumping another guys ass really turns me on. He is in total submission to my will. If you are not into that sort of thing, then you will probably not be into anal.

  • Its turns me on… But for me, I’m hesitant at first because at first entry is painful, I was a bottom at first for the first few years of having sex with guys… But after a while I got tired of that first entry pressure that I was feeling… Thankfully I found a person who also does not get turned on by anal.. So you are not the only one… And even tho I found someone who also doesnt get turned on by anal… Let me just say that there are days when I just take it and ride…

  • You don’t have to like it! Personally, I’m more of a bottom. Love the feeling of a nice thick cock sliding in and out of my hole deep. My ideal top cock size is between 7 and 8 inches, although if a cock is slightly shorter but thick then that too works for me. I actually prefer a an average cock that is thick to one that is long, 8 plus, but skinny. But that’s about it, when it comes to anal. I sometimes top, but rarely, and less so as I get older and my pecker doesn’t quite stay as hard for as long as it used to. So being a bottom works great in that regard. But I don’t like to rim. The thought of putting my mouth anywhere near someone else’s poop shoot I find really disgusting, so for that reason I don’t like receiving it much either, although I know that a lot of guys are really into that, and if someone really wants to rim me I’ll let them, of course, so long as I’m clean. But I don’t even really like to finger guys’ holes. Hygiene is important to me and I just can’t believe all the unhealthy things guys will do just because they are horny. So don’t question your disdain for anything anal. Everybody is different and into different things.

  • Hi there,

    I was into anal for a long time and loved it. Last year I had sex with this great guy but he was a terrible top. He just rammed into my ass and as a result I can’t even finger fuck myself anymore without lots of pain and discomfort. I’ve gone back to my former favorites and am a cock sucker extraordinaire. Guess I have to leave the butt fucking to others.

  • hummm interesting topic boys I would have to say when why are you on a4a or having sex with guys?

  • Well, for many the direct stimulation of the prostate through the back door produces more powerful and stronger orgasms than anything up front. Different strokes for different folks

  • Personally I love anal, both as top or bottom. As far as bottoming, I don’t need a foot long dick, but do want a nice fat one that can stretch me good and tap on my prostate. I have never done it, but have felt like I could cum, from just getting fucked. As a top, I have had a couple bottoms blow their wads just from getting fucked, without anyone touching their cocks. That is hot, love the feel of that ass spasming, as they shoot their load. Woof!

  • I have to say I love anal sex. When it comes anal sex I love the feeling the sensation of the penis inside me. Its a total turn on for me

  • Hey, I agree, I do like it once in awhile with well endowed men. But, the prep time is a bitch, and then the clean up. How-ever, If you do not like it? Simple, No means No. And stick to your guns! Your not alone!

  • Wow! I can’t believe all the posts against anal sex!?! Would anyone dare ask a str8 guy if he didn’t really like to fuck? As far as it being “disgusting”, I suggest you seek therapy! Most sex acts can be seen that way (gross or disgusting) if you are a germaphobe! I mean c’mon, some people stick their dick through a hole and let who knows suck it!? You pick a stranger up in a bar and will kiss and blow them, but anal is gross? Tjis is a hook-up site and I see the same people day in and day out, who knows how clean their mouth or dick really is? One question though, do any of you who don’t like anal swallow cum?

    I agree with the poster above you says you might not be Gay… every time someone hits me up and just wants a BJ I suspect they are str8 or DL.

  • I like it .. feels good, maybe I like it because im 101% bottom? 😛

  • I happen to love anal sex. What is a better way to connect with each other than by hi eating you out then penetrating you. He doesn’t have to cum in you which I prefer to have the cum in my mouth anyway. When you are on top of him and going up and down on his shaft the look in his eyes are worth a million dollars to me.
    I hope other guys feel the same way as I do!!!

  • I have had great anal, but only a few times. I spent six months getting my ex comfortable and stretched out enough to do it. When we finally did, it was great, and he came without touching his dick. I think I like the challenge of going where no man has gone, lol. “Power bottoms” and aggressive guys who want to sit on me immediately are less appealing to me and as far as “owning a guy” or submission are concerned, I get off to oral submission better, I guess because it usually requires some participation on his part, although throat-fucking is fun, too. Getting fucked? I have never enjoyed it, but can’t say I never would.

  • I love it… Mmmmmm

  • I have tried both being a top and bottom, but I don’t really long for it. I enjoy oral more, as I do kissing, making out, licking, etc. To each his own I would say. Just like preferences for certain guys, there are also preferences as to what sexual activity you like.

  • Hey, you’re not alone. I’ve never been into it, at all. But I do love a nice, good looking butt…to rim, finger and play with. I’ve never had any pleasure in getting fucked but if I really like a guy, and he wants to go there, I let it happen. I don’t like topping, either. For me, the idea of fucking a guy usually makes my dick go soft. But, yeah..it seems like the sun rises and sets on bottoming for most gay guys. And, as has been pointed out, for a lot of tops, it’s the idea of dominating another guy that really adds to it. Likewise, for bottoms, sometimes the idea that they are submitting to a guy is what works. I’ve come across a number of str8 guys, over the years, that like their butts played with and fucked and they don’t get that need satisfied by a girl. We’re all built differently, anatomically. And we have different psychological needs, as well. For some, a dick up the butt pushes all the right buttons. For others, it doesn’t do a thing but hurt.

  • Im a bottom that feels just the opposit. I have always liked attention given to my butt and penetration by fingers, candles, anything that resembled a cock. The first real cock was to small to get more than the head in, I liked it but nothing special. The next few were lousy lovers that had no idea about my pleasure. My first bigger cock was 8″ by 6″ annd he didnt take his time and it was painful as he forced his way in. It was a long time before I let a lover get behind me again. It was a black Adonis that I could barely get in my mouth. He was at least 10.5″ and so thick I thought he would split me in half. I relaxed as best I could and he was so gentle and eased that cock deeper and deeper until his balls were on my thighs. He was in no rush as he got me used to that monster deep in my ass. He slowly pulled back and started to fuck me, a little more powerful with each thrust until I was begging for him to fuck me harder. It was wonderful, my precum was flowing and he was pumping my ass with his big balls slapping my thighs, almost sounding like applause. I milked him with my amuscles until he went into another gear and fucked me hard. When he came it was like a dam burst. His cock was still hard and he pumped until I rubbed out the most powerful orgasm of my life. We laid there for a long time with his half hard cock still in my ass. When he pulled out I knew Id never be happy without anal. I have learned to train smaller cocks to please me but Ill take his anytime.

  • If you haven’t had good anal, you won’t like anal. If you don’t know how to prepare for anal, you won’t like anal. And if you don’t have a skilled top who will listen and react to you during sex, you won’t like anal. And condoms feel awful for the top and bottom. If you’re new to anal, find a patient top you can trust. Consider going on PrEP. If you’re big and want to try topping, start with a power bottom, since you likely won’t know what you’re doing. It’s not easy like oral is, but when done right, it feels GREAT!

  • I think it’s also a matter of who you’re with, chemistry is very significant for me. I’m versatile, usually top, but if the mood is right I love to be on the bottom. It takes the right kind of guy for that.

    There’s no shame in not liking anal sex, just like there’s no shame in not liking leather, kink, FF, etc. Do what you like, and don’t let anyone force you into anything, unless you like that 😉

  • I do not understand how one’s appreciation of anal determines his sexual orientation. To say that a man isn’t gay because he doesn’t enjoy anal sex is like saying a man who isn’t into breasts can’t be straight. I think it is a lot more about the kind of person that you want to have sex with, rather than specifically where you want to put your penis. I for one, am strictly a top. I have attempted to bottom, but it is almost exclusively painful and only very rarely pleasurable. And no, that isn’t because the tops I’ve been with are unskilled. Instead, it’s a physical attribute of my body. I do enjoy topping, but that also doesn’t mean I’m eager to stick my cock inside just anybody at just any time. Finding a guy with whom I share the appropriate anal sexual dynamic is pretty rare. Often, guys want to be hammered like there’s no tomorrow, which I don’t much care to do.

  • wantabudbad you happen to meet a poorly prepped bottom, and Synn, you happen to not know the daily prep you can do to make you ready for instant hook up
    I have enjoyed anal sex for the past 15 years as a bottom and not once, my top(s) ever pulled out his private part covered with $#%& and I have always been ready with any instant hook up / sex that can happen at anytime by doing what i do daily :)
    But of course, I agree for some ppl anal sex is just not their thing

  • Obviously sex is an individual thing. I have a straight female friend that does not like vagina sex but LOVES anal. That being said, I love anal mansex. Anal sex allows for the “connection” that I can’t get with blow jobs, etc. Being a vers top, the rare times that I do get plowed, I have head ripping off orgasms. Thus, I would hope that any bottom that i’m topping feels the same. Yes, anal requires prep but for those “straigh” or “bi” men out there…ask your female lovers…so does vaginal sex (unless you like the smell of urine, blood, and don’t forget: the vagina is close to the anus). To each his own. Live and let live and all that…

  • I absolutely live anal sex and being a bottom. But that doesn’t mean Kong king fucks me. I used to be top only, but realized a whole new world of sexual expression with getting fucked. But its a matter of choice. Whatever turns you on. Do you and don’t worry about it. What ever feels right and good for you.


  • Shaun, you’re certainly not alone in that I, like others share the same sentiment as you. I’ve always been more inclined and sexually satisfied with foreplay and oral, because to me it still gets the “job” done. However, some guys say that the feeling of anal penetration is far more satisfying than a blow job. I’ve tried topping at the request of my lover and while it wasn’t a bad experience I still felt uncomfortable, prior to that I’d taken on the role of being a bottom for the same guy and he was my first; the feeling was painful b/c I had never done it before, and not to mention it got a little messy…I wasn’t too keen on doing after that but b/c I developed deep feelings and wanted to satisfy his wants and needs I continued to bottom as he broke me in, but I’m still pretty tight and not really a fan of anal sex. I could remain oral and be fully satisfied…

  • You’re so not alone.

    there is an entire community of men out there that eschew anal sex. (they call themselves “goy.” google it.) It’s painful, requires a lot of prep and even with the proper safety precautions, it can still be dangerous.

    and to those that say “How can you be gay if you’re not into anal?” this simple response: we are gay because we are attracted to men, not because of what we do with them. I’ve personally always found frottage to be a mutually enjoyable alternative. Toss in some oral and you’ve got a full evening.

    sorry boys, not everyone wants or needs to resort to doing something they don’t care for just to get a glimmer of what they do want.

  • primarily been a top as hung 8 thick inches and anal rocks

    and especially if its xxx treme anal ie long thick meat toys.. and handballl

  • Im more of a foreplay person than anal penetrating I get off more with foreplay kissing and oral are getting jacked off

  • It’s ok not to be into anal. That’s not what makes a man gay, and there is plenty to do anyway. Just depends on what you’re into. Anyone who says otherwise just might be as closed-minded as those people who judge us! Just my opinion.

  • Hello Shaun, even-though I like doing anal it doesn’t really turn me on, but when the guy that’s fucking me and him cumming that what turns me
    on afterwords and I have to make myself cum. I hope I’m not the only one on her that likes doing anal this way as a bottom but I enjoy the guy cumming and me making myself cum. That’s a turn on for me.

  • What’s the point of being gay if you don’t like anal sex?

  • Mark B : being gay doesn’t mean loving anal sex…

  • i am a top and i do not like anal, fucking ass just doesnt do it for me. And yes, when I was younger I got banged a few times, hated it, hurt like hell. only oral and j/o for me

  • Hello, Shaun.

    I do not get much pleasure out of receiving anal, nor do I have a great desire to top, yet I am still extremely gay. Nothing turns me on faster than the thought being physically close and intimate with another man. I am simply not attracted to women. I do not agree that anal desire is a condition for being gay. That’s absurd. Keep being you, and you will find a man who shares your perspective. Take care.

  • I like anal sex, but only on occasion. I have to be in the right mood. I certainly don’t need (and in some cases don’t want) it in order to be satisfied. I like topping and bottoming equally, but for me I love sucking dick more than anything else. I can get pretty submissive when sucking. What turns me on is knowing I’m getting the other guy off. The more he moans and holds my head down, the more turned on I get. I usually save anal for someone I have a more intimate connection with. And even then, I don’t like it every time. Everyone has a different preference, which is good. If everyone liked the same thing, it’d be pretty boring out there…

  • I think we need a blog entry about how to be ready for an instant hookup. Hey, Kyori2907…. 😉

  • I happen to love anal sex… Especially with well endowed men. The feeling of being filled up with a big cock if great. Pulling a man into me and having him cum inside me… All good!

  • Anal looks good from the outside looking in, but when you’re there, there are certain aspects of the act that can really turn one off. There have been a couple of instances where I have had to stop shortly into the process because it just wasn’t working out. Then there are times when everything fits perfectly and it goes really well. Those are the times that I fantasize about and want more of. Being a bottom can be painful, though. I’m not sure how some guys do it.

  • I am totally mystified that some guys here are suggesting an equivalency between being gay and engaging in anal sex. I am definitely gay, but I definitely don’t like anal sex — I never have, and probably never will. But apparently some people think that a person like me isn’t sufficiently or authentically gay, just because I don’t like a certain sexual activity. How bizarre. Let’s embrace the diversity of preferences within the gay community, and not question anyone’s gayness based on a very limited definition of what it means to be gay!

  • No you’re not the only one. It took me a great deal of compromising and finding my fiancé before I was able to enjoy it or be turned on. He was passionate and patient. he’d listen to me if I said it hurt of it was uncomfortable. we hardly ever just Fucked. it was always making love and it changed it for me. kinda like an acquired taste. Maybe that’s something you can try to do. Best of luck :)

  • Lol, wow guys some really good responses on here, all very indicative of the people on here( straight/ bicurious/inexperienced)!!! Some very insightful people said it best. Different strokes for different folks. That’s why there is chocalate and vanilla 😉 what it comes down to is this. If you’re gonna bottom keep a good fiber rich diet and douche/ Prep before getting fucked. If you’re a top you need to also be prepared ( wash your ass and balls before you have someone face in your crouch area and be sure you communicate with your partner and pay close attention to signals/body language your bottom is giving you. Now let’s have some fun!..;)

  • I thought I was the only one haha…I’m definitely more into 69/jo anal doesn’t really get me going either

  • I love anal sex–topping and bottoming both. If I had my way I’d have anal sex every day.

  • To Micah… I googled “goy”. It means a “non-Jewish person.” A “gentile”! LOL What’s your point?

  • Who said that anal sex was a requirement? Get over it guys. There are those that say they are not into anal sex, yet start their comments with “I am a top or bottom”…what gives?

  • Mark B — you’d be surprised at how many young, sexless gay couples are out there.

  • I, too, am only partial to everything else pertaining to male-to-male fun, but anal is definitely NOT included! Even though I’ve never actually tried it, I just can’t get past the idea that even a small cock in my tight ass would cause more pain than pleasure … and I’m personally all about the pleasure aspect of playing. Nothing turns me OFF faster than something that would HURT instead of bringing me pleasure. Call me naïve if you want, but for me, sucking, kissing, touching, mutual JO, even ass-munching are all okay, but anything going IN to my asshole? No thanks. (I guess that’s why my a4a screen name is what it is – I prefer the cock “ndamouth”. 😉

  • I just bottomed for the first time in 12 years ago 3 days ago for a guy the same size as me but not as thick (9″)… my ex was 6.5 and thin… the other day was AMAZING… in fact he fucked me twice and i came both times… i have always considered myself a total top but i am doubting myself now… i am not kidding.. i was in HEAVEN.. maybe because it was because there was so much chemistry and he took his time and was gentle but i am still blushing and was not sore at all after.. i am ready for round 2 or should i say 3

  • I don’t like anal sex either. Just not into it. Give me a nice hard cock to suck and I am a happy puppy!

  • So i love anal but i know people who just like the other stuff. I don’t get it and i never will. I understand it. Cause i hate getting head but love giving head. So for you to hate anal no biggie. I just want to know what about do you hate why you hate it and what made You hate it in the first place.

  • Im not into anal, never will. The thought of sticking my cock into a hole that shit comes out of is repulsive. And I will never be fucked. Ive heard to many horror stories about it…..fissures, intestinal tearing……nasty stuff…..oral, mutual jacking, kissing while masterbating, dick to dick rubbing……that’s me……..but not anything anal……

  • Anal isn’t my favorite either. I do love seeing and grabbing a nice ass. will top a guy but only if we are very close and I’m really into him..no pun intended. I would be very happy with just making out, touching , jack off and oral…yummy! What ever floats your boat. You and your guy can be very happy and fulfilled with out anal if it’s what you both want.

  • Being gay is being attracted to the same sex, not about what you like or don’t like to do. I have never been turned on by anal bottoming. I finally asked my doctor and he confirmed that some guys are just not wired for anal pleasure.

  • i jst love fucking anal sex, jst make me crazy knowing a hot guy pumping his hot load deep in me,and the look in his eyes as he cums it sooo sweet

  • @ Sean “not really gay then”. I think this is an inaccurate assessment. I am primarily a top guy. I say primarily because I have not found a guy who could top and I enjoy it.

    I can take it or leave it and mostly leave it. It doesn’t send me into orbit like it does some guys. So, to the original guy who asked-don’t worry about it, if it’s not your thing, then it’s not.

    As to Sean’s comment-this is too much a generalization. Yes, I think all top guys should bottom at least once, but a man is not defined by what position he enjoys.

  • Totally with you, man! Oral, frot, and jo for me only.

  • I love these blogs because I love seeing how idiotic guys can be. The comments of, “If you don’t like anal you aren’t gay,” or, “If you don’t like anal then why are you on here?” (Only my examples are properly punctuated and spelled correctly). Because everyone knows you choose what you’re attracted to, therefore we all chose to be gay early in life… I’m not a fan of anal either so you aren’t alone, and reading the other comments I’m not the only one who thinks so.

  • Definitely a lot of guys out there feel the same way. Maybe a third category will arise between top, bottom, & neither. I met this guy last year & he seemed to feel the same way about penetration. I was not into it because of the preparation work involved as a bottom & it felt more of chore to bottom. I am not much of a top either. The guy I met felt the exact same way, but we did have tons of fun doing everything else but rimming & anal. It was nice because you could have spontaneous & impulse sex. Otherwise, without proper planning & preparing, anal sex would be a disgusting experience. To each his own though. Bottom line, gay sex may involve a third category of ‘neither’ when it comes to categories.

  • I’m bi and like to fuck girls. I don’t like anal sex with guys are girls. I dont like to get fucked either. I love to jack off with guys. I like to suck and get sucked by guys and I love kissing guys and girls. I thought it was just me not to like anal sex. I feel better now that it not just me.

  • My last partner wanted sex three times a day, it got to the point it was never enough. Now the thought of anal makes me sick I feel I just need to get over it. I want the Romance now not the hook up…so no your not alone in this I can’t stand anal either.

  • I don’t like anal either. I like all the foreplay better. Glad to know I’m not alone on this topic. Hope everyone had a great weekend

  • I happen to totally dislike anal. I am a small guy and guy’s weight plus the sensation of a dick in my ass is just too much to handle. Love to su, get sucked, eat ass, get my ass eaten and kissing/body contact.

  • I agree with “Blog”. That question is like asking “How can you say you like ice-cream if you don’t like buttered pecan flavor?”

  • I’m with Shaun.

    I’ve played both roles, and between the physical discomfort, extensive prep/clean-up, health risks, and the power dynamics, I just don’t find it enjoyable or worth the trouble. I get a lot more “BANG!” out of activities that are safer and more simplistic.

  • I feel like some of you are speaking out of ignorance and being judgmental. Since when is being gay equivalent to the desire to have anal sex? If that is the case, then are those men who enjoy anal sex with women, and the women who enjoy anal sex gay? I don’t think so. Being gay is about what you are attracted to and desire in a partner, not about whether or not you have anal sex. This is what’s wrong with gay men: too much thinking about ourselves in terms of only sexual preference and not thinking about ourselves in terms of what we are attracted to and want to love.

  • i love the dick. not a size queen but i do love a man that knows how to fuck and loves to fuck. any volunteers?? j/k lol

  • I love anal, both giving and recieving, but I’d never force anyone into it or do it becauase it was expected of me.

    If you don’t like it, don’t do it. And stop apologizing.

  • “and Synn, you happen to not know the daily prep you can do to make you ready for instant hook up”

    Hmm, let me remind you that 1) you know nothing about me and 2) you’re past the point of delusion if you’ve somehow convinced yourself that you do.

    If 15yrs is the breath of your experience, then I’ve easily got you beat by double. After several DECADES experimenting in various ways, I simply came to the decision that it wasn’t something I’m all that into. Plain and simple.

    I’m all about dicks, and I really just don’t like anything about ass. I’m sorry you find that difficult to empathize with, but your lack of comprehension in no way invalidates the feeling nor is indicative of an improper undertaking.

    Stay safe.

  • I like anal, but not all the time when I want to have sex I live for oral and jo

  • You don’t have to like anal. I have had very little anal sex; it hurts and is messy. I do like guys that give talented finger prostate massages. I have not found one yet, but would like a guy to give me an enema. Anal play can be fun but stick with what you enjoy and makes you happy.

  • Those who have told me to top seemed to like it a lot, and I liked it too. As bottom, I have found it uncomfortable at best. Being submissive, I allow it anyway. Perhaps it is a matter of practice?

  • Thanks to everyone for replying to this question. I moved to San Francisco recently and every single person I’ve been interested in has wanted anal sex – with either me topping or bottoming. It’s a bit discouraging. Anal sex is something I can watch on porn and be fine with. But in reality I don’t even know what all of this “prep” stuff was some people spoke of. (I get the gist though.) I don’t judge others for wanting or liking anal sex. For me it just seems messy, dangerous, painful, etc. And I get that for some it’s also about power. But for me, I prefer oral, touching, kissing,touching, talking, intimacy etc.. And I also enjoy things that are creative and different. Just because it’s not anal does not mean it has to be vanilla.
    I appreciate the feedback – whether or not you agreed with my point of view. It was a good discussion and I definitely don’t’ feel as alone as I did before reading the posts.

  • I am a TOTAL BOTTOM and I love giving my ass up to a Man for his pleasure. I love feeling a Man’s hard dick inside me. There is no better feeling.

  • If I ever met a gay man who wasn’t into anal, I just don’t think we’d ever get along. Having anal sex is the best part of being sexual as a gay man in my opinion.

  • For almost 6 months I had a roommate that use to come to my room and kind of serve himself by pulling the sheets off of me, eating my ass and fucking me, the first time I thought it was kind of fantasy fulfilling, but then he did it every morning, seriously, not a day he missed!, and he gave me amazing orgasms just with his cock. We never spoke about anything, never a drink or anything more than a hi or what’s up!….he never kissed me, never touched my dick, never wore a condom either. What he did do was lay on top of me for few seconds after getting off and he will whisper “thanks” to my ear…. I guess that was his way…. and I never bottomed since…. don’t even know why?…

  • I have been both…top and bottom but mostly a bottom when it comes to anal. Actually I am not fond of either position. First off I can’t and have never seen or felt for that matter the excitement or joy of having a pole shoved up my ass. Frankly it HURTS and hurts for days. Huge
    amounts of lube has never worked. Last guy to fuck me tore my ass up which has taken over two months to heal and I still am not completely healed yet. So no you are not the only guy out there that doesn’t like anal. After the last time I have decided not to have anal again.

  • Love anal ,
    All bottom here and I agree with comments regarding that you must penetrate something , all my guys love everything else when it comes to anal that’s the cherry for them , I am a bottom that aims to please if you are not a bottom to please something is wrong

  • Most guys don’t like anal sex probably never play with or explore their own anuses with their own fingers or toys on the regular basis. It is never easy to poke yourself but it is better than letting someone else that knows nothing about your body shove his object up your ass mercilessly. Even a short thick cock can hurt any hole afterward if continuously being rammed or jack rabbit fucked for a long time. Everything takes practice and nobody is pain free first time around. I like the idea of a man that can take a cock up his ass like a real man with pleasure. Painful after fucking is never good, this is directed to Tops only guys. Versatile guys know more about their own anatomy so they are more patient with their partners in anal sex . Well some people enjoy painful sex but only the minority. I read some guys quote that it is not sex if nobody gets fucked. LoL so true.
    FYI , I didn’t enjoy anal sex for first several years (painful, filthy, bleeding, inflammatory, smelly) probably because of bad Tops and inexperienced techniques but I started to explore my body to be comfortable with my own hands and then toys and learning from other versatile guys to make sex more pleasurable. The mind cannot be tricked if it is already made up for some people. I’m not a powerful Bottom nor purely Top but I like to test my limits by exploring sexuality and it’s endless.

  • To Mark B. and Sean: if you think being gay means liking anal sex, then you need to examine your own definition of gay. Fucking (anal sex) is not a prerequisite, although it is for the majority of gay males today. I have been a bottom and a top, and I cannot get into either. I love to cum by being sucked or by sucking another guy; I love kissing, which some “gay” men don’t want to do…they want their ass fucked, but you cannot kiss them. So are they gay? What’s the point of being that close intimately if you cannot show some intimacy like kissing brings. That’s fucked up. I have a partner, and we both do NOT like anal sex. Of course, that limits us to the kinds of guys who will join us for 3somes or 4somes, which is okay. However, if you had heard from all these young guys on here who have contracted AIDS from having unprotected anal sex with their “boyfriends” and others, you would think twice…well, no you wouldn’t, because you don’t care. You gotta be fucked, or you gotta do the fucking, right? Yeah, that’s what being gay is all about, isn’t it? Pain, ramming it in like the guy you’re fucking is a piece of nothing just to be fucked and doing it bareback all the time with one after the other, flipping -yeah, that’s what goes–and that’s how you contract something that can change your view of sex forever. Good luck on getting any kind of sex after you wind up being diagnosed HIV+. I have always said, if a guy has to fuck you up the ass to be having gay sex, then he needs to go fuck a vagina which is made for that. You guys who think anal sex is the be-all and end-all to gay sex are so limited in your sexual perceptions, dominated by what the majority of everyone else is doing instead of taking a stand and saying, “Hey, that’s not me.” Shaun, thank you for asking this and for allowing all of us here who feel like you do to say that no,you definitely are not alone.

  • Wow thought I was the only one that felt this way. It’s weird though because I get turned on of the idea of anal sex but actually going through with it frightens me. I’m in a relationship of going on 6yrs and I’ve never let my partner penetrate me nor anyone else. We’ve tried and tried but it just never gets there. I feel bad because I’ve made love to him and he hasn’t with me but he understands that I just cant get into it and trust I satisfy him in other ways.

  • It all changed for me three years ago. I met a dude that had the perfect sized dick to hit my prostate right where it counted and for the first time in my life, i was cumming without even touching myself. It was an unbelievable experience and i don’t think a day has passed that i haven’t replayed it in my mind. I’m 54 now and never experienced a gspot orgasm until i was 51. The orgasm didn’t stop, as long as he hit it, i looked down and cum kept squirting out of my dick. His dick was like a key that unlocked a whole realm i didn’t know existed. Sadly, i now feel that I’ll be spending the rest of my life trying to find someone who can give me a repeat experience. His dick was very thick and very long, i didn’t think i could even get fucked by someone that huge but the dude was a master at getting me super hot and opening me up. It was by far my best sexual experience, i wish i could be happy at that but i want another and that’s where life can be so fucked. The dude only lives a few miles away but i cant get him interested in a round two. I think i scared him off, i was so blown away by the experienced, i recurred him too much afterward and i think he thought i was some nutcase or something. So i finally had to accept it ain’t going to happen again with him and keep looking for his clone. I’m now 54 and hope i can experience this kings of sex just once more in my lifetime. When you do, it will change your entire view on anal sex.

  • I also do not like anal and I am totally gay. One blogger wrote, “if you’re not into anal, then you must have a craving for pussy.” Not true. I am flat out not attracted to females. Being the insertive partner feels very tight and it not pleasurable for me. Being the receptive partner is dangerous and I think it would be quite painful! I would much prefer to stick to oral, jo, cuddling, kissing, body contact, and maybe some nipple or foot play to go along with it.

  • I do not require anal, either, but love to suck dick and even get my facefucked! :) My boyfriend loves to fuck my face and he loves it. He cums on my face and it’s super hot. If you’re looking for an alternative to fucking, you may want to lay your head off the bed and have your partner/hookup or whatever, slowly feed you that dick. It’s pretty hot to me and gets me off every time. You can get gaggy, so gotta take it easy at first. Anal is over rated and in the long run your ass gets blown out if you’re a bottom… my best friend however LOVES anal and tells me he has no idea what I’m missing… I’m like all the others who mentioned, they’ve tried it, etc., but it does nothing for me… I do like to get my ass eat, but it’s like getting a massage and puts me to sleep LOL. There’s many of us out here that aren’t into anal and you’re not abnormal.

  • I for one never liked it either, I have fucked few guys I never been fucked but it intrigues me to still want to fuck some especially if they say they like my furry ccok, just rather get sucked and suck .. cuz anal is more of problem dealing with HIV maybe that’s why I never cared ,,plus at 55 too old to start now :(

  • I have tried anal and consistently it does nothing for me. I try to relax and it always painful and uncomfortable. I’ve tried to top but my cock is 7.5 x 6 and some guys are afraid to take it. Even though the thought of being totally versatile with the right guy has always intrigued me ultimately it’s not for me. That being said although we are in the minority there are plenty of guys out there like us into “foreplay”. To me there is nothing hotter than “Frot”. Rubbing, grinding, jacking, and edging cock2cock. Oral, nip play, and even light ass play (fingering). Working each other over man2man until you Blow. No tops. No bottoms. Two equals. You should check out the terms “goy” and “Frot”. I go by the name Frotguy01 on Adam and I make it clear that this what I like. Over the years i have noticed more guys know about Frot and even approach me first about it. You should check out sites Frotfrat and Dudesfrot to find others like us. We do exist.

  • I disagree, i get great pleasure from anal. The bigger the better, but the top must know how to stimulate me beforehand. I need lots of foreplay, and lube. If my partner can hit the prostate just right and keep a decent rhthem I can cum hands free. I have had the best orgasms this way, longer and more intense.. The prep work , enema, and clean up is a down side..

  • I think it is important to acknowledge the difference between not liking anal because of the prep required (or the chance for things to get messy) and not liking anal on a fundamental level. The first one I get, the second strikes me as odd though because I can’t relate to it at all. I would be just as confused by a straight man telling me he doesn’t like to penetrate women or a straight woman telling me she doesn’t like to get penetrated.

    I’m not saying those straight people don’t exist. I’ve just never met them and can’t relate to them. There are plenty of times I wish anal was easier and thus have not “liked” it but never have I had no desire for it.

  • being vresa I love anal,but prep is #1 my last lover didn’t have a clue about being a top or a bottom we played safe and he still made a mess,we cleaned up and I got him hard again he was read I sat on him he was 7+ thick felt great but he wanted me on my back then it was slam bam and quite painful I let him know what I thought of his technique tried to work with him he didn’t want to hear it the next time he stopped by I told him no anal he was angry n left haven’t heard from him again/BUT my previous had great technique was also versa it was the greatest anal I’ve EVER had we fucked each other several times a week for 8 months I miss and we never made a mess except with cum flying everywhere and he was nearly 8.5 and THICK NEVER FELT ANYTHING except pleasure with him but he was a lover not just a fuck we got rough with each other sometimes when the mood struck us but it always felt GREAT most of other lovers were just ok.i think I can speak for myself and him that it was GREAT for both of us.Dean

  • I’m a versatile bottom (although I prefer bottom much more0 and I agree that anal can be a pain sometimes, but when you have a good, caring top for a partner and his dick is hitting your prostate just right…wow. I love to suck, I love to get fucked, and on rare occasions fuck, but I can’t imagine my sex life without anal.

  • to each his own i guess. btm guy here and wanna keep it that way…i like it

  • I was in the same boat you were until a few years ago, I was strictly a top when/if it came to anal and had been that way many years. When I was 20 a fairly large hung guy (mechanic that just needed some hole) basically raped me bare-fortunately I didn’t catch anything from that. But I knew I didn’t enjoy it, w as too much pain. I was already fairly active, but gave up the car and began cycling full time over a 100 miles weekly just for commuting and errands about 6 years ago. It wasn’t long until my upper thighs and ass really became well developed, and I really became noticed. Even “straight” married guys at work made veiled comments about my ass. It was psychological for me from then on, I started out slow with my partner, and yeah, had a few sessions where I had to have him pull out after only a few minutes, but gradually came to really enjoy it, I’m now more bottom than top. There’s nothing wrong with not liking anal, I didn’t for many years, but don’t pre tend to be on some higher moral ground because of your preference. In time, it may change.

  • I’d say I’m 85% top/15% bottom but I’m not particularly fond of anal. I have to be extremely attracted to or emotionally connected with a guy to go there. Otherwise, I just don’t get hard enough to follow through. That said, anal with the guys I was into fucking was fantastic and the few I’ve bottomed for made it quite pleasurable. I’ve been interested in exploring bottom more lately, but it’s more of a whim than actual need.

    Sucking cock is a huge turn on for me. I seriously enjoy pleasing a man with my mouth. Oral does require a certain expertise, though. I’ve had guys blow me who clearly had no idea what they were doing and ended up just having to jack off.

    As for those who mentioned anal lets you own another man, I agree. But oral can provide the same thrill. When I get sucked, I prefer to be a dominant, skullfucking, dirty talking daddy. It’s fun sucking off a guy who does the same. Grabbing the back of a (willing) guy’s head and forcing him balls deep and holding him down feels great. There’s power there, because you could actually suffocate him with your dick. When oral gets that intense, you have to know and trust the person you’re with and respect their limits. I would never dominate a guy without his permission and vice versa. If he just wants to suck me until I blow a load, that’s fine too.

  • I hate fucking. When I’ve bottomed, it was just a feeling of discomfort. I can’t even tolerate being rimmed, it seems so invasive.
    Top? I usually lose my hardon.
    Nothing feels as good as nice suck and stroke, edging me for a while. And if a guy swallows? There’s just no comparison.

    Everybody likes what they like. Different kinds of faces, different body types, different ages…and different activities.

    But I hear ya, bud….conversation online or on apps always dies when I tell somebody, “No thanks, I don’t want to fuck you.”

  • While a cute butt and watching a guy get fucked get’s me excited, being on the receiving end of anal doesn’t work for me. For me, it goes back to a painful experience some 20 years ago from a huge hung guy (everyone’s ideal thought) that proceeded to fuck me for hours with no end or climax. I was sore for a long time afterwards and left the scar of avoiding anal sex there after. Also for me, simply the smell of an unclean butt sends direct communication to my dick to soften up and avoid more with the guy. So, I’ve simply given up on anal except to JO or getting sucked while watching others guys having anal sex.

    I can see where there can be a lot of pleasure from this activity, it definitely is a case of “on or off” as related to past experiences.

  • Well..I always thought that ever since I was a young gay man learning about myself and my needs that sucking a dick is all I ever wanted to do. Then I met a neighbor boy he was very into my ass…he taught me the pleasures of being fucked hard by the right kind of guy who identifies as a top . Time went by and we lost touch and I gained a fear of being penetrated . The men I met just were not the same as he was …it hurt it wasn’t a pleasure, this is NOT something I like. Then on one of those horned up weekends out I hit the baths. There in a hallway was a black God like figure of a man . My first man of color . We talked he touched my ass one thing lead to another and by the end of the might I knew what a real man fucking my ass was all about . He did me every which way from Sunday . He fucked me until I was well and truly fucked . The pleasure I felt from that big black dick up to the balls in my ass cannot ever be described . He was a multiple cummer too and never got soft. A few minutes rest and he was at it again….when we fell asleep he stayed inside my ass. THIS ..I thought is pure heaven on earth . He was also a talker a dirty talker and to me …..that is a win win if I ever saw one. I do not go to the baths anymore….I am very careful about who I let into my sex life . But I know one thing it isn’t about liking anal or not it is about the RIGHT man who does get to penetrate you the right way ….done wrong you grit your teeth and pray for it to be over …done right and you spasm and heave and pary that he never takes his dick out of your ass again . I never saw my black God again but in my dreams and I know I moan out loud when I do conjure him up ….he left me with amazing memories of totally belonging to someone else if even for a moment .

  • I really enjoy good fun clean anal sex. But how do you others handle those spur of the moment or after work encounters? And by that I mean being cleaned and ready? I’m really self conscious about back there. Any tips?

  • There are guys who don’t consider it sex unless they’re fucking or being fucked, and they’re happy to skip the foreplay to get to the “main event.” They might get sex, but I think they’re missing the sensuality that comes with kissing, exploring, touching, fondling, licking, and sucking.

    And, I’m amazed that any guy here feels he has the right to judge another guy’s sexual desires or dislikes. All we have the right to do is say what we, ourselves, get into. That’s it. If you don’t like fucking, you’re no less gay and your sex is no less legit.

  • let me reiterate I LOVE ANAL SEX TO GIVE AND RECIEVE.I SAW THE TEASER ON THE SIDE BAR said I didn’t like anal…..Dean

  • I am fine with whatever everyone does.

    I have never been into anal.
    Completely oral here
    I love keeping my dick sucked. Wish I could fine a nice black
    dick to suck every now and then here in Chicago
    I am bisexual and maybe I get my penetration fix from women. But I have never wanted to fuck a guy or get fucked.
    thought I was a freak of nature

  • Reading through all of these comments, I noticed something in several that struck a chord: it seems to me that guys who are tops (generally speaking) like the position of power, of dominating, penetrating,…that is, fucking; they perceive those who declare themselves as bottoms as weak, need to be dominated (like a woman), and I have had some email me and tell me they wanted me to be their “bitch” or their “whore.” I thought, WTF. Those of us who prefer to leave anal intercourse off the menu, see sex between men as on a more equal footing, both of us giving and receiving pleasure without this aggressive desire to dominate, of closeness and intimacy, while top guys may dally a little while in the kissing and foreplay department but really just want to get down to the FUCKING. And I’m sorry, but like the original Shaun who generated this topic, I was absolutely perplexed as to what the hell “prep” had to do with it. If you mean I have to douche my ass like a woman does her vagina in order to have more pleasurable anal sex, I still don’t see what that matters one way or the other. I have seen guys on other websites who post pics of their ass which looks like a crater on the moon, they have had so much anal sex. There is nothing appealing or enticing about it! I have done all the probing of my own anus with dildos, sex toys and other dick-like objects, and to me destroying the lining of your anus/intestine is only asking for severe health issues, either now or in the future. Fucking someone does nothing for me. It feels numbing. However, on rare occasions, yeah, I do like it and want it; but if it has to be “Let me fuck you, or no deal” out of the majority of gay men, then it’s going to be a solid NO DEAL.

  • @1funbottom: Goy, not Goyem. You may have to actually search and not just click on the first result.

  • Sean – “I would venture to say that you’re not really gay then.”

    As several posters have already noted, this is utterly idiotic. For a good many people (gay and straight, male and female) the rectum is an erogenous zone: It feels good to have it stimulated. Has nothing whatsoever to do with orientation. Being “gay” is about an emotional attraction to members of the same sex. If there’s anyone here who might “not really [be] gay,” I’d say it was you.

    Christopher – “I’ve also been asked to ‘infect’ guys which I’m incapable of doing since I’m on HIV medications since they’ve been available and have never had a ‘detectable viral load’.”

    You know this for a fact, do you? The most recent study — with PARTIAL results being announced just last week — cites a BEST GUESS that undetectable equals non-transmissive but also that the study will not be complete until 2017. My sense — and I am POZ — is that this most recent announcement and the rush to equate “undetectable” with “clean” (a term I despise) is going to result and a frightening spike in sero conversions over the next year or so.

    BTW, if you’ve “never had a ‘detectable viral load’,” how were you even diagnosed? You need to re-evaluate on your “facts” … ALL of them.

    Relative to the Blog post itself, I always considered myself a bottom but until recently, hadn’t gotten fucked in a decade or more: My life had gotten particularly stressful resulting in a sphincter that had clamped-down to the point where, if I could have swallowed coal I would probably have shit diamonds. In short, getting fucked was just impossible. In the past year or two things have changed and I’ve been able to bottom again and really enjoy it. In the interim, I became, I think, a reasonably skilled and attentive top (or “bottom in recovery” as I liked to call it … a guy who had been there, knew what a lousy top felt like, and tried to make up for their shortcummings). Yes, anal requires some work in terms of safety, prep, etc., but it can happen and be a pleasant experience for all concerned … but not necessarily everyone and/or every time or all the time.

  • As I stated before here I am total oral freak. While I have never been fucked or desired to be. My oral fixation/fetish
    is in its 44th year. While I also love to get my ass ate, I rarely see a ass that I want to eat. I find that almost all guys want anal as part of the deal. When I say oral only they balk at it. While I love getting my dick sucked, it is very rare that I get to suck a nice black dick here in Chicago.

  • I am a older bi guy that have tried it twice, 20 years ago and two weeks ago do not like it is to painful and the after effects are not good it is also not required to have good hot sex.

  • I don’t mind anal, it depends on the person I am with. If it is a “control” thing then I will not be with that guy. I like naked body contact, mutual jacking, frottage and 69. If you are not into anal, then you do what is comfortable to you.

  • Not into anal. Thought being gay meant having anal sex (don’t pick apart the semantics, you know what I mean). Tried it a few times, but don’t care for it. I just play with the front side. I view oral as more intimate, whereas anal as more animalistic. If you watch the facial expressions in porns, the top is usually teeth-grittingly determined to take aggressions out on the bottom, who has such a look of pain on his face (some scenes are a turn-off and hard to watch)

  • @Micah – uhh you’ll have to back that definition up with some proof – no where on the internet can your definition be found –

  • I consider myself to be a pure top and I don’t understand why so many other ‘top’ or vers dudes be insisting on fucking only “clean” asses. I’m a BEAST and I love ASS: clean ass, funky ass, loose ass, tight ass, dirty ass, and finally, SHITTY ass. I recognize that I’m fuckin a poop-shut, so I don’t get all grossed out if it gets a little messy. I’ve had plenty of pussy in my days but I have NEVER met a pussy that was tighter than some good ole boy ass. That being said, if you a REAL top then take the ass anyway you can get it! Nothin turns me on more than to fuck some shitty ass and the sex be so good that neither one of us wants to stop to clean up. Shit, we can clean up after I get my babies in your stomach, ha ha!

  • I love being rimmed but I won’t go near a man’s ass. I have had anal and sometimes it was okay and sometimes it was great. Depends on the guy and his cock. Huge cocks hurt and take too long to accomodate. Small cocks just don’t work for me. Best size for me is around 5 to 7 inches. I like thick after time to stretch out for him. Skinnny cocks are a waste of time.

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