Hi guys, my name is Tom, I’m a member of A4A since 8 years.
I’ve been HIV positive since 10 years now and nobody knows around me. It is very hard for me to tell it to people, friends, family etc.
I’ve been through a depression when I learned I was poz, and had to take antidepressants. Once in a while, usually around the fall period, I ask my doctor to prescribe me the antidepressants to help me, it stabilizes everything and then after a month or two, I stop. These help a lot!
Are there any other guys here who are in the closet with their HIV status? And are there any HIV poz guys that can give me advice on how to tell my friends and family, or how to do it? it is very hard to tell it, but even harder to live with it in the silence:(
Thanks very much in advance!
What would you do if your partner or lover had to go away for a few weeks or months? What if they had to travel for work or were in the service? I ask this cause a co-worker of mine had to go to Florida for two months to train some new employees in our company and it made me think about this.
There would have to be a lot of trust in the relationship. My partner works out of town during the week locally but comes home every weekend. If he had to stay away for an extended amount of time I don’t think I could handle it. Not necessarily the trust issue, but just not him being here and of course, the lack of sex would be horrible.
Many members used to say to me : “Why are you even on here?”
I would say I’m not on A4A to hook up, I’m just here for friends. To me A4A is what you make it.
So one day I was just searching for guys in my area that would be down to kick it sometimes and I saw this guy who seemed to be looking for the same thing. I won’t lie and say it wasn’t his looks that caught my eye, because it was. He was very cute. We started talking back and forth and one day I invited him to go to Club 21 in Downtown Sacramento.
My name is Dre’ and I was diagnosed with HIV 2 days after my birthday. On July 28th 2013(the day of my birthday) I attempted suicide. I mutilated my arm, drank some alcohol and took 23 sleeping pills. I was out of my mind for hours before my cousin called 911. I was rushed to the hospital still out of it and as the nurse was setting up my IV he asked if I wanted an HIV test. I said sure. Then I thought ( Wait What!? is my gay-ness really that obvious!!!?) I know it was not the right timing to be self conscious, but I digress. I arrived at the hospital around 3 am on the 29th, he drew my blood early that morning and the doctor told my I was HIV the next morning. I was in shock for a couple of minutes. All I heard was ” You are Hiv+…” and then my mind started racing. My first thought was ” I wanted to have kids.” Prior to this whole downward spiral I had been on this destructive path since the beginning of the year. I was abused physically, emotionally, and mentally as a child by a grandparent who was an alcoholic and had PTSD. I seemed to have blocked it out of mind for many years until I became a teenager and all hell broke loose. Everyone was painting it as me just being a rebellious teenager( Granted I am a rebel without a cause) but I was crying out for help. I couldn’t articulate why I was feeling the way I did or what was really going on I just knew I felt like shit.
(This post is an opinion from a member and may not reflect Adam4Adam’s opinion. Everybody is free to choose, and we are not here to judge anyone)
Recently I received a response from from a reader who went on a cruise of 2800 gay guys. On the cruise they had set up poz meetings so other HIV positive guys could hang out. He mentioned that only 5 guys showed up. That doesn’t seem right but it got me thinking.
When I lived in Chicago I use to go to this HIV party on Thursday nights. It was at a bar so I would stop after work. The first time I went there were 15 people. It didn’t get much bigger than that as time went on. There would be a few stragglers in and out but it was usually the same 15 of us. I knew there had to be more HIV positive guys in a city like Chicago.