Most of the time my brain is working on overdrive. I’m currently in school working on my second degree. My first degree was Music Performance, focusing on piano and flute (all jokes are welcome) and composition. As it turns out, if you want to play in a symphony all you have to do is audition and if you want to be a super star or the next Beyonce…it’s a lot more about who you know in the industry and having enough money to hire an agent. So now I’m going to school for languages, French and Mandarin Chinese specifically, in order to work in an Embassy, military contracting or business translations. I speak four languages at the moment and spend my free time writing music and making CDs (mostly as a hobby and when I’m too cheap to buy actual gifts) so my brain is always working.
On occasion I focus my mental prowess into a deeply insightful, poignant and altogether important question: If I woke up tomorrow and had suddenly acquired a super power, which one would it be!!?!?
For gay people, the subject of faith can cause an uproar of emotions. A lot of us laugh at the Christians with the picket signs at the Pride Parades, or just shake our heads at any gathering of the Westboro Baptist Church. The idea of religion (whether Christian or other) can be a point of contention with many gay people who have been bullied, attacked or had relationships suffer because of religious people. As I said to God once a long time ago, “It’s not you I have a problem with, really…it’s your people!”
The problem a lot of gay people have is that we do find ourselves, generally, searching for what lies beyond this physical world that we live in, but also find ourselves cast away from those who might give us answers. The idea of a loving God isn’t absurd, it’s just the expression of that God by His people that seems to mess up the message. In order to just get to “God loves me” we have to go through a spiritual Tough Mudder course of bigotry, hypocrisy, anger and holy curses just to get to the misinterpretation of scripture, then the misapplication of the misinterpretation…and by the time we get the end it’s almost like “THIS is religion!? You can keep it!”
(This question has been sent to my mailbox from a member. I am not a specialist, but I’m sure we have health specialist or power bottoms that will know the answer to this. See below.)
I don’t know when we started saying this…or writing it, really since it appeared on profiles all over the apps and internet websites that we use for “dating”. It must have originated somewhere, and like all things PC it seemed a way to make something a little uncomfortable feel a little more easy to stomach.
“If you are fat, ugly, Asian or black don’t message me. Sorry, just my preference”.
Statements like these confuse me. How could someone NOT get angry over a statement like that? It’s like me showing up to a family dinner at your house and saying, “I’m not sure I want to eat this because your fat, ugly mother cooked it. Hey, don’t get mad it’s just my preference”. The statement itself is not some magical band-aid that suddenly makes everything better. The words are hateful and cruel. Hateful and cruel things are specifically geared to hurt people and cause damage.
Your average gay person might know the name “Stonewall” but they have no idea where to find it in history or where to find it in real life. The New York City based bar was the catalyst for what we recognize as the beginning of the Gay Civil Rights Movement, a “movement” that has spanned nearly 50 years. With so many states in America changing their positions on gay marriage and other important issues, one has to wonder what we will do once we “have it”; that is…what do gay people do once the fight is over?
Our mental state is often a source of amusement and horror to me. The way that gay men treat one another can be kind, compassionate and benevolent but more often than not we do things in hopes of getting something in return and therefore even our kindness can easily turn to vicious, combative behaviour. I understand; the worlds we live in have not always been kind to us and the gays we’ve associated ourselves with have not always been loyal friends. It seems to me that the more gay people I meet the more I wonder, “who raised these people? What happened to basic manners of society?” I wonder that our own coined terms don’t match our behaviours. I’ve met some very rude, crass, self-serving men who insist that they are “classy”. I wonder where our mentors are. I wonder where the older men who have walked down this road and paved the way for us are.