19 Nov 2015

Health : When To Disclose Your HIV-Positive Status On A Date

Catégorie: Health
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Written by Tyler Curry – Editor at HIVequal.org

As I enter my 30s, I’ve noticed that getting older has its perks. Department store salesmen no longer roll their eyes when I ask to be fitted for a new suit, I no longer feel the need to sleep until just before the sun starts to set, and my car insurance company no longer hates me. It would seem that this so-called “midlife” isn’t so bad after all. That is, unless you are single. Single, and you are about to go on the dreaded first date. Single, dreaded first date, and you have to find a way to casually disclose that you are HIV-positive. Now, I still don’t believe getting older is all that bad, but it is definitely a hell of a lot more complicated.

Over the past several months I have been grappling with the question of just when is the right time to disclose my HIV status. This has led to many hypotheticals posed over bottles of wine with friends, both positive and negative. Several of my friends say that the cliché third date is most appropriate. Assuming sex is still off the table, this is the point at which both parties have had enough time to get to know one another for who they are, not what disease they are carrying. 

The danger of the “third date rule” is that it allows for feelings to develop, albeit little baby ones. Disclosing your status once a semblance of trust has formed is like placing a loaded gun in front of a person and asking them not to shoot you with it. I don’t know about you, but I am still reeling from the shotgun that tried to take me down when I found out about my status.

18 Nov 2015

Speak Out : Domestic Violence

Catégorie: Speak Out
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(This post was written by a member of A4A. If you would like to submit an article, please send it to blog@adam4adam.com)

I witnessed a fight on Halloween, in my friend’s upscale apartment complex. The scene was like the aftermath of a tsunami. Shattered windows, shards of glass, chandelier hanging by the wire, upside-down furniture… drops of blood in the hallway. The cops came and led one away… the other partner had already driven off his car with smashed windscreen.

The couple had lived together for about 3 years… And damn were they so fine! Both drop-dead gorgeous!!  They fought a good 20 to 30 minutes indoor, before bringing it out to the driveway.  Not many words were traded; just thunderous violent physical action!  It reminded me of what I had seen as a tourist in a South African safari park – two huge male lions fighting live!!!

17 Nov 2015


Catégorie: Health : News
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Charlie Sheen sat down with Matt Lauer on NBC’s Today Show to reveal his HIV-positive status. The interview had been billed as a “revealing personal announcement,” and sites like the Daily Mail and TMZ were reporting that it would be about his HIV status.

Last week, several news outlets began running salacious headlines about a Hollywood A-lister who has been trying to keep his HIV status a secret for years. Several prominent HIV-activists have criticized the reporting as fear-mongering and stigma-fueled rhetoric that is often become standard for mainstream HIV reporting.

I watched the Interview and have to admit that I liked it. Matt’s questions were on point, they even invited Charlie’s doctor to talk about transmission and the virus itself. Even though Charlie was obviously stressed about revealing his status, I feel that it was done properly. This interview will certainly educate people on how transmission is done and it’s a good thing they decided to invite his doctor to talk about it. I hope that it will also warn people on dangers to mix unprotected sex and drugs.

Watch a part of the interview below and let me know your thoughts!


16 Nov 2015

Love : They Found Love On A4A

Catégorie: A4A : Gay Stuff : Love
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I was amazed to see our A4A Twitter account tagged this morning by none other than New York Times! The famous newspaper has a wedding section in which they mentioned that Neil and Daniel met through Adam4Adam in 2007 and finally got married. When we say that Adam4Adam is what you make of it, that’s the proof!

In a recent post on our blog, we discussed about wether or not love exists. It does! You just need to be patient. And for those who said that A4A was a hookup site, yes it is, but it is also a dating site, a social site. Many of you have been there since the beginning, 2003, some of you developed friendship through A4A, some found love, some found sex parties, some found hookups. There’s something for everyone.

We rarely get to hear about the couples who formed on A4A because most of the times, they delete their accounts or at least don’t use it the same way. But if you’d like to get featured as a A4A couple, let me know (blog@adam4adam.com) and I’ll be glad to share your story on the blog, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. It is always great for other members to hear about stories like these!

Congratulations to Neil and Daniel!


15 Nov 2015

News : Paris, Beirut, Baghdad, Humanity…

Catégorie: A4A : News
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I put up a Paris selfie yesterday with a simple message of sending love to those in Paris and Beirut. I later removed it because of all the judgmental posts regarding slacktivism, the ignorance of Facebook not recognizing other tragedies and the media selectively covering Paris. Then I’ve thought about it a little more. What’s not being told is just as telling as what is. There are constant wedges trying to divide and segregate us from one another. But why? Governments only addressing France, Facebook only offering the France flag overlay and the media focusing on Paris are all statements that divide us. I also can’t help but observe how these messages align with and feed the industry of war.

We are all disturbed by the news from ‪‎Paris‬. I understand Paris is a beloved and familiar space for a lot of people, but it troubled me that ‪Beirut‬, had received so little attention after the horrific bombings two days earlier. It also troubled me that ‪Baghdad‬ received even less attention after the senseless bombing that took place there last week. Worst of all, I found the understanding of the refugee crisis skewed and simplistic. If you’ve been following the journeys of the people leaving their homes around the world right now, perhaps you’ll understand why the words ‪#‎SyrianRefugeeCrisis‬ are just as devastating as ‪#‎PrayForParis‬. It’s time to pray for humanity. It is time to make all places beloved. It’s time to pray for the world.

It’s too easy to hate. Its too easy to point the finger. It’s time to learn how to love. It’s time to create new messages that unite instead of listening to the messages that divide us. Peace!