28 Jul 2014

Speak Out : Younger And Older

Category: Speak Out

older

 

(This blog post was written by A4A member Love 102)

“I do like guys who are ages 28-40, abit older than myself. I tend to bond with them more . Maybe it’s their intellectual mindset,  their sense of humor or how romantic they are based on their level of experience.  From my experiences, the ones that I have dated in this age group don’t take me seriously when it’s time to talk about a relationship. It’s like they feel insecure with a younger man.
I am just wondering  what cause such anxiety with older men? Are they fearful of their assets as it relates to gold digger?  Just not ready? Or just can’t deal with the drama of a younger guy?

Putting all such fears behind, there are young guys who are genuinely interested in older guys for all the right reasons.

With that said I would like to hear what older guys like about younger ones.”

Love102

111 comments for Speak Out : Younger And Older

  • Their vitality. Eagerness. Their young appearance high temperament. Always excited. Good vibration.

  • Well done…from miami beach

  • NEED to comment but will be brief.
    -finances are a concern
    -becoming seriously involved then your partner “grows/matures” and he’s looking for someone closer in age
    -I’ve often “been there done that”
    -family and friends opinions
    I’ve been around a while (47). I’ve witnessed and experienced many situations I never imagined could happen both good and bad.
    This list of concerns is just the tip of the iceberg.
    Took me a few years to accept our relationship as is. Fuck it! We’re compatible and there’s no guarantee with any relationship.
    Boyfriend is 27. Only one friend (of his) ever had anything negative to say, not that it matters at this point. Been together 5 years, living together 4 years. Already been through all the normal challenges and never had to “work” at our relationship.
    Cheers and hope I shed some light.

  • My husband and I have been together 16 years. With that said….I’m the young one. My husband is 24 years older than I am. I knew that when we met. He knew that when we met. There has never another to turn my head. We are equals when it comes to assets…I make a very nice living,so does he. We are equals…partners. There’s never been an indiscretion on my part, and none on his part, that I know of. I’m sure we are a rarity…but I can’t imagine myself with anyone else, much less anyone my own age.

  • I’m an older guy who prefers younger guys. At 49, most of the guys I meet are in their late teens and early 20′s. I love the energy and exuberance for life that younger guys have. I feed on that energy, and that allows me to heighten my experiences with them. They are less inhibited, especially in bed. And the sex is fantastic! I’ve been with my current young man for 4 years now. I met him when he first entered college, and just turned 18. It was a hookup, but turned out to be a long lasting relationship. Sometimes, we don’t connect on all levels because of the age difference, but in the end, we manage to make it work. The rewards (especially in bed!) are worth the effort.I don’t mind guys my age, but so many lack excitement and a sense of adventure. And so many just let themselves go physically. Pot bellies, bad grooming, and poor sense of fashion are turnoffs.Given a choice, I’d chose a younger guy over one my age most any day.

  • In the past I always dated guys older than me 5 years and up some even more than 15 years. As you said one tend to bond more, its about all aspects of maturity. Then a few years back I met this guy 10 years my Junior I was 37 and him 27. Fell promptly in love and he was good to me to a point when the mental abuse started. Despite all of that I still continued to marry him. Got to the point where I almost committed suicide as a result of his abuse. Finally got divorced. Well after this experience with younger guys I thought that I will guy back being the younger one but it does not work for me. I used to get offended when younger guys approached me but I know where they come from I was there. The young ones I date are real gentlemen open the doors for me, put on the light when I get up t night. Its not about assets and security etc. Some young guys are more mature than my peers and older guys. It does one’s ego good if a younger person is attracted to you. Am 46. A4A profile name: sonyarc2

  • I don’t think it’s assets, or the “gold digger” label that’s a concern … Younger guys tend to be idealistically aggressive with a kind of Romeo / Juliet syndrome … I think the anxiety is more in confidence around a younger person’s commitment to stay. As you age, reality sets in, and our gay culture tend to idolize the “perfect” man who’s perfectly fit in physical, vocational and motivational drive overall. It can be overwhelming for an older man, who is a little past that age of commercial trends and hipster looks and attitudes. The natural ability to keep a thin body at an age where the metabolism naturally declines is difficult …. anyway there’s more … this is just a small part of how I feel. And I’m 60; look 45 …. average body size 5’11″ x 185# and a 33 waist. I use to have a 30 waist in my 40′s … easy to keep.

  • We older men fear and know it won’t last. Younger guys seem to break out of relationship , we older men in my opinion are looking for more than just sex, and at some ages it just not sex every night, sometime were just not up for it, but when we are it romantic and not just lust.

  • I do not worry about the age of the guy i am seeing. As long as they are working,and have a place to live that they are paying for. I not play sugar daddy to anyone.

  • In my mid 20s I was attracted to older men. My first true love was a guy 20 years solder than me. However, now that I’m in my early 30s I’ve sort of moved on from that phase. I am still attracted to older men but my preference now is guys within 5 years (plus or minus). I realized that while older men generally provide stability, they do in fact have different tastes and ways of looking at life (due to age gap). For me it got to the point where I wanted someone to relate to. Simple things like going to the beach at the spur of the moment were complicated because for the most part older guys (at least the ones I dated) wanted time to plan. Or wearing a crazy costume to a Gaga concert would be greeted with rolling eyes. Generational gaps are hard to bridge I think. My two cents.

  • Let the truth be told, when it’s all been said and done, it’s because we’re SCARED. Some will disagree with me on this and that’s cool…. but when you stop and really think about it… you’ll know that I’m telling the truth.

  • As a man, 50, I never had much serious interest in younger guys until one picked me up online. What I assumed would be a quick trick, turned out to be an ongoing three year relationship so far. As it turned out, he is only interested in men 40+. I assumed, he was either a gold digger or had serious daddy issues. Come to find out, it’s neither. He genuinely prefers older men exclusively. No attraction to guys his own age. Just his thing.

    That’s a hard concept to get your head around. “Why would a guy 22 be seriously interested in a 50 year old or vice versa?” I kept telling him and myself that he needed someone closer to his own age, that he has the rest of his life to live and I”m starting to consider retirement, etc. But at the end of the day, none of that seemed to matter to him, so I figured, what the hell, why not?

    Part of the fear on the mature end is that you will spend years in a relationship with a much younger guy and as you age, he will loose interest and you will be left alone. And we all know that aging is challenging, especially in the gay community. The chances of being left by another 50 year old man, seem to be less likely, or at least that was my perception. I don’t want to be left alone later in life to have to start over. But as he explained, and I know, you can be left alone by someone later in life for a variety of circumstances. So I’ve stopped living my life in fear of the unknown future and started living in the present.

    People do always assume that I’m out with my son, which makes us laugh and we have fun with that. Then there’s the whole older/younger hot sex that is fun to explore..

    My younger guy is very loyal, well educated, well read and sexy. So I decided, embrace that which I don’t fully understand. Love is a rare commodity in life and hard to find. So enjoy the gifts that come your way as they come. Not as you think they should.

  • I have been dating younger guys….I am 49 and I am dating a 25yo right now he makes me feel young but he doesn’t know what he wants out of a relationship….I am white and he is black….sex is great…sometimes he is distant….I believe it’s his young age and not knowing what he wants right now….hard to deal with sometimes but we do love each other.

  • many like myself get skiddish of younger guys because lots of us have been played. Im 53 and don’t mind dating a younger guy that can accept the age difference and not worry what their so called friends think of the relationship. For me let the relationship develop and don’t let in any outside influences, love is a great thing.

  • I like younger guys myself. For myself and I sure other guys out there. They are afraid to fall in love with a younger guy only to have him leave as we age. Because we will have to slow down sooner, wont be able to party, go all the time like we used to. Some of use will lose interest in sex. Might not want it every night like we used to. No matter how much someone tells those will not matter, all I said above is in the back of our minds. There is nothing we can do about it. So young guys if you really love someone older. Dont hold back let them and be understanding if they are slow to come around.

  • 40 or 50 with a 20something doesn’t thing the kid will be around for the long haul…we all want to grow old with someone…god forbid if I had to go out and look for a man at 54!!!

  • I like men of all ages. When I was younger I liked older men. Just liked the experience factor. I think it is the vigor and enthusiasm that a mature younger guy brings into a relationship. One that is sincerely into me for me and not just a daddy piece of ass for him.

  • I like men of all ages. When I was younger I liked older men. Just liked the experience factor. I think it is the vigor and enthusiasm that a mature younger guy brings into a relationship. One that is sincerely into me for me and not just a daddy piece of ass for him.

  • As a guy in my 30s, i don’t date men who is not atleast over 27 (like them close to my age).. The reason(s) for that is the fact most of the guys in their twenties are gold diggers, want a sugar daddy, broke, don’t have or want a job and not to mention most are drug users, and full of drama, but again thats me. I don’t like them that much older than me either.. I don’t need or want a daddy and most guys get upset cause i tell them i don’t need or want a daddy.. I spoil the guy I’m with cause he deserves it and i like to get spoiled by him cause i deserve it.. We all have our preferences so if the guy you like is not feeling you as a bf, move on and find someone who will.. Thats how i meet my husband and had 3 wonderful years of marriage with him before his passing in January..

  • I was in a relationship with a young guy. we met when I was 35 and he was 22. it went on for 6 years. it had nothing to do with assets as he never really asked for or wanted material things. the generational gap began to seriously effect is however when he continued “chatting ” with men online. I came of age when there were no cell phones and computers but to someone his age they were an integral part of normal existence . he considered this behavior a perfectly acceptable way of passing time. however what it ultimately did was destroy our relationship and a substantial portion of my self esteem in the process. as older men we are more comfortable in our emotions and more easily able to express them however younger men from the modern era have far fewer boundaries on what they consider innocent . I gave freely of my love and affection while my younger partners online behavior placed me in a position where I had to constantly feel that he was always in search of something better or “greener grass”. while he just dismissed it as chat, it was still chat that always les to questions about sex and invitations to meet. it just wasn’t good as it always caused me to wonder and left my ability to trust anyone severely damaged.

  • I’ve always loved the company of younger men. Young, masculine and fit guys turn me on. I’ve had several partners in my 61 years and they all have been younger. The daddy/son role is very hot!

  • I’m a 38 year old who enjoys younger men, my ex and I were together 10 years. He was killed 3 years ago in Afghanistan, well since then I have tried this dating thing again, I’m way out of practice lol. Most of the guys I have met are 22 to 27 range, and seem to live in the drama of the gay world, I’m very conservative as I am a military officer, and this type behavior is not what I am comfortable around. Also most young guys that I have met are interested in your financial status, so I have shied away from this lifestyle thinking it is better to be alone than to support a person for sexual satisfaction. Guys my age are more set with watching the news and dinner at 530 every evening than the more energetic and spontaneous life I enjoy. That being said if I ask you to dinner then I am buying but not paying for your gas for the next week, oh and the I lost my wallet line I have heard 4 times can you spot me a hundred lol. I like younger cause energy level but refuse to be a sugar daddy.

  • I like younger because the energy and im 57 but still very active sexually, my experience is half and half. .most guys want a sugar daddy ,im not one. Still single here hoping to find a true love.

  • I’m twenty and I do find older men attractive. However, I won’t date one. If I’m with someone above 30, our relationship is mostly sexual in nature.

    I know very well the incompatibilities of being with older men, even if I find them as attractive as guys my age, that’s why I at least allow myself to have a bit of fun, possibly even fwb. Who knows? Maybe I’ll reconsider one day. But for now, I stick to my rule.

  • creepy dynamic borne of pathologies on both sides

  • Then again sum younger gentle men seek mature because at the end of the day what can some 1 in my age bracket teach me that I have not or am not going thru myself . Besides it seems as if the youth today scare the older men away with this sugar daddy stuff and to much extra ….

  • I think many of the previous posters are missing the point of this blog… it’s not about preferring younger/older guys.

    It’s about relationships, not just sex.

    I’m older (51), and many young guys approach me, most of them just wanting ‘to be with an older guy’. Other than that, we couldn’t be more different. Most of them want you to pay for everything, and keep them entertained. Some of them have several older guys they spend time with, ‘spreading the wealth’ so to speak. If they don’t like one, he gets dropped from the list.

    Very few younger guys actually want a long term relationship with an older guy, and it’s true, they’ll move on once that man is too old for them. It’s not like they’ll have a hard time finding another older guy willing to put up with them.

  • Simply, younger men turn me on. I’ve had the best experiences with the younger ones. They’ve usually turned out to be everything they say they are – they’re polite, and have mutual understanding of what we’re both looking for. I’m a good judge of character and know what I’m getting into. In it for the person as much as for the sex.

    There is definitely a problem with older guys not being welcomed on certain sites, but not here.

  • At 51, I love to fuck and get fucked by guys in their teens, 20s and 30s. I love that they are always hard and full of cum. I love that there are younger guys out there who still want to get fucked by me and fuck me. My hat is off to them. I can still take as much sex as they are willing to take or dish out. Let’s hear it for the boy!

  • mike: ah ya ? why? because u said so?

  • Why not?
    If both parties are into each other then go for it. I see some (few) narrow-minded comments here. Some pretty scary, judgemental guys on here.
    Live and let live. Mind your own business otherwise.
    :)

  • At 54, I long for a relationship with a younger man, but not just a sexual one. I want to commit to someone who will appreciate my experience, accumulated resources, loyalty, and love. I just haven’t found such a young man yet. I have to believe there are some out there, and so I don’t give up on my dream.

  • My husband is 28, I’m 56. We’ve been together for almost 8 years. He’s Brazilian, I’m European-American.

    After an initial hookup, we just kept hooking up, with no thought of ever making it anything else, but over the next few months, it morphed into something more.

    He has a rock-solid career, and there’re no daddy complex issues. We still get the occasional rude comment when we’re out in public, but it’s increasingly rare, and usually limited to travel within the US. In Europe, South America, and the Caribbean, we don’t hear anything of the sort.

    Outside the US, it’s not as uncommon to see mixed-age couples, I find. It’s also not as common to find the pettiness in the gay communities abroad that you see here, so that may account for why it’s considered more socially acceptable.

    Regardless, we’re happy and that’s all that matters.

  • This blog only asks for the opinion of one side of the spectrum but, I feel the need to share my perspective. For me, I have never had a stable life. Partially of my own decisions, and also partially where I came from. I am full of life, posses a visceral heart, and I enjoy making someone’s life better than it was before. In exchange I crave the stability, the security, and the devotion of my partner, as I admit my dysfunction freely, I am unable to provide those qualities solely for myself. My heart is my wealth. And typically it is a mature soul that notices such subtitles, it is symbiotic relationship.

  • Some young guys do in fact seek out and “play” older guys, and once bitten they (we) are leery of getting involved with another of a younger generation.

    For those couples of different generations who are in a “real” relationship that has worked long term, congratulations! Really…

    In addition to the sometimes shady agendas and motivations of the younger guy in a relationship, let’s remember there are also older guys who seek younger exclusively and place them in difficult positions of involuntary servitude. That seldom ends well either.

    Let’s just be honest and admit that cross-generational relationships are easy to start and extremely difficult to maintain for all the reasons others have stated in this thread. When they work without one party “playing” the other they are just as good and valid as same-generation relationships. It just doesn’t often end up that way.

  • Older guys were once younger too . For the record we are not talking about forever on the first date or even the 10th unless its about the politics and equality btw .all good things . Just have some fun younger guys and think outside the box .

  • When I was 16 I started seeing two men in their early 50s and by 17 I had a third older man. Quite obviously all three of them wanted me for the sexual thrill of being with a young fit guy, but what I learned from them was that the true measure of a man is how self-sufficient, educated, and sophisticated he is.

    All three knew each other and they were unique because after they finished biting the bed pillows they took a lot of time guiding and mentoring me. I learned a lot about fine wines, how to make the perfect martini, dressing well, and appreciating fine cars.

    I’m 28 now and I am self-sufficient, educated, and more sophisticated and I would not have gotten this far were it not for the three men I was seeing. They were my gay grandfathers. Sadly one has passed away and the other two are just friends these days because they just can’t take me anymore in bed. LOL but I love them dearly.

    I wasn’t after them for their money, but I was keenly aware that I would not have their respect if they did not see me running the bases. I graduated high school with honors and went to college and now have my PhD.

    In terms of relationships, studies show that a 10-15 year age gap in gay relationships makes them more stable, but that is predicated on both men being gainfully employed.

    I was unique–I think–because even though the three men had stature and economic power over me, I was my own man in the sense that I had strong goals in life and to this day I am a hard worker. The five years I was seeing them were magical for me.

  • I’m 55 and in general I prefer guys in their twenties. I’ve had two boyfriends close to my age and two in their mid twenties. I found that I don’t generally think like people my age in terms of both philosophy and science, and though I was together with all four boyfriends for a minimum of two years, the relationships with the younger guys persevered because of commonalities discovered and developed during our times together. I mean, as a rule guys my age don’t like to stay up all night talking or playing video games or partying, and I still love to do that. I love extreme sports, I’m not afraid to make mistakes and admit when I do. In general I’ve found that guys my age are much more crabbed in their thinking when it comes to that stuff. I’m not even going to go into trying to get them to stay healthy and in shape. So, why did you break up then you ask? It’s unbelievably complex of course, but basically both times it was due to outside pressure on the younger guys. I hate that some people can’t stand it when there’s a 20+/- year difference between two people who love one another. I also hate that they’re expert at making people miserable. The guys my age and I just drifted apart due to boredom.

  • I have always been drawn to older men; starting in college my first ‘buddy’ was as 50 yo I met in the park. What did he offer: advice, wisdom, attention, affection, all the things you’d want from boyfriend. Is there a daddy complex thing within all this..? Perhaps-but so what! Sexually–older guys are the Best!

  • I was never much attracted to younger guys. In fact, I found myself drawn to men older than myself. Now, I’m in a relationship with someone much younger–he’s 26 and I’m 49. It’s working great, though I’m unsure if that’s because of the age difference, or simply because we are well-suited for each other. I will admit, however, that I am concerned about our future. The likelihood that a man his age will remain committed to any relationship long-term is low, I think. I do worry that, if our relationship ends in 10 years, I’ll be single and that much older–and back on the market. Still, none of my relationships with guys my own age have lasted 10 years, so I’m enjoying this one while it lasts.

  • o wow young and fll of cum and every thing else im 60 for me 40 is it than a person thinks about money and sharing food rent etc. it takes two too young and thier minds are into done thing closes bars drugs not paying bills etc and hooping every ones ass they met when you young you should have fun past 35 you start to think about what you really wood like to have peace of mind and a good hard cock lol safe place to sleep it not all about sex its life in general u

  • I’m the younger one at 46 and him at 62, been together for 16 years. Most thought when we first got together it would only last 4 months. The only thing that bothered me the most was most refereed to him as ‘my dad’ especially when out and and restaurants.
    Now our new hurdle will be his retirement…. he wants to flock someplace warmer…. but he kept me in mind to open a business there… restaurant, gay bar, coffee shop, or maybe even a gay resort.
    But I have a feeling I may become lonely and alone at the end though….
    oh btw ya everything was shared or paid for 50/50.

  • I just ended a relationship with a guy 26 years younger than me. He was the youngest guy I’d been with and at first the age thing bothered me but I realized it was only a number and he is only attracted to older guys. (His ex is 69). In the end it was clear he wasn’t emmotionaly mature enough to be in the kind if relationship I want/need. Kinda heartbreaking really because I know he loves me and I do love him but sometimes that just isn’t enough. But what a shame to lose such an opportunity at real happiness. I don’t think I’ll ever become involved with anyone that much younger than me again. I don’t think I could go through it all again. But I’ll love him always and miss him everyday.

  • Im 22. Growing up ive never gotten along with people my own age. Even now my closest friends are 5> my age so its only natural im attracted to and date the same way I guess.

  • I think we forget about how quickly things have changed in the USA and the world for gay people. I’m 37 but people always mistake me for 27 or 28 so I have the luxury of being mistaken for a younger guy. In reality, though, I had quite a journey to go through before I came out. And the men who came before me had an even greater journey in order to set the foundation of all the liberties that we have now. I think for older men we’re hesitant because the younger gay generation, for the most part, has had different hardships to deal with but generally have a pretty good arena in which they can be gay, open and not harassed. (I live in Texas so believe me, I understand that is a very very general statement).

    I think that in the beginning of all of this, too, gay meant SEX! All the old videos I’ve watched has so much to do with where gay guys hooked up in the 70s and 80s…the emergence of bathhouses, gay clubs, etc. We’ve sort of built our foundation on principals that center around getting off instead of stressing the importance of how to be in a relationship, how to take care of your fellow person, how to treat one another with respect and so on. So all of that adds to it, I suppose.

  • I am a 57 year old African American Man. I am constantly being approached by young men in their early 20′s 30′s, and it’s quite flattering. I haven’t been in a serious relationship in 17 yrs. and my ex was 7 yrs. my jr. He wanted a ring and to move in together after several years of being a couple. I wasn’t ready on many levels.
    When a young man tells me, age is just a number, it validates my opinion on being very apprehensive about dating much younger guys. Age is not just a number, it is a life of experiences, many of which one does not want to repeat and most of them are the ones who have made us who we are, good or bad.
    Young people for the most part, and I generalize based on my experience, are of the mind set, that, they are infallible.
    They know all and are not very good listeners. LTR goes way beyond the bedroom. Compromise, sacrifices, finances, employment all of which have a direct effect on how a relationship can prosper…allowing ones partner to make mistakes and learn from them. Understand that there is a level of Wisdom that comes with maturity. How that wisdom is shared can come across as helpful or not, depending on it’s delivery and circumstance.
    If a man 20 to 30 years my Jr. is willing to understand that age is more than just a number and strives to bring 100% commitment to the relationship, while still being able to keep his Identity, then I’m open. I think that dating is very underrated and if we can spend some quality/sans sexual time getting to know one another…who knows what could possibly grow.
    There are things that we older men need to do and that is let our young partners make their mistakes and grow from them. Be there for them but not always to fight their battles. We need to allow them their independent rights. Their ability to make their own decisions, mistakes and not treat them like a son or child if you will.

  • I have been always attracted to men older than me probably because I like the wisdom and patience they seemed to display. I have been in relationship/dated older much of my time since I was out. Much to my displeasure, I discovered some older men can be just as fickle as some younger men. So I don’t limit myself to exclusively dating older men anymore.

  • My buds (meaning guys I have relationships with. Yeh, they’re physical, but they’re also emotional and intellectual as well. Some of them have gone on for years.) come in a variety of ages. Most, close to my own. some a decade, two, or few younger. Some a decade or more older than me.

    What’s the issue? Why for some is there a magic “Age Restriction”?

    If you’re looking for Mr. Right Forever (really how many gays are? Most who say they are are liars.) maybe age can be an issue.

    But most gay guys are TOTALLY incapable of maintaining (hell, even STARTING) a long term relationship. So what’s the whole age hang up?

    Oh, yes. Drama. It allows many many gay guys to be drama queens. It allows them to moan and groan that they just can’t find “Mr. Exactly the Hell Perfect Nothing Is Negotiable Right”.

  • At 52….I am a truly versatile man who has no preference for top or bottom but require both and preferably from the same man….that being said…I like men…as long as you are legal and not on a breathing apparatus…..I don’t care about age…or color or dick size…..well o.k. maybe I do care just a little about that….LOL…I have dated men much younger and somewhat older……They all have something to offer…..I give and receive from the heart….but have always been self sufficient and admire that quality in others…..Trust me…even some of us older guys are looking for sugar Daddy’s….LOL I am not one….but will give freely to the man I love as long as he is respectful….sincere and genuine…and understands that I owe him nothing just because of his younger age…..Does that make since?

  • Where are these younger men who like older men for more than just their money? I’m 50 and that’s all the young men in Atlanta, especially on Adam4Adam want!

  • At 51, I have no real preference either way. I enjoy the company of most any guy ages 18 to 60′s. I’ve been with guys a good deal older than myself who were absolute beasts in the sheets!

  • There is such a huge range of personalities and maturities and issues at every age. I can’t see ruling anyone out because of age. The two best relationships of my life were with men about 15 years different from myself. One was 15 years younger,the other 15 years older. Both were great men who made my life better for knowing them. I just want a caring honest guy. The rest can be worked out.

  • The question posed was ‘what older guys like about younger ones’, so I’ll address that. I like the energy, lack of inhibition, willingness to learn, open-mindedness, and spontaneity of men younger than myself. Too many men my age on this site are out of shape, or in relationships and just looking for sex on the side. I’m in my mid fifties, blessed with good genes and health, single for a few years and much prefer men in their early forties up to my age. By the same token, I want to date a guy who is responsible (financially, mentally and physically) and not someone who is looking for someone to ‘take care of them’… That might be a pipe dream, but for me, that’s my preference.

  • The same things can be both a plus and a minus in dealing with younger guys….. They always seems to e in a rush to get or gain, or have, or show off. Lot’s of patina short on polish
    The young ones think in terms of absolutes, and approach things emotionally–wither by repressing it, or overly expressing. There is a constant need to move, to press on to get to the “next” happy thing
    Young men are attractive when not glued to their I-Phones, but they seems to not be able to communicate other than “sup”!
    But the physical energy, and great looks and bodies often tend to become empty shells filled with old i-tunes and some fairly shallow values
    Not that I feel at all strongly about it or anything

  • well Im 52 and my bf of 2 years is 22. Sometimes the physical reminder of how he looks can be a bummer…I’ll never look like that again. Although I dont look my age, it can be a hard reminder of the passing of time.

  • I’ll state the obvious: there’s going to be a huge lack of compatibility unless the older guy is ridiculously immature. I sense that too many people confuse attraction with compatibility, and make an appropriate life choices based on attraction. that being said, I think people should date who they want for whatever reason they want.

  • Depends on the dude(s) involved……it’s complicated dating older dudes they feel this need to tell you things, from there experience when it isn’t asked…others try to buy you, I hate taking money from older dudes because usually out comes with expectation of sex, however some genuinely are nice, and sometimes it the other way around only messed with older dudes when I wanted to get out the house, I didn’t mess with a dude because he had money but because he actually liked me and I liked an escape…

  • I was raised with a wide variety of people, age had nothing to do with experience or maturity, which aren’t always synonymous. It’s about the connection between both. I was never attracted to men my age or younger, still am not, on a physical level, for the most part, rarely dated with men under 30, when I myself was under 30, there just wasn’t the mutual interests. No matter the age, it can look good, but if he’s an jerk, he’s an jerk. I think people base a lot of their requirements on very rigid and narrow set of statistics, which can change at any time, not the person as a whole, that is if you are relationship minded, and not just sex. Yes, it does take emotional as well as a physical attraction for it to start, and keeping that balance, on both sides as a unit, is not easy. Why is 26 ok, but not 25, same as 59 is ok? So what happens when he turns 60? Is that relationship automatically over? I’ve been in one relationship with “male” (I wouldn’t call him a man)that was a few years younger, it ended not because he was younger, he stalked me, age had nothing to do with it. There seems to be too much superficial emphasis, on transient statistics, instead of the partner, and who they are as a person (well as sex and money), probably why most relationships, regardless of sexuality and gender fail. Someone has to be older, and obviously younger, it would be more difficult, if not impossible to find someone the exact same age, and still be compatible. I’ve met men of 21, that had far more maturity,intelligence and experience,than “grown men” of 60.

    Start exploring the Diversity of the Rainbow in all it’s varying shades, or stop hiding behind it.
    NorthSideOtter

  • Many are insecure about their age. You we have that insidious belief in the community that once you’re past the age of 25, you’re practically over the hill. That riduculous concepted was probably created by a vain bastard in his thirties. I digress. Some older guys claim to lack the patience or get-up-and-go to keep up with a younger man as he discovers his adult self while many others find insecurity in growing older. Everything on your once glorious body begins to change. Gravity is a bitch, expansion is inevitable, your balls drop, and your pubes turn grey. Dying them would be stupid. The root of the insecurity is vanity wars. How can a knight in deteriorating armor compete with a twentysometing year old’s body? He often overlooks why the thought is even relevant and neglects to consider that his love interest might be just as human as he is.

    Anyone who minimizes you as a reason they can’t love you for who you are is someone who has yet to love himself unconditionally. Find someone with a balance of narcissism and humility who will love you as is. That’s a guy woryh evolving with.

  • I tend to play with guys close to my age, but I’am not closed minded, that I would turn away a younger guy turned on by me. If his intentions are good, then we can do some serious fucking. Isn’t that what we all want?

  • This is the first time I’ve ever posted and the reason I have is reading the post “creepy”. First of all that is a disgusting opinion. Secondly people of age should not matter as long as both are of age and are happily involved. Judgment is not ours to put upon others regardless of age (again adult) or race or sexual position. Don’t we already have enough issues with society without tearing apart one another. Best wishes guys. I’m single and alone. Just want a good guy to love that would love me too.

  • My bf is 16 yrs older than I am..he’s 53… we’ve lived and been together for over 13 years now..I honestly don’t know what I would do without him…I think it all depends on the circumstances and the guys involved in whether or not they seek the same needs..oh and btw I only have one ex..I was 23, he was 38.. only 2yrs a relationship..we were just too different..but he’s still a great guy…

  • I am close to 40 and I fall in the middle. I have had sex with age 18 up to 75 and I like it all sex wise. Older guys are not always looking for me even through I look young. The youger guys in their 20′s want to learn and please. I am not usually looking for a youger guy but they seem to hit me up and want to play more than the older men. Some of my best sex encounters have been with guys 35 up to 50. I have just stopped looking at the age and more the guy and seeing if I want to spend time with him outside the sex.

  • I am an older man and have spent a lot of time with younger guys. I have a concern about younger guys, related to their willingness to stick around as I age further. I have had a number of guys play me, big time. They want an older guy and love my looks, mind and security. In each case they wanted to use me until they got their fill of dick, then walked out the door. This behavior has made me suspicious;I have no illusions that it is a behavior exclusive to men younger than me. Because of their inability to stick with the plan of dating and exploring each other I have little interest in younger guys as a serious pursuit. I prefer men my age most of whom have worked out the need to wander. No all men fit into any one category, but what I wrote here has been my experience.

  • Ok so Im 53,I have a few friends that are younger then me. I find that here in Florida,men do not totally trust younger guys, reason is that most older guys think a younger guy is just in it for the short term. The older friends that I do have, that have younger partners are usually footing the bill, in one way or another..$$$ I find that most older guys want younger guys, but then face that fear factor. It would be nice to see older guys looking for some one closer to there own age, for the long term.Younger and older can work too. But that takes a very special kind of love.

  • I kind of have to agree with Mike. Call me bitter and jaded, but most gay relationships I see appear just to be based on compatible fetishes.

  • What I don’t understand is older guys hitting on younger guys. How did they feel when they were in their 20-s amd a guy in their 50-s was hitting on them am sure they thought it was gross. But once they hit their 50-s it seems to be ok to hit on younger. I am in my 40-s amd I don’t like someone younger hitting on me and calling me Daddy. I find it offensive. I don;t need to be someone’s Daddy or Sygar Daddy

  • I’ve dated a couple men, the most recent was a longer relationship and he was 8 years older. I thought the age would make him more mature and stable, but it didn’t turn out that way. Either way, it’s all about the connection and chemistry. You either have it or you don’t. Guys my age (24) are interested in the wrong things (looks, dick, ass, etc…). I was raised to respect myself, others (men and women) both personally and sexually. I consider sex something more, which the younger gay community does not seem to grasp. I’m not into drugs of any kind, hard partying… You get the picture. Older men tend to not be phased by such and care about WHO you are on the inside. Chemistry is everything. Peace and love.

  • Isnt it obvious? Older men like younger men because of our looks plain and simple. Thats why they dont take the time of day to take us seriously. They’re good bullshiters and promise you the world so dont believe them and watch out. Were just a quick good Fuck to them. Sad but true. Just like any gay guy, at any age. What sux is when I am in a position to help someone out, weather it be money or listening to them about there day I usually try to help out and give what I can. Were all in this anti-homo world together, we should have each others backs more often and not just to cum on. Specially if you plan on having sex with one of us. Dont be dirty creepy old perves.

  • Eww older guys are suck perverts and have no respect. Fuck Fuck Fuck me! Thats all they know. They’re sick perverted pigs that are horrible to look at. You should thand God if any one wasnt to sleep with you. And can I just say that there is something seriously wrong with a matured man in his 40′s, 50′s and so on if he wants to Fuck or get fucked by some BOY in his teens 20′s or even 30′s. You’re sick old men and you’re taking advantage of little kids. You should be locked up. At least be happy to be Generous with us. I’m 28 btw. Have a good day.

  • Kudos to Love102 for bring up this topic.

    I’m a 21 year old college student with a part time that pays entry level salary. I typically try to flirt with older men because I’m truly interested in a lasting relationship. To define the term older; my age line usually starts at 28-34 and I want to emphasize maturity, chemistry and consistency. Unlike a majority of my age group, I know what I want out of life. Most people at this age are just realizing who they are and are still trying to figure out what they want to do therefore there mindset hasn’t arrived to the point of finalizing what and whom they truly want. I’m pass the blue-print stage; its more a development stage.

    I’d also believe the idea of gold-digging is very amusing because most of my friends are intelligent enough to court aspiring individuals and not the lows of low… It’s not my intention to condescend but some of these people need to get a reality check because they are only in their prime for so long… Being drug addicts or Dancers or simply enjoying life day by day rather than building the foundation for their future will come back and haunt them.

    We might meet someone we really like but I do believe we will instantly know when we meet the one we will truly love.

    But love isn’t forever; cherish it while it last… Some people stay together for a lifetime; others get a couple of hours but a lifetime worth of memories.

  • I am 61.
    my guy is 28.
    he approached me on-line and we met.
    It has been a whirlwind year, full of fun & chaos.
    We are very different but respect each other.
    I love him like I have never loved anyone,
    and am happy beyond reason.

  • I am 51 and really enjoy looking at the younger guys, however, I do not get along with young GAY men. Young STRAIGHT men are much nicer to me. I would never date a young (18-39) man at all. Will just keep hoping someone closer to my age is out there for me. Not looking to adopt a child.

  • I’m 21, and there’s no way that I’ll date someone older. 30 is probably the highest I’ll go, and I still feel as if that’s pushing it. I just don’t believe in dating or being sexual with someone around 10+ years my senior. It creeps me out just thinking about it. I don’t mean to sound rude, it’s just my preference. I’ve met older guys who are extremely mature, well educated, and are where they want to be in life, however, I’m attracted to guys my age due to a physical attraction. Don’t get me wrong. There are some older men who are very attractive, but for some reason, I can’t get over being so shallow. Hopefully I’ll eventually get out of my shallow ways. It’s probably the main reason I’m single to this date.

  • Well I’m one of the younger guys. I like older men a lot. Still I’m in a relationship with a guy my own age. So i guess weird stuff happens. Older men just don’t seem to like me unfortunately

  • I think its cool! Age really is just a number, if u have some things in common it does help!

    I once dated a younger guy in his 20′s and I was in my early 40′s, but had to end it because I didn’t like him going thru my private stuff! It lasted 2 weeks/

    Now if I found another younger guy, black hopefully , I’d love to try

  • I too love older men. My very very very awesome,kind, mold-breaking boyfriend/ domestic partner is the very first man I ever loved with all forms of honesty- intimacy beyond what the movies pretend to portray. Twice my age. By far, our issue has always been the reality of dealing day to day with intergenerational interpretations and the inherent patience that is needed, in massive amounts. every 5 years- our community makes disproportionately larger bounds in social progress- we all make a choice to keep up or cut out. often than not, I’m turning over his disbelief in how I can “get where he is coming from”….. I do. Because I can talk unbiased– admitting my faults– I can speak to him on a level that exemplifies our discovered, shared values. Compromise may be what can be so hard, but patience breaks down every relationship.

  • my first REAL partner, i met when i was 23, and he was 43. I had to make it happen, even though he was aware and subtly pushing it. we were together for 10 years. he made great money, but i supported our very good lifestyle in NYC. in the end he did things to me that involved police more than once, and when i left, i got screwed big time! took some time off. new partner after moving to arizona, my same age. together 20 years. 10 great years- full open relationship, which worked well in the 80′s.first 10 yrs, good and bad, mostly REALLY good ,but should have bailed second 10. we were VERY successful and owned our business, homes, everything together. he was a control freak( i had control of what i wanted- just did not know i controlled wrong things!!!) he met a younger hustler, as it turned out, on his FIRST night hustling men!! over the next ten years, my partner went thru everything we had, including our retirement accounts,lost our homes , got so into heavy drugs, i was afraid to sleep in our ,back then, million dollar home, because i was not sure i would wake up the next morning! got out, met my present husband, 13 yrs my younger. been together 17 years now . best relationship EVER! it takes work, but not hard work. think we will live the rest of our lives together. my life point is, age is bull, honesty, commitment, WANTING to be together, and doing WHATEVER it takes, IT IS ALL WORTH IT!!!! it takes being a grown up, which has nothing to do with age!!!!

  • I believe a successful gay relationship for me will happen if the age difference is about 10 years. I seem to get along well with guys that are older than me, 40ish now, but lately younger guys have checked me out more than usual. Sexually guys over 50 rarely match my libido but I just like the old fashion style of dating and respecting each other even in the way gentlemen talk and do things. Younger guys under 30 sometimes don’t know what they want out of a relationship or often flaky about the love concept. Although i have petpeeve about cell phone etiquette at the same time I can still keep up with all the new technology and especially the sexual variety a young gay man can offer. Who doesn’t like to be pampered but asking for money is tacky. Even me at this age would love to be treated at a nice dinner sometimes and I have no problem to return the favor. I’d rather pay for fun activities and good food if we guys both enjoy together instead of giving a guy money just for sex or whatever they call nowadays as codependent relationship. howardangel

  • I’ve always been attracted to older men. I guess it’s their maturity, self confidence and experience. I’m 20 and my bf is 40, we met when I was 17, became good friends and eventually lovers. We have excellent chemistry, have a lot of similar interest and hobbies and are best friends. My bf respects me and we have a good balance within our relationship. I moved in with him when I turned 18 and commute to college to finish my degree, were planning on getting married within the next year.

  • I was 19. He was 49. At that time, he had been in an open relationship for 18 years. He was interested in me because I had my shit together, I was honest, trustworthy and wasn’t a gold digger. 32 years later, we remain friends; I did not drift away. He and his partner celebrated their 50th anniversary this year. Old – young FWBs work too! LOL

  • I have a golden rule, and perhaps as a father myself, I refuse to become intimate with someone who I could have fathered. Actually, I think the older guy should feel shame of themselves. There is no such thing in my opinion that this type of couple is a match, it called security in most cases, and on the other hand, a mental health issue is present. We sometimes go through a mid life crisis and we want someone to mirror who we use to be and it becomes a mental reward to validate ourselves by capturing a younger partner. It is like look what I am capable of capturing at my age, I still have or got it. While, in some cases, guys are looking for a father figure that they never had and they obtain their father figure. Like I just said, it a mental health issue. It reminds me of the guys on line who wants everything in his ad, like muscles, a specific built, good looks, and so on, then when you see him, he does not warrant all those demands. Sometimes, I have to laugh when that occurs, because here you want everything you not.

    I am a firm believer that relationship like this are challenged, why, because as we age, we develop differently, the things that a younger partner is going to want to do, we have done already, and in most cases sexually, he is going to explore elsewhere, he younger and more vibrant, age brings on less energy and less function ability and the loss of ones appearance and looks. It brings on age and pain, and some cases sickness. Basically, you are world apart.

    Examples of Mid life
    One of the main characteristics of a midlife crisis perspective is one assumes that their midlife is about to be eventful, usually in a negative way, and potentially stressful. Additionally, they often see their life coming to a drastic decline.

    Individuals experiencing a midlife crisis have some of these feelings:
    search of an undefined dream or goal
    a deep sense of remorse for goals not accomplished
    a fear of humiliation among more successful colleagues
    desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness
    need to spend more time alone or with certain peers

    They exhibit some of these behaviors:
    abuse of alcohol
    acquisition of unusual or expensive items such as motorbikes, boats, clothing, sports cars, jewelry, gadgets, tattoos, piercings, etc.
    depression
    having remorse for one’s wrongs.
    paying special attention to physical appearance such as covering baldness, wearing youthful designer clothes, etc.
    entering relationships with younger people (whether sexual, professional, parental, etc.)
    placing over importance (and possibly a psychologically damaging amount) on their children to excel in areas such as sports, arts, or academics

  • I have a golden rule, and perhaps as a father myself, I refuse to become intimate with someone who I could have fathered. Actually, I think the older guy should feel shame of themselves. There is no such thing in my opinion that this type of couple is a match, it called security in most cases, and on the other hand, a mental health issue is present. We sometimes go through a mid life crisis and we want someone to mirror who we use to be and it becomes a mental reward to validate ourselves by capturing a younger partner. It is like look what I am capable of capturing at my age, I still have or got it. While, in some cases, guys are looking for a father figure that they never had and they obtain their father figure. Like I just said, it a mental health issue. It reminds me of the guys on line who wants everything in his ad, like muscles, a specific built, good looks, and so on, then when you see him, he does not warrant all those demands. Sometimes, I have to laugh when that occurs, because here you want everything you not.

    I am a firm believer that relationship like this are challenged, why, because as we age, we develop differently, the things that a younger partner is going to want to do, we have done already, and in most cases sexually, he is going to explore elsewhere, he younger and more vibrant, age brings on less energy and less function ability and the loss of ones appearance and looks. It brings on age and pain, and some cases sickness. Basically, you are world apart.

    Examples of Mid life
    One of the main characteristics of a midlife crisis perspective is one assumes that their midlife is about to be eventful, usually in a negative way, and potentially stressful. Additionally, they often see their life coming to a drastic decline.

    Individuals experiencing a midlife crisis have some of these feelings:
    search of an undefined dream or goal
    a deep sense of remorse for goals not accomplished
    a fear of humiliation among more successful colleagues
    desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness
    need to spend more time alone or with certain peers

    They exhibit some of these behaviors:
    abuse of alcohol
    acquisition of unusual or expensive items such as motorbikes, boats, clothing, sports cars, jewelry, gadgets, tattoos, piercings, etc.
    depression
    having remorse for one’s wrongs.
    paying special attention to physical appearance such as covering baldness, wearing youthful designer clothes, etc.
    entering relationships with younger people (whether sexual, professional, parental, etc.)
    placing over importance (and possibly a psychologically damaging amount) on their children to excel in areas such as sports, arts, or academics

  • LOL, people on this blog talking about being old at 50. What a hoot! Try being 70 and still interested in sex. It becomes difficult to find sex partners. All those young guys out there forget they will be “older” in not too many years.

  • LOL, people on this blog talking about being old at 50. What a hoot! Try being 70 and still interested in sex. It becomes difficult to find sex partners. All those young guys out there forget they will be “older” in not too many years.

  • I’m 36 and I prefer younger guys 18-40. Younger guys seem to be more up beat and always looking to try new things. But in my state it’s hard to find a young guy who likes me for me. They rather beat around the bush or ignore you. I have not once found a gay guy who will take the time and see me or just talk to me.

  • Im 22yo and ive always prefered older men but never actually dated one. One concern ive always is how do u connect emotionally with one who is older considering we are in different stages of our lives….your most likely gainfully employed and established while im still in school trying to get my start?

  • I’m 61, gay & black. I missed out on a lot of life as a healthy gay black man because of family, religion, and a society that saw me as less than human. After the AIDS Death debacle it has been hard to adjust to this new found acceptance. Younger guys tend not to want to be pigeon holed into a category; I liike that, human experience is a continuum, and we are physical/sexual beings. That is exactly what I need at this point in my life.

  • Here’s the deal on this…I’m 53 , look younger somewhat, and wind up getting hit by 20-somethings, and invariably they’re looking for T, weed, both, or money. Block…next! I have had “May/October” relationships that went OK, but, if you want to have someone who probably shares your values, you need to stick with your own generation. Negatives about 20-somethings these days? “Oh, HIV’s no big deal anymore!” (REALLY? Gimme a break…), “What’s HCV?”, “Got any T?”, “Can I borrow your truck (since I blew mine up not checking the oil), “Oh, no I haven’t had anal in over a year! (with J-Lube dripping outta their hole…well, that’s ALL guys, really), and a constant self-absorbed attitude that makes them undesirable and annoying to have around. “Oh, look, I just got new tats with that money you gave me to pay my insurance!” DERRRRRRP…out ya go, twinkette!

  • I’m a hung 52yo guy in great shape.

    I date guys around my age

    But… Online I get an incredible amount of attention from young guys. Way more than you’d think. If I’m horny and were a match, I’ll fuck them. Some have become fuck buds, some fwbs… Some one time hook ups.

    But I don’t date them

  • Any two people can get along and or fall in love regardless of age. A certain level of maturity needs to exist for a relationship to happen regardless if age. What I would worry about as an older man, taking Care of my loved one in perpetuity. As the laws change that will become easier but an older man runs te risk of during long before the younger partner and it would be a worry of mine that my younger partner would be alone and lonely late in life. I know it’s a silly thing to think about knowing that to love and lost is better than to never love at all…

  • I am 51 my partner of over 7 years is 37. I have always been attracted to guys my age or younger as I feel somewhat uncomfortable about the feeling of being with someone older. It is not so much about the physical attraction as it is a mental one. Hard to explain as it is complex. Anyhow, the downside of begin with someone younger a fear that as I age they will look for someone else though that has not been the case with me currently. The challenges I face are my partner believes my friends are all “old” and I am now contact to relax at home without drinking. I never thought I would be typing such thoughts when I was in my 20′s or 30′s time seems to have slipped by too quickly to adjust. I think men my age can understand that last statement.

  • @ MistrFistr, I agree.

  • @ Easy68, you have a good point – I have to laugh when someone approaching 30 or 40 thinks they are old. I call a lll of this karma as I am now the type of man I most likely would have ignored when I was younger.

  • @ Arealbro, Thank you for insightful comments which are so true, at least for me who when approaching 40 asked my older friends “How will I know when I am having a mid-life crises?” There answer was “You will know”. and “It is better to be in your 50′s than in your 40′s as you eventually learn to accept yourself. But for some, like myself, I find myself in a relationship with the younger guy albeit 14 years my junior. So, yes, your comments were spot on.

  • So here’s my view:

    I’ve had younger guys take an interest … in my money. But realistically, that’s about it. I just can’t imagine myself in a *relationship* with anyone more than 10 or so my junior; after “So how are your classes going,” what do we talk about? And that’s provided they’re even capable of the art of conversation: I don’t live for my smart phone or video games or whatever the way everybody (and that includes some close to my age) else seems to. Does anyone actually speak anymore or do they only text? And does anyone do anything with their hands other than press buttons on a device of one sort or another? When was the last time anyone made something tangible, something that you could sit back at the end of the day and admire for your own creativity and handiwork?

    Ideally I’d like to meet someone my own age … except that they’re all off trying to meet the above. Oh, sure they state wanting to meet ages “25-50″ but when you really try to pin them down, they confess they would’ve posted “under 21 only” but they knew they’d get sh*t for it. (As a test, I have two IDENTICAL profiles save in one I’m 54 and in the other I’m 22 … guess which guys will offer $$$$ to meet while totally ignoring the other?) I need someone in my own income bracket, someone with vacation time, ready to travel (and not expect me to pay for it … plus drop them off wherever and then meet later so they can shop or club-hop while I actually visit historic sites and so on), someone passionate about something other than their hair.

  • I want to say who cares. I do also want to say there is something wrong with people that ONLY be with someone younger, almost like you can brag to your friends you are banging someone half your age

  • I just want a guy around my age. Not old enough to be my dad but not young enough to be my kid.

  • I just turned 50 and prefer the company of younger guys. There is something about their carefree disposition and vitality, not to mention their perfect tight skin, full head of hair and lack of wrinkles…yes, I base most of my attraction to younger guys on their physical appearance. I am not concerned with their lack of experience or knowledge…they have their whole life ahead of them to learn. If asked, I am willing to share my experiences in an effort to give them options on how to handle situations, otherwise, I say nothing. When I was in my twenties and thirties, the last thing I needed was someone telling me what, when, where or how to do something…lol. Thinking back to my younger days, I remember thinking it was really gross when an older guy would hit on me. I also remember them saying I would be old some day. They were right…difference is, I don’t hit on younger guys…I put myself out there…if they like what they see and the feeling is mutual…then so be it. As for financial stability…I know guys who are in their thirties and up who still live pay to pay, or co-habitate with family, friends or exes (what’s up with living with an ex?). I have always had a good head on my shoulders, coupled with a good work ethic and dedication to making my life the best it could be. I have succeeded and hope to someday find my soulmate. So if there are any younger guys in the cleveland area thinking they might be interested in meeting, let me know. If not…best of luck to you all :)

  • Been with my guy for four years. I have to admit that part of what attracted me to him was he had his shit together. Im 26 hes 52. I work, have my own place, content with life and when im with him, everything just gets better. Hes kind and caring, smart, funny, handsome, has a big penis and i love him. Downside: he works too much and it pisses me off sometimes. But i guess theres no such thing as a perfect relationship…

  • I’m 23 years old. I’m not one of these twinky boys. I’m a 6 foot tall bear with a hairy and stocky body, so nobody really wants me unless they think I’m a top. BUT, I’m not. You can check it out on my profile: gaianphoenix

    Aside from that, I’m only attracted to older men, specifically taller men with beards and hairy bodies. And I actually have MOST of the qualities that would make them happy. I don’t even have many friends my own age. Most of my friends have been in their late 20′s to early 30′s.

    I’ll break it down really short and sweet and elaborate later. I’ve been through hell. I’ve spent my entire life living the worst nightmares anyone could ever conceive. I’m tired as shit. I definitely have an exuberance for life, but I don’t want to waste any of my time and energy on anything superficial or shallow. And I definitely don’t want to date someone my age who will absolutely trigger my maternal instincts. I don’t want to take care of my boyfriend. I’ve been taking care of people my whole life and no one has taken care of me. I feel like I’ve been holding the reins to wild horses since I was a toddler and I just want someone to hold me, grab the reins, and whisper in my ear that I can let go.

    And I’m never going to feel that strength from someone in their 20s. It just isn’t going to happen. The ones I’ve met just aren’t like me. And then there’s the intelligence. I’m such an overly complex person that people don’t even understand me. I only feel vulnerable and naked around extremely intelligent men who can actually comprehend who I am as a person. I LOVE that feeling but I’ve only felt it once in my life. And he doesn’t love me. So that’s that.

    As far as financial things go, yeah I’m broke as hell right now. I even smoke pot. I often seem like a loser, but I am DEFINITELY not looking for a sugar daddy. Intimacy and romance turn me on. I hate hooking up. And I don’t want to be in a loveless sexual arrangement with a wealthy man. It would break my heart. again. And I really can’t take that right now. But I don’t even need that. I’m fully capable of finding work and supporting myself. I’m even about to get my finances in order and become independent. Besides all that, I’ve got a BRILLIANT career ahead of me. I exude talent. I’m not going to have a problem making money in the future. I wish someone could see that.

    I feel like no one sees me even though I have everything they want.

    Then you guys all bitch and complain about the twinky boys who used you for money, and the BS relationships that didn’t work out. Did you ever ask yourself if maybe you were being unrealistic and expecting what is essentially a child to SUDDENLY grow up 30 years and meet all your needs? The whole lot of you are being totally ridiculous about this. You deserve what you get when you pick the prettiest and shiniest tweaker for brief sex instead of finding something with potential and working out the kinks to make it fit.

    All you older men are just as guilty of looking for instant gratification and using people as the younger ones are. The difference is that you should all know better, whereas the rest of my peers are idiots who get a free pass due to natural naiveté.

  • At this point, all I really ask for is a grown man to go jogging/hiking or work out with me, and maybe be my friend. Ideally my best friend.

  • when I was younger (in my 20s) I had a regular bud , 30 yrs older than myself and it lasted for almost 30 yrs now I am in my 50s and still prefer older men ( my age now ) lol
    but I don’t see anything wrong with age difference for others as far as myself I don’t think I could with someone younger only because I would feel like I was having sex with my son or grandson

  • I think it’s fear. I always had a thing for younger guys. Their smooth skin, their tight bodies, their smell, taste, and especially their youthful exuberance. I had many flings over the years but always let it die (if it actually went beyond a date or two) and as I aged, my trysts became less frequent. Even though I took care of myself, I feared the rejection of even approaching. And then the most amazing thing happened. I had started seeing escorts. It was just easier and hell, I could afford it. Five years ago, I met a young Latino guy and we clicked. Somewhere along the way I stopped being a client and we became a couple. Some would say I’m nothing but a sugar daddy but I disagree. He has a job and contributes. No, we not on the same level financial all but we’re not physically either where he has the gifts. I worry that some day he will look elsewhere but wouldn’t give up the joy I’m experiencing for anything. I’m 53 and not in the greatest shape. He’s 27 with the body of a god. So it’s a symbiotic relationship but we truly do love each other. It shows in the little things We’re total opposites in so many ways but very happy together for the moment and I’ll take that.

  • I am 58 and have not been in such a conundrum so I really can’t say.

  • Love is complicated and yes some young like older men. However I find that many older men are just idol worshippers and could care less…. so who is wrong here. If two people really love one another…then age is nothing !

  • I love older men, thats all i ever date. I like older, haiy, tall, masculine top men as i am just the opposite

  • I was in a ltr…14 yrs….until 10 yrs. ago when my partner, who was the love of my life and was 10 yrs younger then I am…died….very suddenly and unexpectedly.
    What to do. I mourned for 9 yrs. Now, the mourning is over….I find that I’m attracted to younger guys….why?…because they have exciting thoughts, hi levels of energy, most have positive attitudes, a thirst for knowledge, are creative…etc. I find that many guys my age..in their 60′s go to bed early, have lost their drive, have low energy..I can go on and on…so, that’s why I find younger guys exciting…unfortunately, I’ve been successful and seem to attract the “wrong” kind of guys…I’ll continue to look, won’t give up…at my age, personality seems to be the most important attribute a guy can have, along with a positive attitude.

  • As an older guy, I like younger men for a specific, and short-term reason: I like playing “Dad” for an evening or an weekend – out to dinner to sample a variety of foods (not the Cheesecake Factory – belch!), movies (not blockbusters), hiking, museums, etc. I lean toward the college boys or boys who have a plan about getting to their next level (whatever it is for them). Those air-heads who inhibit the local bar/club 3 or 4 nights a week or who strive for that gym-bod 5-6 days a week are not on my radar screen. Ditto for those who work hard to look/sound like any other Castro/Chelsea clone. That said, it’s never a long-term relationship with a boy. Short-lived because I’m not interested in having a long-term relationship with someone 20-30 years my junior. Young men need to find those types of bonds with guys their own age. My ego (and this is about me :-) is playing dad to give the boy some guidance. I like young men, but you don’t date them.

    I tried dating men my age, but good grief! Many are so miserable or want to talk about how much their spending to remodel/update their primary or vacation home. Not interested. Or, they’re miserable about their job/family, etc. It’s draining and a downer. If you hate your job, find something else to do, but stop whining about it! My other pet-peeve with older guys is that they want to stay on the couch and cuddle. Not going to happen! Let’s get out and do something; anything! I can do the cuddle thing (barely) ever now and then, but 3 or 4 nights a week? No. Now, at the age of 55 I have no burning desire to have a long-term relationship. It’s so far down on the list of things I want to do that it’s, really, insignificant. At this point, I’m fine being single.

  • Hey guys, as one of the few younger guys to comment on this and after reading all the comments I have this to say.

    It seems like many of the older men, 50+ are projecting their lust for youth and that’s all. Half of the comments talk about how a 50 year old wants to have a partner that’s in their teens? or twenties? This is just a bunch of crud! You are in a TOTALLY different place in your life than they are, they are only beginning to find themselves and get established. Hence, why a bunch of you are “afraid” that the younger guy is using you for cash. They probably are using you but not for cash. Most younger guys with a fetish for older men have self-esteem issues!! I know about this, several of my friends date older because they have problems that developed when they were younger, daddy issues anyone? They have sex with older men to make up for a lack of fatherly approval, same as girls do.
    And, the older guys who want younger men cannot accept their age and act like it doesn’t matter, they had the chance to be young and have a fun sex life, a lot of them miss out and try to get that feeling back in middle age. Mid-life crisis much? Want to play Daddy? Come on, what are people supposed to think when you tell your friends and family that your dating a guy 20 years your junior? And, expecting to be some teacher? Seriously leave the education for teachers, older dudes that are banging you are not trying to give a world class education! In fact any older guy who wants to date a younger man should ask themselves, will I know their cultural references due to generational differences? Will they be relatable when it comes to music, TV, movies and social media? The answer is doubtful at best. The younger guy will have a whole host of different likes and perspectives than the older man, who grew up with totally different cultural influences. A fact that seemed vastly ignored in the comments, it sounds like the older men expect the younger men to adopt their values and culture. Hence usage of the word teacher, like the younger guy is somehow ignorant.
    A lot of the physical attraction is based on the fact that older guys tend to get tired of dating their fat, ugly and boring same-aged counterparts. That I can understand, I don’t find them hot either! Try to keep in shape as you age! The saddest part is that the older men think that naysayers are full of it, but themselves don’t see how pathetic it is to not accept that they grew up and picking up a younger guy will never fix that.

  • I have always been attracted to older men. The experience, “seasoning”, wisdom that they bring to everything is hard to describe. I love talking to them, hanging out with them, learning from and loving them. They have been my best lovers to date. When an older man is well dressed and has grey/silver hair it makes me weak. I am a top and I love submissive, hairy older bottoms. I will make love to them all night if they let me! The way an older man kisses me, holds me and make me feel like I am his is wonderful! Yummy!

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