8 May 2014

Speak Out : I’m Deaf And Dating Is Tricky!

Category: Speak Out

deaf

Hey guys,  I received an email from a cool dude, The12thSalmon, one of our loyal member. He’s been using A4A for years to find sex or to date guys. He told me he sometimes have a hard time meeting guys when he admits to them that he is deaf. He sent me a note 2 days ago asking me my opinion if he should or not post it in his profile etc.

I was really touched by him asking me this, first of all because he trusts me and knows I won’t judge him but also because I’m very sensitive with guys with different conditions and it makes me sad that because one person is different than the majority, he should be excluded. I was excluded when I was younger because I had pimples, because I was too skinny, because I was gay, because I had big ears etc…And it’s not fun to be excluded, for whatever reasons.

So, my friend The12thSalmon wants to know, do you guys want to know about one’s deafness upfront or wait until you meet on the first date? Is it something that would stop you from dating a guy? Would you date a deaf guy?

Thanks guys, greatly appreciated!

Dave

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77 comments for Speak Out : I’m Deaf And Dating Is Tricky!

  • When I was very little and growing up in a rural farm neighborhood my neighbors had a wood workshop under their house. They had a guy named Victor who used to help them out. He was deaf and mute , but they ,and all of us , treated him like he was a member of the family .
    I always wondered what became of him as I think now that I was very fond of him.
    About 35 years ago I met another guy with the exact same disability. I still see him semi-regularly and he’s a lovely guy and all of his friends have no disabilities. He’d make great material for anyone and I believe that ,truth be known , he’s done a lot better than I have. In fact he’s taught many of his partners how to sign and communicate with the hearing impaired.

    My moms , who grew up in the epicenter of WWII , always taught us not to treat others with handicaps as different or view them strangely. And that is where the problem lies I believe. Too many just have never had the exposure or given any thought to others who are ‘not like them’.

    Would I date someone who is hearing impaired ? Probably yes. It is trying sometimes as one’s ability to hear is their real connection to the world as Helen Keller once said . She observed that if she could have any of her senses returned it would be her hearing.

    In retrospect I think that I’d find it easier to be around someone who could hear but was mute based on what I’ve been exposed to.

    Sorry for boringly long post !

  • I would want to know ahead of time and the information wouldn’t stop me from meeting the guy. I would date a deaf guy.

  • You really need to know about deafness ahead of time simply because of a potential communications barrier. Only a very small percentage of hearing people know anything about sign language, and the deaf person may or may not be very understandable when/if speaking (depending on the degree of deafness, whether it is “at birth” or developed later, etc.). Not all deaf people are very good at lip reading, either. All that said, deaf people/people in wheelchairs/whatever can be just as interesting and exciting as so-called “normal” people. Deafness — by itself — is no barrier for me to get to know someone.

  • Someone being deaf wouldn’t bother me, or put me off from the person. However, with something so fundamental as conversation, I would want to know ahead of time, rather than having it “sprung on me”. As it happens, I have known deaf people, and I know some American Sign Language. So for me, personally, it would be great to meet a gay deaf guy.

  • I totally can relate. I’ve had hearing devices since the age of 5, having hearing loss from birth. My speech is hardly effected however since I picked up on lip reading at a very early age. It has been difficult in the gay community to be a deaf person, partially due to vanity, but also because of the club/bar culture. Excess noise is a major factor in communicating, and if the latest dance remix is blaring all around me, I guarantee I wont hear 99.9% of what someone is trying to say. Unforunately there have been many times that guys get turned off by me asking them to repeat themsevles multiple times, but I’ve gotten to the point of my life that if my hearing impairment is an issue for them, then to hell with them! Its their loss

  • This dudes profile is hot. He sounds like he knows how to have a great time. I wish he was in my city.

    I play with a deaf man and the best part is the communication.

  • There seems to be a disproportion of deaf guys in the gay community…I guess they, like many of us, grew to be gay because of that “different” fact. I’ve never dated a deaf guy, but my experience with meeting a few…very positive. They were cute and gym bodied…out of my league. I definitely would have been interested. I had a deaf encounter many years ago in the tubs….He was very hot, but it had nothing to do with his deafness. Hearing, deaf, young, old, fat, skinny….we’re all something. Embrace it

  • I would have no problem dating and/or hooking up with a deaf guy. I think it would probably be easier if he could read lips, as I only know about five signs. If I were to date a deaf guy I’m sure I would naturally start picking up more and more sign language. I’d probably start taking ASL classes too.

  • I am hearing impaired and have hearing aids. I tell my friends to speak a bit louder because of this. Whats really bad is to be playing real hard and one of the freakers start to whistle….most guys understand but the younger guys seem to have a problem with that. One said all he thinks of is his Grandpa, and he goes soft.

    Hope they never find themselves with this problem. My very best to all.

  • I used to hang out and play with a deaf guy. It really wasn’t an issue. We managed to communicate just fine. Was a nice guy!

  • I think this gentleman should do as he wants as far as what he publishes within his profile. That being said, if it were me, I would say plainly that I was deaf, an amputee, blind, in a wheelchair, or whatever was special about myself, with the consideration that I might limit may suiters, but those limitations would be worth hooking up or becoming friends with people who are not judgemental and shallow. Celebrate who you are as an individual, as each of us is. As much as people want to exist in a “group” we are each singularly wonderful in our own way. Be proud!

  • I would date a guy if he was deaf or blind. I’d even date a guy if he was in a wheel chair. Its no problem for me. As long as I’m attracted to him then I can look pass everything els. :-)

  • I’ve dated four or five deaf guys since I was in College a hundred years ago. The first one was a great lipreader and gorgeous, we saw each other for over a year but he ended up leaving for Gallaudet and worked for the Post Office for years. I miss him to this day.

    I’ve always known going in that there will be some challenges. I’m smart enough to have figured that out and to realize that there are challenges in ALL relationships. I think it makes more sense to put it out there and let those who are unable to accept the challenge walk away. It will be their loss and the advantage to the deaf person who doesn’t want to deal with the possible narrow minded rejection later.

    Best of luck to The12thSalmon. There are guys out there who won’t have a problem with his condition and who will be willing to work with him in making a relationship work. I know that as an AGING gay male, I might as well “put it out there” up front, because if someone isn’t going to be interested in this “OLD MAN” of 49, then I don’t need to waste my time trying to convince him.

    My two cents (rounded up for inflation).

  • I think it’s always best to be upfront. Besides it will help you weed out the jerks. Someone being deaf would definitely not keep me from enjoying their company. Have fun!

  • I am hearing impaired and tell guys up front when we meet that I am hard of hearing. I simply ask him to speak up and repeat when needed. I don’t have that information in my profile. I know guy in my city who is deaf. We communicate just fine with body language. ;-)

  • I love having sex with deaf guys. They are so much more into other senses. Also make incredible hot noises when they cum.

  • Met a wonderful young man from Healdsburg CA! Not only an attractive, sexy man, but very talented web designer/artist..Benjamin* And most dateable!

  • I would want to know in advance (so that I would could think about ways to make communication easier since I don’t know ASL), but it definitely wouldn’t be something that stops me from dating them.

  • I would definitely date a deaf guy! I think ASL is a beautiful language and would to be exposed to it on a personal level. He should definitely post it on his profile or at least let guys know early on that he is deaf. It is something people ought to know

  • If I was attracted to the guy, I’d have no problem dating a deaf guy, but I also do know some sign language. I have always found sign language to be a particularally interesting form of communication. When I worked for the company I previously worked for, they had one operator (that’s a machine operator, not a telephone operator for anyone who wants to make a joke) that was deaf. A couple of guys on the crew knew sign language and would talk to him, but I had yo write everything down to communicate with him. We later got a transfer from another department and she was also deaf, so I figured maybe they’d appricate the effort if I tried to learn some of their language, so I went home and learned the sign language alphabet that night. Then I could finger spell to them so at least when I didn’t have paper and pen handy I could use that. But I didn’t stop there. The first phrase I learned to say was “how do you sign…” and then I could finger spell whatever word I was wanting to learn. They were more than happy to show me, and reshot me if I forgot it and they really did appricate having someone else to talk to, and they were both very cool people. I will say this, whoever invented some of the signs had a very good sense of humor, if you don’t believe me find someone that knows ASL and ask them to sign the word “bullshit”. Hilarious! I figure it’s just like going to a different country that doesn’t speak your native language. If you don’t even try people will be rude, and ignore you, and treat you like they don’t care, where as if you are attempting (and I mean some effort before you travel there, maybe take a two or three week course and learn some common phrases and words, not just buy the whatever to English dictionary and look up every word while you’re standing on their streets lost) people will take extra time to try and help you and be incredibly helpful and courteous. They don’t care if you speak the language broken, they care that you have enough respect for them and their home to try and speak their language, not look like the typical American tourist and just expect everyone else to speak English.

  • Totally would date someone who is deaf. Im fluent in sign besides but everyone deserves love, no matter what.

  • I dated a guy who was deaf and upfront about it. I always asked people to be upfront about everything about them(the good, bad, & ugly). The reason why I asked this us because how gay people reject those who are “different” and love to talk about and spread lies about them. To me, theres nothing sexy than a guy who can flant, embrace, and love those things that make them different. In matter of fact, when i dated a deaf guy, i never noticed it. Plus to me it was fun talking to him in sign language while people are looking at us like we were crazy. The fact he was deaf never bothered me, it actually forced me to brush up on sign language. So yea i rather have someone be upfront about their insecurities rather its being deaf, hiv poz, or whatever it is.. FLAUNT IT LIKE YOU NAOMI CAMPBELL ON THE RUNWAY IN A MERCEDES BENZ WEEK’S FASHION SHOW!!!

  • Although one’s being deaf wouldn’t change anything if I were attracted to him, it IS something which should be disclosed at the beginning. People don’t like surprises when meeting someone offline. And besides, it would make for a very awkward meeting. I don’t say that it should be posted in one’s profile unless that person wishes it to be, but it definitely should be disclosed when talking to someone.

  • Deaf. So what?
    It’s 2014. There are plenty of ways to communicate … laptops, texting, paper and pencil. Even in most public settings.

    If guys will only date or look to become buds with hearing individuals, hey that’s their choice. But in the end, they’re the frogs that princes shine above. Good guys won’t even think about the effort it takes to deal with a small basket of logistics that make communication possible.

  • I would totally date a deaf guy. The opportunity to learn how he sees the world without noise, to learn sign language and to be a supportive boyfriend to a guy who not only has to be torn down by society for being gay but also from the gay community who thinks being gay and deaf is funny because gay men have to be “perfect”. Sign me up for a deaf guy anytime. A blind guy. A guy in a wheelchair. I see no disabilities just opportunities to love and learn.

  • I never got involved with a deaf guy I feel their spirits an I keep faith an dreams for individuals dealing with that god bless

  • I am dating a deaf guy now and he is the sweetest, kindest person you can ever meet . He read lips and he teaches me some sign language, so it’s all about the person if there is an attraction hey who care, personally I thing they treat you better than the regular guy. So dude it’s up to you if u can’t to put it on your profile, a nigga is ganna love and want to be with you for you

  • First off, I have hearing issues (I should wear hearing aids, but I hate them and don’t, I’d rather have problems hearing in a loud room than the tinny echos a hearing aid gives me.) so I can relate to that one. But I also know ASL and actually am working on getting Nationally Certified to interpret. Anyways, I’ve dated a few guys who communicated with ASL and would identify as Deaf. It’s not a big deal, even if you don’t know ASL there are still ways to communicate and lust is easy to get across, and love shouldn’t know any barriers. You never know where Mr. Right is going to be and hey I’ve done weirder things than learn a new language for a guy… (and to be honest, learning ASL was actually started for a cute guy, but now has become more of a professional thing.)

  • I can understand what is being said, when a person has a disability. I have met hearing impaired, and Deaf people, gay included. There are barriers, but of you are willing to try to communicate, then you can find out about each other. So, would i date a Deaf Man? I t would really depend on how we relate together.

  • I hooked up with a deaf guy met him on grindr when we met we used his iPad to communicate and after pleasantries he typed in all caps: LET’S GO TO THE BEDROOM AND FUCK!!! It was nice!!

  • I have a couple of gay friends (a couple) who are gay. I like them, but conversation is rough. We text back and forth.
    Would it prevent me from dating a deaf guy, No!
    If it is right them being deaf shouldn’t matter, we can all learn to overcome.

  • I never imagined that I would be with a deaf person ! Then one night in the bar I looked over a a table of deaf guys talking.. I was bored,approached them, and said I know a few signs mostly curse words (naturally) so we laughed and I turned away .. out of the corner of my eye I saw this cutie .. and I had no idea he was deaf and only spoke Spanish …So, I have learned a lot of sign, and knew Spanish, although im American born. In the two years that we are together( and yes its hard a times) but I found the best person ever !! He is better than any hearing person I have ever been with… so big deal he’s deaf… he has taught me soooo much about life… I love him so much… I could never imagine my life without him ..however should this relationship end ..we will always be together. I want him to get a the coclear implant but he is scared. so I can accept that.. I just hope that Im not holding him back from another deaf guy who can be better for him. I love my deaf man !

  • You know, as a gay black male, I often times find it hard to discriminate against others. A man can no more help the fact that he’s deaf, than another man can the color of his skin; so for me I honestly try to treat everyone equally. That being said, a disability like that is not at all a deal breaker for me.

  • I think its a good idea to know upfront. However, it wouldnt stop me from dating him. I actually happen to know some sign language, so I am sure we can work through any communication issues. :)

  • Seeing past the outer shell is important too, but too much shallow people can’t do that. I would not mind at all having a relationship with a deaf person and it would encourage me to learn sign language too.

  • He is not alone i am deaf in one ear and i wear a hearing aid in another i have meet some guys and they seem to be turn off with it and some dont mind. I think it would be best to let them know ahead of time i would not wont to waste there time or mind.

  • The truth never hurts. And that pertains to many aspects of gay men… I would date a truthful guy anytime!

  • I am hard of hearing and use hearing aids, I know some ASL,and I am down for meeting him if he is in vancity, and I am also down for learning more ASL to further my communication skills with the deaf community…

  • Put it out there. Let the shallow minded move on. I have a deaf friend and we communicated just fine. When we got to a point where we had something to say but could get our point across we used an app called word book. It looked like a pad with yellow pages with little especially on it. We would type it out and we got along just fine. Still good friends to this day. Now that my hearing has gone bad and I wear hearing aids, I am glad I didn’t let this stop me.

  • I have 3 cousins who are deaf and mute. I always wondered if it was genetic.

    In my late 20s, I met a guy on the dance floor in a club and we danced for less then an hour. I thought he was rather quiet, then I got to realize that he was both deaf and mute. He got to communicating with my limited sign language and then with pen and paper and he explained to me that he could feel the beat of the music. We spent the rest of the evening today and he eventually came home with me for that night.

    I knew it would be hard for us to communicate, but I was willing to learn since I did not think anything of the silence. Maybe it would have been great just to have a boyfriend who did not have to listen to all my rambling.

  • Both my mom and dad are deaf and so is my mom twin sister. I know sign language do I would not mind fucking or dating a deaf guy

  • I would like to know in advance of any condition that might impair our mutual enjoyment – so that I can compensate or work around them.
    Would it be insensitive to suggest making some “cue cards” with expected words or phrases?

  • I once flew to Baton Rouge LA to meet a young man who was deaf…and positive. Being positive myself and having self taught some ASL, I was not intimidated. We did a yahoo cam hookup where he could see me and I would sign and he could make out nearly everything. Things didn’t really go as well as planned but I saw a part of the country I had never been to, other than nearby Houston TX where I had lived for 8 yrs. We also went to NOLA for a day. This all happened 5 weeks before Katrina. Talk about timing…

    I find that deaf gay men are typically more affectionate, caring and accepting. They just want to be like everyone else, which, in reality they are.

  • It’s easy for people to say that they would date a deaf guy, but I wonder if all the people posting on here would do it if they knew how hard it actually is. I tried it, and it is very difficult unless you know sign language. Writing things down or texting everything gets old REALLY quick. Not only is it difficult, but I felt like I never really got to know the guy in the way that you do when you can actually talk to someone.

    Dating a deaf guy is very challenging. If you are up for the challenge then great, just be aware of the pitfalls because they are many. As for myself, after trying it once I don’t think I’ll ever do it again.

  • As long as you’re thin, you’ll be fine. Gay men are mostly self involved assholes who only care about whatever fantasy they have stuck in their head.

    So, if you’ve got a six pack and pecs of death you can be deaf and they won’t really care.

  • Yeah so I’m just gonna go ahead and say that it’s his profile stating that he’s not he’s not “here for an LTR so forget about it” that’s making it difficult for him to date rather than his hearing impairment. Just gonna throw that out there….
    Why would someone waste their time trying to date someone who is specifically opposed to it, handicap or not?

  • Being deaf would be a huge OK with me! My brother is deaf and I love to sign more than talking!

  • This reminds me of the song … Son of a Preacher Man. He was deaf and mute. Luckily I met him in a bar and his friend was able to introduce us. He was gorgeous and I felt inspired in the ways we communicated. Sex is a universal language and it was so great being with him, I tried to get in touch with him later. I had to go thru the operator who would type my message into something like Braille which got embarassing once I knew what I wanted to say to him. I don’t know if I ever reached him but he certaily reached me.

  • This is such a sad story. Who cares if someone is deaf.. or deaf and dumb or any other condition! They are HUMAN! I am human.. that is all that is necessary!

    god bless everyone!

  • Although I have never dated anyone with a disability I would so love to meet and give it a try. I would want to know the impairment up front as to know what to expect as far as communication. Because I love to communicate. And love to learn new things such as ASL.

  • I don’t think it matters one way or the other if he posts it or not, if the guy who is interested in him cannot get past that then he must be pretty shallow, I know this is not the same as a date, but I once had a hook-up with a Latino guy who did not speak english at all, and I do not speak spanish but we managed to make our intent know to each other and have sex using hand gestures and body language.

  • I would love to date a deaf guy. I speak ASL and have not used it to carry on a conversation in sometime.
    I wish this member the best of luck.
    HUGS DUDE

  • I been a hearing impaired of all my life. Does any of you guy know the word “Discrimination” mean to you!! Let just say you are in someone position as a deaf or hard of hearing, “How would you feel if you were rejected by a guy because you are deaf? How were you feel if you were been bully or being discriminated by a normal hearing guy? Yes that is really hurt!! We the deaf and hard of hearing guys are human just like you, we would like to be normal just like you. Once you get to know the deaf or hard of hearing guys, you will be surprised how friendly we are and how fun you can have. Yes guy, life is too short and life is really good. communication is an important to everyone, not just for normal hearing person.

  • If it’s a hookup, and we met up on here then I guess there’s no problem – we dn’t need to talk much and can probably get our points accross otherwise. If we wanted to date or be friends we’d have to figure out a way to talk to eachother. Isn’t it just that simple?

    There is a center near where I live for the desf snd mute. I’ve seen many actractive fellows from there that I would like. I even had a convo once with a really hot one but we had to rely on a signer to interpret.

    Guys if you’re attracted make the effort!

  • I would love to date a deaf guy and to learn sign language. I’ve learned sign language over the years, enough now to carry on a good conversation with someone who’s deaf but you quickly forget it also if you can’t regularly practice with someone. I would love to date a deaf guy so he could teach more and so I won’t forget as quickly. And besides, deaf guys are so erotically sensual.

  • I met a deaf guy one time, and everything was fine. We used a note pad to communicate as I do not sign, and we had a great time. I think anyone can overcome anything if they want to, but I do think it needs to be in the profile so people know what to expect, that way they are not surprised, and it would weed out the very shallow ones from the beginning.

  • I would certainly like to know ahead of time, so that I can try to learn some of the basics of sign language ahead of time, and make sure I have a way of communicating. To me, it wouldn’t hinder the chance for a date to know up front. But to find out after the fact might make for an awkward evening, and might feel like a lack of trust on your part, The12thSalmon.

    Please trust that the guys that are worth meeting are worth telling. ^_^

  • When using social media it’s nice to know what a guy is bringing to the date. Communication is important. Frankly it’s hard to sign with your hands doing other stuff. Then again mom taught me not to talk with my mouth full.
    date/trick with a good looking deaf guy. No problem. Just have to adapt

  • I’m partially hearing impaired and wears hearing aid all my life. Never accrued to me that it sometimes be an issue to some others of any forms of disabilities. I’ve tried to be upfront about it before meeting someone. I’ve Always considered to be normal without the thought of being hearing impaired.

  • Of course, always best to be upfront to letting guys know so they can deal it or don’t bother it and u won’t have your time goes to waste once u guys meet up in person. I would know because I was there before. Yes I am also Deaf.

    On other note: tip to these guys who aren’t familiar with Deaf (*yes I use caps due to identify the difference in between of deaf and Deaf- deaf w/o caps usually associate with hearing people and not big time involved in Deaf community, prefer to speak than using ASL while Deaf do the opposite*) community do considered terms like “hearing impaired” or “mute” is offensive, so call us deaf instead. :-)

  • It’s always best to let someone know upfront, noone likes a suprise.

    I’d date a deaf guy, but I do not know ASL. The duy is handsome enough and seems like a nice guy. But in his profile he says “be deaf or ASL friendly”, maybe if he was open to the idea of helping to teach someone ASL he would have more oportunity. The best is to approach it with a sense of humor when learning.

  • Being deaf wouldn’t stop me from dating a guy. I would like to know ahead of time to avoid any awkward moments of thinking he’s ignoring me or something. But it could be really cool. especially if he taught me sign language

  • Your blog was very touching but also very disturbing. As gay guys, we’re already the minority, so why should we exclude anyone else that’s gay just cause he’s different. Wake up people, we’re all gay brothers under the skin and stop excluding and judging one another, society already does enuf of that shyt already.

  • I would totally date a deaf guy. It doesn’t matter to me how they r on the outside. Inside is what counts to me. If he was worth it I would learn sign language for him so we could talk and stuff. It b cute lol

  • I am blind and use a guide dog. I find after sending a picture or telling the guy in advance they tend to stop talking or want nothing to do with you. It is sad but that is how society especially in the gay community treats others.

  • both my parents were deaf,i’ve never had the chance to hook up with a deaf guy yet but I would if given the chance my ASL is rusty I’m sure.to answer his question yes be upfront about it

  • I believe he should be up front about it. I know a few deaf people but I lack signing skills so it can be hard to communicate. I have learned a little ASL but not enough to really converse. That might be the problem, I wonder if guys are not turned off by his deafness but rather, afraid they will not be able to communicate effectively enough to have a quality date or encounter. I think we humans are more afraid of differences than turned off by them. Just my thoughts. I hope this dialogue helps you find someone soon.

  • Of course i would date a deaf guy. Most of the time i find myself drawn to guys who are the complete opposite of me in many ways..so i think a deaf person would teach me alot and vice versa. At times i also find myself attracted to men with scars to their faces…i dunno ..maybe its the bad boy thing im drawn to. Good luck to everyone in their dating sagas…..take care

  • Dear The12thSalmon, are you happy with the answers? :)
    I did not see ANY mean answers, I didn’t even had to delete any bad comments. ALL the comment were positive.
    Thanks guys!

    Feel free to contact him online and say HI, I’m sure The12thSalmon will be happy. He might not be your type, maybe he is, but just a “hey, what’s up” will make him smile!

    Take care everyone
    Dave

  • As someone who speaks sign language fairly comfortably, of course I have no issues whatsoever with a Deaf guy in any way. However, even if I didn’t sign, I’m not petty enough to consider someone’s manual mode of communication something to be flagged or ragged on. If a guy is interested and turns out to be Deaf, don’t be a dick and turn him down. Who knows, he could be the most amazing person ever, but you’re too stuck in your ableist mindset to consider that.

  • I would not have aproblum dating anyonewith a disability. I have a problem ether Im to old and Im pos . I thought we were more educated

  • i dated a deaf man once. he was hot! visually pleasing, very fuckable and very intelligent. one of the best fuck memories i have. plus he was a great cook at brekfast. we meet a couple times after that.

    i didnt know sign. he wanted us to continue seeing each other but i turned him down as he was out of my league.

    to this day, i still kick myself, no such thing as out of my league.

    he’s deaf-go for it, grab it. may be the best man you’ll ever have.

    everytime i see deaf guys, i still look to see if its him or not.

  • I am deaf and I have been on adam4adam for a long time. I made it clear that I’m deaf. I’ve had guys who test drove my dick and ass and never came back again. Dont give up. Some one will be out there for you!.

  • I have no problem getting to know (or trying to) a deaf guy, however I think a meaningful emotional relationship would be difficult just because of the changes in communications habits that would have to be made. I talked, and then had sex with a guy who was just partially deaf, and I just couldn’t seem to ever speak loudly or clearly enough because he kept having to ask “What?” It became very frustrating. He was a nice guy and all, but I couldn’t stand constantly repeating myself. The communication barrier really is an issue here.

  • Hi, I am Deaf myself, and I would have to agree with him, every time I have to tell guys before that I am Deaf, most of them are cool with that, but those little group of guys who thinks they are all high and mighty do find it a turn off and always come up with excuses like I don’t feel comfortable doing things with Deaf people. Granted, it might be because they have not had any experience, but at least they could have tried and It wouldn’t bother me if things didn’t go well. Its the today society that most guys are so judgmental toward everything. Just wish guys would be open to dating or having sex with Deaf dudes.

    Thanks!

  • Hello, I am a single male who has a hearing loss. most people know I have a hearing loss and most of them do accept the fact that I have a hearing loss. I had my ups and downs with different guys. I wish people weren’t so judgemental at times. communication is key to relationship. we need to communicate either by learning how to sign or lip read.

  • I’ve read every single post here and I’m so incredibly moved that EVERY POST has given a thumbs up! WOW!!!!! Way to go, men!
    That being said, as long as a heads up was given, I would also have NO problem whatsoever with meeting and/or dating a deaf man. I’ve known several from outside the context of m2m and they’ve all been incredible.
    Deaf men who are gay/bi want and need the same kind of loving and affection what those of us who can hear need. Should I look down on a man because he cannot hear? of course not. He may have lost his hearing after birth, or was born deaf. That’s no fault of their own.
    To see them communicating with their hands is a beautiful sight. I know just a little sign language and bet they could tech us if we were willing to learn.
    To The12thSalmon, we’re behind you! Go for it! If there’s someone who isn’t interested and judges you because of your deafness, that’s HIS problem, not yours. Don’t give up..hang in there.
    ALL THE BEST! Lovingly, Your Papa Bear

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