28 Jul 2015

Speak Out : Plural Marriages?

Catégorie: Speak Out



(This post was written by a member of A4A, if you wish to write an article, please submit to blog at adam4adam dot com)

Since the recent Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage, the conservative religious crowd is now beginning to suggest that it is only a matter of time until plural marriages will be the law of the land too. One religious sect practiced plural marriages in 19th century America until laws were enacted to prevent those marriages. Now there may be a resurgence and judicial review to remove the obstacles to plural marriages.

27 Jul 2015

Speak Out : Where Are You Going?

Catégorie: Speak Out


Today is a junk out day.  I guess I don’t remember when I started using language like this.  I joined a gym, I work out, I changed my diet a little bit and started getting results.  It was exciting.  At first my motivation for working out was to achieve a really hot, muscular body to gain the attention of other men with hot, muscular bodies.  This is because those same men won’t give me the time of day unless I have six pack abs or a big, worked out chest.  I thought, “I’m going to get those things and then when those guys talk to me I’m going to tell them to go spend some time playing in traffic”.  How delighted I would be to have my sweet revenge.

Of course, it didn’t really play out that way.  After I lost 50lbs and my muscles started to develop (a little, please don’t mistake me for a gym rat or some well defined athlete…yet) my motivation shifted.  I did start to gain the attention of these muscle boys as I had suspected; many of them starting up conversations with no realization that I was the same person who months earlier had tried to say hello to them only to get “I don’t talk to fatties” or “you’re not my type” and so on.  The fact that they didn’t even recognize me was infuriating.  It shouldn’t have surprised me, because we sort of accept that being shallow and vapid is part of the gay culture.  And yet, I was still filled with rage that this shallow, vapid stereotype was being directed at me.

How could they not remember me?!  I’m memorable!

8 Jul 2015

Speak Out : Non-Monogamous Relationships

Catégorie: Speak Out



YOU SAID IT: “What about non-monogamous relationships?” Since A4A is first and foremost a hookup site, the subject of monogamy is not a serious consideration for more than 59% of all members. But for those romantics who are looking for MR. RIGHT, the matter of sustaining a long-term relationship includes whether or not a playmate is satisfied sexually with a single playmate or wants variety to reign—thus an open relationship!

Let’s consider some of the variables: 1) Commitment limited to a single partner, 2) Need for intimacy and familiarity that encourage mountaintop climaxes, 3) Ability to sustain relationships without losing arousal and sexual interest, 4) Desire for playmate variety through trysts with other guys. Some monogamous guys may enjoy having the same partner each time they shoot a massive cum load while others may want the opposite.

6 Jul 2015

Speak Out : A Change In Attitude

Catégorie: Speak Out

Illustration depicting a sign with a change attitude concept.


(From Positivelite)

Life with HIV, I am learning, is a lesson in understanding the struggles that others are facing. Why? Because, I know that other people can be struggling on the inside or have issues that have no “public face.” Yes – I have HIV. But unless I’ve told you, you cannot tell by looking at me (or any HIV-positive person).

I think for a long time, people around me who don’t know about my status have sensed that something is off. Indeed, my best friend told me that one of the things she found hard is when our friends would ask her about me – not to be nosy, but out of genuine concern – and she had to cover for me, saying “oh, he’s just going through some stuff.” I feel a bit of guilt for making her do that, and it brings up the feeling of hiding that I’ve discussed before.

It became stark that I had perhaps been off for some time when I was at work yesterday. Of course, anybody is going to be a little more perky when it’s Friday, but I did something that made a co-worker laugh. When our manager overheard, she said (somewhat jokingly): “What has you in such a good mood lately?”

2 Jul 2015

Speak Out : Labeling Gays?

Catégorie: Gay Stuff : Speak Out



(Photo; Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg)

After reading that article, all I came to really realize is that I’m glad I don’t constantly read HuffPost. The fact that, that rather whiny blogger gets such coverage while others with more defined voices struggle and fight (And I don’t mean me) for hits every day is sad. To me this is a Twink crying that someone stole HIS special day. And that’s the main issue with THE WHOLE argument about this article. It’s based on a faulty foundation. The one we’re all living on, built on fear and categorization, the one that’s kinda falling apart now, from under us causing article like this to be written.

Labeling is for organizing THINGS, not people and when we label people is when we run into issues. Sexuality is such a SMALL part of who we are as people, and too many people get caught up in that. He’s upset that straight people are eating the gay cake, when the whole issue is there is just “cake” not Straight, Gay, Black, White…. Ect cake,  there’s just cake.

While YES, I do agree with people ego stroking and just doing stuff to blend in, that’s not new or news. Apathy is sweeping the nation in thick sheets like The Blob. People are just not up to caring as much as they used to. They’re not used to having to commit anything more than a couple of clicks and taps on a screen or keyboard. Organization meetings and fundraisers are dead and empty, yet their RSVP on Facebook is almost 300….. why is that? 

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