Your average gay person might know the name “Stonewall” but they have no idea where to find it in history or where to find it in real life. The New York City based bar was the catalyst for what we recognize as the beginning of the Gay Civil Rights Movement, a “movement” that has spanned nearly 50 years. With so many states in America changing their positions on gay marriage and other important issues, one has to wonder what we will do once we “have it”; that is…what do gay people do once the fight is over?
Our mental state is often a source of amusement and horror to me. The way that gay men treat one another can be kind, compassionate and benevolent but more often than not we do things in hopes of getting something in return and therefore even our kindness can easily turn to vicious, combative behaviour. I understand; the worlds we live in have not always been kind to us and the gays we’ve associated ourselves with have not always been loyal friends. It seems to me that the more gay people I meet the more I wonder, “who raised these people? What happened to basic manners of society?” I wonder that our own coined terms don’t match our behaviours. I’ve met some very rude, crass, self-serving men who insist that they are “classy”. I wonder where our mentors are. I wonder where the older men who have walked down this road and paved the way for us are.
I’m very curious how others feel about this topic. I live in a college town, but we are not a “major” city. It’s not uncommon to chat someone up at a brew house and find that there are several personal connections to others in the community.
While I am not “out,” I have shared my personal preferences with several friends, and feel fine with their consideration of my privacy. However, when looking for a bit of fun – on A4A, I become very concerned about hosting a stranger in my home.
Years ago, in the care-free college days, I had a hookup come over while my roommates were gone for the weekend. What I expected was a casual romp of one-time fun, but the guy continued emailing. I kept up the conversation, telling him it was a one-time thing, but he would not take no for an answer. He showed up unannounced at my apartment a couple times, and the ultimate straw was him coming to my work (tracked me down online – scary). I threatened him with police action, and he finally got the message.
Hey guys, hope you all had great weekend! Today I’d like to talk about a delicate subject: Cross dressing.
Cross dressing refers to the act of wearing clothing and other accoutrements commonly associated with the opposite sex. The term “cross-dressing” denotes an action or a behavior without attributing or implying any specific causes for that behavior. Some people automatically connect cross-dressing behavior to transgender identity or “Human sexuality” , “Sexual fetishism”, “Homosexuality” behavior, but the term itself does not imply any motives. Some straight men cross dress sometimes, so it is not necessarily related to the gay world.
(This post was submitted by one of our member, if you would like to submit a text, want to have opinions of other gay men or just want to share a sex story, feel free to send it to email@example.com with your username)
I live in the Tampa Bay area (West-Central Florida, USA, for the International, or geographically clueless among you): an area of about 4 million residents. I’ve lived here all my life, and seen good times and bad — both generally, and in the “gay subculture”. I very much enjoy the fact that my city has been open and accepting of LBGT for well over a decade, and now hosts the largest Gay Pride celebrations in the SE USA!
Lately, I’ve been getting “hits” on my A4A profile from self-labeled “bisexual” dudes – usually young (all under 25, some under 20) – and the gist of their message is “Do you want to suck my cock? I don’t want to even touch you, I just want someone to suck my cock. Interested?” What prompted this blog entry for discussion is that I recently received THREE such messages in a single day! (It actually prompted me to check my profile to see if I had inadvertently suggested I would be open to this!)
Personal ads have been around since the dawn of the newspaper. From GWM in lonelyhearts print to Craigslist and every dating site imaginable, the personal ad has been through a great evolution. But have we reached such a point that it’s stopped being a personal ad? Has an advertisement for you become a list of demands?
The keywords in there should be, “About yourself”, but today, as the times have changed and a generation of entitlement has set in, we’ve strayed into making it about what we’re searching for, not why they should pick us.
The whole point of advertising is to sell a product. If Mad Men has taught us anything, it’s that style and sexy can be made to fit ANYTHING. With the right use of words, photographs and statistics, it’s all about branding and showmanship. But the root of it all is self confidence and self worth.